Fool me once...

I feel really low today. Frustrated, maybe angry, like I could snap but I know I just never will. I'm obviously worthless and the last few weeks were just here to trick me to live.

My day job is better than ever and I'm more on top and advanced than I ever have been.  We all have problems in our lives but at work I act my normal-ish self. That being said some of my work colleagues have started to read this blog and began to see through my mask. To those of you, I say hello and thank you for your support.

I'm treading carefully because I hate upsetting or offending people but I should be clear. There are some people in my life who are pro-actively being nasty to myself and others. They 'bitch' behind people's backs and at times make blatant jokes about them in their presence. I have been asked how I cope and I used to block it out (mostly) but it is hurtful and recently it has felt more and more intense; particularly towards me.

OR am I being over-sensitive?
Is this my warped mind making the world a darker place than it is? Maybe things are fine. Why rock the boat?

OR am I right to be upset?
I've always bottled things and I shouldn't have to. But then... Why upset other people? Just suffer in silence and don't be burden, right?

Earlier this week the US suffered Mother's Day (it is a different day in the UK so there isn't a sudden rush at greeting card printing companies). Somewhere there is a information agency which seems to have recorded that my mother is dead and at first you might wonder where the profit could be made in knowing this. Fret no more!

A website called Heaven Address lets you light an online candle for your departed mother.

Dear Heaven Address.

I do not wish to light a candle. But I'll happily light a fucking bonfire with a drunk doll to represent my biological mother.


Talking of ghosts - we nearly lost our shit when a little girl decided to prank us in a nearby cave.  But, in doing so, did we capture a real ghost by sheer luck?

Have a look below and let me know.

Thank you once again for reading my blog. It means the world to me - especially as my article on THE CALM ZONE has had over 750 views. Thank you xxx

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on

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