Push through Anxiety or You'll Seize Up

RuPaul quite rightly says “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else”. That same love can be applied to care and support; if you don’t help yourself, how the hell can you help anyone else?

Arthritis can be an incredibly painful condition and those who suffer from it should be admired. They push through the pain using coping strategies and medication because if you don’t mobilise those joints, they could seize up and the pain would be worse. In short, use it or you’ll lose it. Anxiety is a similar beast.  Anxiety wants to isolate you. It wants to clamp you down. It wants to shut you up.

There are days where it is exhausting just to open the curtains. There are days you can get to the local shops and back.  But whether it is agony in your knee or a burden on your mind, you have to try. 

The CDC (a department of the US government) encourages those with arthritis to take up their SMART challenge. I think the same can be applied to Anxiety and mental health in general.
Start low, go slow.
Modify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active.
Activities should be “joint friendly.”
Recognize safe places and ways to be active.
Talk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist.

"To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on."- Dave Pelzer

Start low, go slow.
Find an activity you can dip in and out of. Maybe something you can do for 10 minutes and take a break. Something where you can slowly build up and join in gradually.. Don’t expect to run a 5k on the first day. Consider activities like a walking club, singing for fun club, maybe part of the backstage team at your local drama club or even just volunteering at a care home or school.

Modify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active.
If you all becomes too much (whether joints or pressure on your mental health) you can slip away for a while. If you can run 5k, you might not be able to do it every week. If you can’t run the 5k, do a little run instead. If you feel like going to singing or yoga this week is hard or you are already drained, maybe ask the leader if you can come for the first half and see how it goes. Sometimes the hardest part is getting over the first hurdle and once you are there you have the support and fun you really need.

Activities should be “joint friendly”.
For mental health, perhaps this is open to your interpretation. It might be that joining the local Drama Club provides you with the same ‘escapism’ it gave me or the idea of being on stage isn’t your thing, there are many groups like ‘Men In Sheds’ and ‘Library Games Club’ where you can be part of team taking part in casual activities. There is something to be said though for joining a sports activity and while it wasn’t for me personally, something like Netball or Lawn Bowls could be brilliant for physical and mental health. Being part of a team, a supportive team, can be very rewarding whether you win or lose.

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With thanks to the Membership team at Mind, the mental health charity

Recognize safe places and ways to be active
For me this links in with the above activities but this also includes safe places where you can get support. Does you library offer a local drop in service? Is there a local Mind? Some cafes also offer a mental health afternoon. If there isn’t, could a chat with your local Costa manager help set on up? Another aspect of this is where would you go in an emergency? Or a time of crisis?
I really recommend an app called “Hub of Hope” which does a great job of signposting you to local services whether it is in a crisis such as Samaritans or more routine support. They have a website also at:  https://hubofhope.co.uk/

Talk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist
Have you recently spoken with your GP? Have you been referred to a NHS Mental Health services or to a community service?
Many areas now accept self-referral so if you find talking to your GP hard, taking the first step to NHS support can be as simple as filling out a form. There is a long wait in most areas. Sometimes month just to have an assessment appointment before your referral makes it way to the right team. I understand that the long wait puts people off. I completely get the “why bother” feeling especially when you think you are stable. In reality, you might be slowly declining – for anxiety you might be slowly isolating yourself more and more – and it’s so gradual you don’t realise until there is a crisis. Refer yourself at the start and even if it’s only a light level of support … preventative is better than reactive.

I know the above might seem daunting but with mental health, you do have to practise and gently push yourself. If you don’t, it makes it harder to even accept or use the help you can get. 

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."- Dalai Lama

Thank you for reading my blog – especially if you have followed me on Twitter or liked my Facebook page. A big welcome to all my new readers – your input, opinions and sharing my links is very welcome.

As you can see below, I became a page three model this month as our story went nationwide in the summer edition of Mind’s Membership magazine. It has been lovely to hear your feedback and Mind even sent us a wedding present which is really sweet of them. If you live in Bucks, you might have even seen us in the county newspaper.

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With Thanks to the Bucks Free Press

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Join Mind and see the happiest Page3 models ever! Amazing things can happen! My story: www.MattStreuli.uk Huge thank you to Mind for being there for me and helping give a little love back 💒 #mentalillness #charity #savealife #mentalhealth #blogging #wedding #volunteering #mindfulness

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Back to Blog : Reboot V.2017

I knew my Childhood wasn't normal but I certainly didn't dwell on it. Children don't. They can be a lot stronger and more adaptable than we realise, depending on their age and how it is explained to them. My mother was an alcoholic.

What was a typical day like as a child? Well I got up and went to school. I've never needed a parent to wake me, did it all myself. Couldn't really be bothered with breakfast but I acted old enough to get to school and nag myself to do homework or clean the house.

I was her sole carer until she died when I was 13.

Flash forward to June 2015 and I tried to kill myself. Depression has been an ongoing symptom of my battle with mental health and the discrimination and stigma I have faced, mostly in the workplace, has only exacerbated the problem.

The main cause of my suicide attempt was stress and workload at work, since we had lost several members of staff without them being replaced, but the trigger was an incident at work where I defended someone I 'saw' as vulnerable but I came under attack. Without consciously knowing it, I needed to look after that vulnerable person just as I did when I was the sole carer for my Mother between the ages of 8 (my Step-Mum says it was when I was 10) and 13. She died from alcoholism. My 'damaged' hardware and software of my mind crashed.

I lasted just over 3 months. The trigger was when I brought something to the attention of my Senior Manager and challenged him, just like we are always being told to. I told him he had offended some of the staff and he replied with "I don't care". It set off the same cascade failure we had seen a few months earlier except this time, I asked for help. When I told that same manager I had been signed off due to work he replied "No one else has a problem." He even tried to convince me to resign. I've seen GPs, my NHS psychologist, I've spoken with solicitors and legal teams at Citizens Advice Bureau and ACAS as well as the fantastic team at MIND. He discriminated against me, I assume because of my disability.

I self harmed because of him. They knowingly exacerbated my condition. If I didn't ask for help they would have my blood on their hands.

In the end, with thanks to ACAS, I took the company to an employment tribunal but settled before the first hearing. Part of me wishes I held out just to have my ‘day in court’ but by this point, months after I ended up on long-term sick and having my pay cut off, I needed the money. I went from taken 100+ phone calls a day, handling orders in excess of £1m to being unable to make or take phone calls and crying when trying to handle basic paperwork.

Almost Two years on I am so much better than when I tried to kill myself, I am will always suffer anxiety and depression linked to my condition (Borderline Personality Disorder).

I then saw a job offer as a Lollipop Man. Perfect.

Stop Means Stop!
 Failing to stop for a Lollipop Man or Lady is a £1000 fine and 3pts

A great way to get me out the house, give me reason to wake up and avoid the risks of an office. It hasn’t been easy – I’ve been sworn at, had cars swerve round me and I was even hit by a courier van in February 2017 – but in the last year I’ve become a Teaching Assistant, re-met an old school friend and fell in love with her. MADLY in love. She moved in with me, taken care of me and I proposed to her on New Years 2017. She has given me hope in life and love. We've had a few explosive adventures! The council has given me hope in employers again and being one of two male staff at the school has given me a lot of lovely caring mother figures – I can’t get away with anything!

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter  -  @MattStreuli

I should also mention how amazing my drama club has been - giving me love and care of a family of friends as well as a way of self-exploration and desperately needed distraction.

Despite being busy with road safety and school work, I still write and I aim to reboot this blog. Over the 2 years, I've produced YouTube videos and I have even taken part in Public Speaking to the MoD with Time To Change to actively encourage everyone to speak out and seek help in an attempt to fight the frightening suicide rate, despite my ongoing depression and anxiety. I even help with shortlisting for the Mind Media Awards – this will be my second year. I've even appeared in The Guardian and written for HuffPost.

I might be a lot poorer than when I worked in that office, but I am happier and physically healthier than ever before.


BELOW are links to some favourite posts of my past blog. Every view and share is really appreciated. 

When I looked at my friend sat on the kerb, I didn't see her. Just how am I to describe it? A hallucination? A flashback? It was like watching a film and suddenly the actress playing my friend was swapped with the one playing my dead mother, but I was the only one who could see it. Why did my head decide this was a helpful thing? > http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/i-cannot-do-2015-again.html 

 It makes me feel I have achieved something and I'm not failing at life. Having a disability means I'm succeeding in survival. > http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/i-cannot-do-2015-again.html

Bernina Tin VINTAGE full of machine accs

: https://t.co/23SgN3rbII via @eBay_UK

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) May 28, 2017

We all have that niggly little doubting voice

Everyone's mind does it. "Things are just too good" it whispers and makes you think your partner will someday leave you. It is completely normal, whatever normal really is, to want some assurance and security in your life. In actual fact, this is a perfect example of how every has mental health and how normal it is.

Some people are able to dismiss that though. Some, like my beautiful girlfriend, need reminding and reassurance to keep the thought at bay. Others in the world can never ignore or dismiss the thought sometimes due to their own mental health or preconceptions from past relationships influencing said mental health.

Click here for last week's blog post

Life in the 21st century is at full speed. That can be fun. However, it is important to stop sometimes and reflect on your progress. Looking back over the past few months my own mental health has stabilised. The 'other half' (girlfriend doesn't make our relationship sound real or serious enough...) has facilitated me to recover further than I thought possible. A few weeks ago I typed with some fear at the idea of ever working a 9-5 job again and pondering how inevitable my mind's failure would be. Yet here we are at the Summer Holidays where I have been working and volunteering sometimes longer than 9-5. Our home is cleaner than ever, even with the paced arrival of her belongings from her parent's house.

“Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It’s the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with.” » Adam Ant

I'm not sure if I believe in karma or fate but I do think that sometimes events happen because you are more receptive or able to engage in them which is why tomorrow I am taking part in a charity training event, next week I go on holiday with the 'other half' and I've just signed the contract to act in a professional feature film being filmed later this year. Thanks to Blue Smudge, I'm even taking my meds more regularly which based upon the small stockpile I have suggests this was another aspect of adulting I previously sucked at.

Thanks to a chesty cough I'm going to keep this week short and sweet but I wanted to touch upon a DNA service which has been mentioned in press reports. 23andMe provides a personalised genetics service where you can receive over one hundred reports based on your DNA. Once they have examined your DNA and given you a report, the data is then anonymized (so no one can know where or who it was from) and is made available to medical researchers who in turn have made some interesting links between depression and certain genes. At £125 for a kit I am very interested to see if I hold those genes but also just what my DNA looks like... although need to fundraise first! Either way it's time to leave you with a few social media posts to browse. You can also look back on my most viewed posts, some of which have 1000's of views, via the left sidebar of my blog.

Thank you once again for reading and sharing my blog and remember - we all have that niggly little doubting voice... try not only listen to it.

If you wish to support my blog, please share the link on your social media. There is also a PayPal Donate button below.

My anniversary present from my bae! 😀Eeek! Www.MattStreuli.uk #startrek #startrek50 #communicator #wandcompany #aniversary #blogger #mentalhealth @blue_smudge #bestgfever #kirk

A video posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on Aug 2, 2016 at 6:50am PDT

We are a team and I love you so very much. I'll happily keep telling the doubting voice that.
💑 You're my partner https://t.co/NlIh8pOsoN

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) July 31, 2016

http://mattstreuli.tumblr.com/post/147881461969/dont-judge-yourself-for-having-a-bad-day

Theresa May in The Crisis From Our Minds

It may sound like a "B" list movie from the 1950's but Mrs May is our next Prime Minister and whilst every other blog is pondering how she will face Brexit or the Tax dodging of whichever evil corporation we despise this season, I'm curious how she will face the mental health crisis.

In essence, do we have reason to hope things can get better?

Her work history is actually quite impressive. She has served in several Cabinets (the main operating committee of the Government) and Shadow Cabinets (the main opposition's version). At one point she was Chair of the Conservative Party and described as a one-nation liberal conservative. Aside from her work as Minister for Women and Equality and is now the longest serving Home Secretary in UK history. To compare our Government to a real-world business, this means she has been a senior executive who actually does the work the CEO boasts about at your annual conference. If I'm starting to sound rather Pro-May its because I'm slowly convincing myself with all the more research I do.

Anne Perkins of The Guardian observed that "she'll be nobody's stooge"

However, actions can speak louder than words and some actions do not reflect well, especially in hindsight.

Perhaps like me, you had forgotten the pet cat? I'm not referring to Larry the Chief Mouser at Downing Street but instead the cat which belonged to a man facing deportation. It brought to attention the quote in the adjacent picture that in summary, this gentlemen was not deported because he owned a cat. This later turned out to be a whisker or two from the truth. Said man was in a real long-term relationship here in the UK and the cat was just one piece of evidence in said tribunal.

Mrs May, through her husband, has links with security firm G4S which also gained some large sub-contracts from HM Government and Police forces during her time as Home Secretary. At one point the Police Federation described her as a 'Bully' with the curious 'unnamed sources' saying she was selling our Police to Serco; however this was after she demanded they make reforms in the wake of scandals such as Stephen Lawrence and cut the extreme high pay for the 'union' leaders out of the tax pocket.

Just a week ago the National Audit Office published a pretty bad report regarding a 'detention centre' called Yarl's Wood. The report criticised  Theresa May’s Home Office and NHS England who gave to Serco and G4S contracts to run Yarl’s Wood’s residential and health services which ‘did not initially meet the needs of the vulnerable population detained there’

AND THERE IS MORE! However, we all have bad stains in our past. I'm assuming you've read some past posts of my blog so you've seen my trials and tribulations to no end! Perhaps I should focus on how far we have come? A survey by Office for National Statistics in 2007 showed that 22% of people surveyed thought that the mentally ill were “a burden on society”. Shocking but in 9 years alot has changed and some of the seeds seem to be from Mrs May.

In 2012, our Prime Minister was the Home Secretary and she widened the laws on Domestic Violence. Previously it had felt rather cold and logical basing justice on physical damage but now "mental torment" is taken into account. Controlling and Bullying may not be physical but is rightly seen to cause harm now in the eyes of the court.

Read my latest Huffington Post article!

In the last few days, Theresa May has promised to put real workers on the boards of big business to ensure they start working for employees and not just shareholders. Given my personal, harrowing experience with workplace discrimination, this comes to me with a massive glimmer of hope.

Over the past year £15 million has been allocated to provide medical care for those in mental health need who previously would of been held in a Police cell. Promising this action in 2014, Theresa said "Most members of the public won’t think of the police in relation to people with mental health needs ... Unless you have done something wrong, or been a victim of crime, you won’t expect to come across a police officer. So imagine what it is like for the thousands of people with mental health problems, learning disabilities or other vulnerabilities who regularly encounter the police" I find it slightly scary to say but true to her word, change is slowly happening. In February this year Mrs May banned Police cells being used as a 'place of safety' for all Under 18s. In 2013 a report found that mental health took up 20% of the Police's time and it actually looks like Mrs May is getting the Police back to fighting crime and us, the patients, into some healthcare situation instead of a cell. Along with Karen Bradly (Minister for Preventing Abuse, Exploitation and Crime) and  Alistair Burt (Minister for Mental Health) the use of Police cells for holding mental health patients is down 50%.between 2011 and 2015.

Too often and for far too long, vulnerable people experiencing a mental health crisis who have committed no crime have found themselves in a police cell because there is nowhere else to go. - Karen Brady MP

This isn't an easy battle to win.

 As a recent survey from the Youth Health Parliament shows, patients are desperate for earlier intervention with more face-to-face help, there is a still an uphill struggle. My own personal struggle reflects the bigger mental health crisis but I think Theresa May has the tools and the willpower to bring real positive change to the face of mental health and the male suicide crisis. I think we have reason to be optimistic...

If you suffer from mental health problems, there's too often not enough help to hand.              - Theresa May MP

Mrs May....
Some children wait 32 weeks for mental health treatment whilst suicide is the biggest killer of men. You might only have a few years but I think this is our best chance to save our lives. It's Time to Change and you can help us do it.

As always thank you for reading and sharing my blog - and even browsing my past posts on my own first hand experience with mental health. Every view and share really helps fight the stigma and spread understanding. xx Below is some of my social media highlights - please enjoy and share :)
Thanks again! Matt xx

.@TheresaMay2016 I'd love to meet/speak about reforms in mental health and workplace discrimination. We can prevent suffering like I faced

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) July 11, 2016

Take time to reflect on your day. Learn, accept and relax. Tomorrow's a new day of opportunities www.MattStreuli.uk #blogger #mentalhealth #inspiration

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on Jul 12, 2016 at 11:05am PDT

Sometimes Depressed People Want to Live

Depression can feel like a lead weight on your chest whilst a vacuum drains the joy and energy from your soul. Some days, suicide did seem like the best option. It even felt uplifting to consider that I might have a solution or a conclusion for it all. Other days I didn't want to die but I wasn't too fussed to stay alive. To quote a Nik Kershaw song I covered last year; "It's getting harder, just keeping life and soul together. I'm sick of fighting, even though I know I should."

"Self-observation is the first step of inner unfolding."

~ Amit Ray

Workplace discrimination is illegal. However, 48 per cent of people with a mental health problem still say they would not be comfortable telling their employer about their illness. As you may of read over the past year in my blog, some employers can actually be more destructive than supportive. In fact, that employer exacerbated my condition to the point I actually tried to kill myself last year. Yet something has changed.

Read my latest article at
huffingtonpost.co.uk/matt-streuli

It dawned on me the other night.Suddenly I spotted that I wasn't just surviving to the next event or checkpoint in my life. Pushing myself to reach the next week. As I laid on the sofa, staring at the artex it clicked. I was shocked and slightly baffled. Even though the next day was just another day of volunteering, working (nearly getting hit by cars speeding on on their phones) and trying to do the basic things of being an adult (paying bills etc), I noticed that I was actually looking forward to the next day.

That's not to say that over the past thirteen years I've had some form of mental health issue that I have not looked forward to things or events. I have. I really have. But said events have been a goal to aim for and something to enjoy if or when I complete the battle to survive that long. This feeling was warm and different. Tomorrow wouldn't just be another day of putting on my outward facing mask, I'm actually looking forward to my life and I am actually enjoying it. Part of that is certainly down to my amazing friends and especially my girlfriend who not only shares my love of fun, taste in music and comedy but our bond unites and balances us in the same way 'ying and yang' or two fat kids on a see-saw do. For that metaphor to work both children would need to be equal weight and it would be the dullest day at the playground but ignoring that minor issue, I hope you get the general idea.

  Post continues below video:    Making YouTube videos is a great way to share the fun and make people smile - plus it gives me a postive creative outlet. Your support really matters - thank you for your comments, shares, likes and views :)


I'm aiming this at myself. The person who I was in the days following my suicide attempt. If you can't imagine what that mindset is like there is a fantastic TED talk at the bottom of this post. Essentially, I tried to act as if I was OK and get back to some normality as quickly as I could but I deep down knew I was broken.

The 'Mrs' and I

 Deep down I was worried I might never be fixed. Some of you reading this will be stuck in the same rut. Today, I can tell you that we may never be fixed and I'm pretty cool with that. In fact, it defines who we are. Today, I can tell you that not every day will be an exhausting battle - some days will and they really drain me. I know I'm not fixed or perfect but for the first time, in a long time, I'm actually looking forward to each day and not just seeing it as another battle in the war of life.

Whether I'm volunteering with he brilliant yet wacky children, acting on the stage of my local club, presenting my weekly radio show, writing this blog or just being with my partner; I am happy to admit that I am OK and slowly getting back to some normality. It isn't easy and I don't think my battles, based upon my tweets anyway!, will ever be over but hopefully you can see some hope to motivate you to where I am and beyond.

Thanks for reading - every view and ad-click does really make a difference. Please share this blog and my social media. 

Thank you for your support and love.   #MentalHealthMatters

 

http://mattstreuli.tumblr.com/post/146643137157/selfie-before-school-wwwmattstreuliuk

 

I liked a @YouTube video https://t.co/Ya1sbI11Rd Why we choose suicide | Mark Henick | TEDxToronto

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) June 30, 2016

Matt Streuli is a blogger who has appeared on National Radio and in National Newspapers talking about his experience with depression, 

anxiety and workplace discrimination. This week he writes about wanting to live and what that means with BPD or EUPD. 

For more information on mental illness visit Time To Change, Mind and Rethink.

 To talk to The Samaritans call 116 123.

Trying to Accept I Can't Solve Things I Can Solve

I think I'm a bit of a lazy person but my Psychologist disagrees. I could have curled up and hidden myself with the events of last October but instead I used what energy I could muster to fight. Rather than glue myself to a TV, which I did to some extent, I wrote this blog. At times I've set goals on how many YouTube videos to produce as well as pushed myself to be active in the community with continually improving the drama club and improving myself through my weekly radio show and through my work with Time To Change.

I hate inequality. One of the big motivators for me writing this blog is that no one should have to go through what I did either as a child when I was the sole carer for my alcoholic mother but also for the horrible treatment I've received because of my disability. And yes, my mental health condition is a disability - I didn't realise it at first but as I shared on this Huffington Post article there are quite a lot of us out there with mental health issues that affect our quality of life.


Rather than going to celebrate a very successful summer show, I ended up feeling really low. It was all because the 2nd, 3rd and 4th lanes of the M40 were closed. For a few miles overhead signs had indicated the lanes were closed with arrows indicating that lane to merge into the next lane until the red X appeared. I was in lane 1. I was stationary only to discover that it was because all manner of vehicles were storming down the carriageway, through the red X signs and then barging into lane 1. Worryingly people seem oblivious that passing a Red X is a criminal offence. It should cost you 6 points on your license and a £60 fixed fine. Yet no one, as far as I can see, is enforcing it. Enforcing it, would pay for itself and generate extra funds for 'more bobbies on the beat' as well as encouraging safer use of our roads.

As you may have seen from past posts here, I am a lollipop man and I witness all sorts of behaviour on the roads. There was a time when I reported every vehicle I saw that failed to stop when signalled to do so or where the driver was clearly on their phone. What I find infuriating is that I can see the solution to this but I cannot do it or use it. How simple would it be to have a camera that I then edit the footage for each offence and auto-generate a warning letter or fine, Such a system much exists or even if I have to do it manually, it will still be worth it. "If you tolerate this, then your children will be next". Does something hideous have to happen before we will take action and actually bring justice on those behaving likes twonks?

I cannot go into much detail about my particular incident on the crossing but to say I signalled a minibus to stop and steadily and safely it did. Within seconds I had spotted the vehicle inches from my back and was shocked to hear the driver hurling abuse at me including calling me "suicidal" and "mental". I get that the Police are overstretched but I cannot see that anything is being done. Again, I'm left with an unsupported authority with people trying to maim or kill me.

I guess my fear is that if people are not penalised for their selfish and deadly behaviour, whether it is hitting me on the crossing or hitting a Road Engineer in a closed line, then said behaviour will spread. A "they didn't get told off and it is a quicker so I'll copy" mentality. Slowly the hole level of driving is slowly dropping. Admit it, you've seen it with people on their phones texting or calling with one or no hands on the steering wheel. All it takes is an excited child into the road or a tiny sideways drift on to the kerb and people will die.

I felt really hurt and I will take this opportunity to say a huge thank you and well done to the call handler at the Police and the local Gent from the Residents Association who talked it through with me and helped me calm down and accept what had happened.

In some ways these are not situations I can resolve but they do passionately make me feel that I have viable solutions, where a CCTV operator could even fund itself and the warning letters it would mostly send. Yet, I am trapped watching things slowly get worse which combined with the threat of someone either getting out and killing me or just running me down in their van is more stress than it is worth.

I've spoken this through with my Psychologist and it seems to resonate with my unequal or unjust treatment in my pas discrimination and even with the way I feel toward my now-dead mother. I have to find ways to accept that I cannot make the changes I feel are needed and I have to accept I can do only what I can do - which is fine for minor issues but not for ones where people are going to die.

Still, I guess this isn't my biggest worry. Given I've never held, but I am entitled to, a UK passport perhaps I should be worried 'they' will try to deport me on my Swiss one. Weirder things have happened. As mentioned last week, mental illness is like a marathon and the next stage is realising this isn't something I can change correctly overnight. Just like my tattoo, this could be the end but the story is ongoing.

Somethings I can solve and don't need stressing over as I can solve them later but these issues feel like life or death yet I cannot fix it. Part of me doesn't want to 'accept' that.

How do you accept 'solveable' issues out of your control? How does Brexit affect you and your mental health? Tips or tricks for me? Please share and Comment :)

Feeling much better after what started as a horrible day.  Having #mentalhealth abuse shouted at you at work doesn't help you feel good

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) June 23, 2016

 

http://mattstreuli.tumblr.com/post/146351364167/earlier-today-a-man-shouted-at-me-that-i-was

 


#mentalhealth #discrimination #disabilities 🎭 #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #medicatedandmighty #BPD #depression #blogger #london 🇨🇭🇬🇧 #mind #stigma #timetochange #timetotalk #imnotashamed #sicknotweak #InTheMind #endthestigma #eupd #ExploreMH

#Stress can mean Death or Success - #MHW2016 #MensHealthWeek

Sometimes I feel an enormous sense of a frustration. It can feel like I'm screaming. I'm not the only one but it can feel few and far between and ineffective to say the least. There was a time when the screams were for cancer. The horrible pain, high death rate and inexplicable stigma; yet everyone knew someone close who was suffering or suffered. Over time, charities along with institutions like the NHS and the HSE (Health and Safety Executive) have rallied the screams and presented a united front line.

So where is that rally call for mental health? Slowly the stigma is being tackled yet in 2016, suicide remains the biggest killer of men aged under 45 and teenage men. Meanwhile, more teenagers are self harming than ever before. Gradually support in schools is improving but still falls far short of basic levels found as standard in the US. If you have been reading my story then you will understand that I found myself trapped in a job as my mental health deteriorated until, 12 months ago, I tried to kill myself. I had been choosing my job over my own health and as we've discussed before, with a unsupportive employer this nearly killed me.

Stress is a key theme this Men's Health Week and sometimes stress can be good. It is perfectly reasonable to feel some stress as you are heading towards a deadline. A prime example for me is the work I've been doing with the Iver Heath Drama Club. For the past 5 months, I've been in charge of the Youth efforts. I've been coordinating with Scenery designers, painters and builders. I've liaised with the director of the Adult team's production. I've enlisted the help of our costume team, make up and tried to help run the box office. I've lead the way on the club's social media. I've done all of this with the help and support of some amazing friends and comrades. I've done all of this on top of actually planning, producing and directing a show with 15 people in it who are mostly aged 7 to 15 and a mixture of abilities and disabilities. I've felt stressed. I've seen some bad rehearsals. Yet when the curtain closed on our first performance to a big applause, I felt a huge wave of achievement. Stress was there to keep pushing me on, ensure I appreciated the task and its burdens and strive for the best I could do. To those fantastic youngsters on the stage and to those behind you, you did me and your club proud.

Life is full of stress but there are many different kinds. For example, did you know an average officer worker is more stressed on a busy commute than a stunt pilot? There are different kinds of stress and while no one can deny a stunt pilot is under pressure, he experiences the stress as a positive adrenalin rush. Where as Mr MiddleManagment's heart is exploding as the traffic again slows to a crawl on the M25. - My Blog on my Pessimism from early June 2016

However, too much stress can also cripple you. You might just be pushing on but physical pain can appear in your back as a sign of your hidden stressful burden. In fact, in 2013 the HSE recorded 9.9 million sick days due to mental health. The biggest culprit of those days was stress.

Sometimes stress can be really short term - building up to a project or a meeting. Sometimes it can go on forever and getting worse along the way - my experience as discussed on this blog is that staff were not replaced and workload steadily increasing and becoming more complicated without adequate support despite asking and getting a Doctor's support for it.

My girlfriend, Blue_Smudge, and I:Click here for our latest unboxing video!

My mental health disability can be a cycle. This means that when I am OK or feeling good, I pressure myself to get as much done as I can and to a high standard. This combines with other stresses in my life, other triggers, and therefore causes my condition to worse. In essence, sometimes we can generate our own stress and particulary so with the stress and stigma of mental health. Sometime I worry what people will perceive, think and feel of me that I struggle to do anything but feel anxiety (stress) over it.

One in four of you will develop a mental health problem. That is odds of 3 to 1. According to the Men's Health Forum it is the same as France or Germany winning the Euro 2016 .

"There are many things we can do to beat stress: exercise, sing, dance, laugh, play or listen to music, paint, write, volunteer, learn something new and lots more. Tell us what you do. Let's talk.
Our message to men: talk about how you beat stress, talk about what causes it. Talk to your mates, talk to your family" - Men's Health Forum

Earlier in the year I visited AWE Burghfield (link here) with Time To Change. This is one of many employers who realise that it is far cheaper, healthier and profitable to prevent serious or long term sickness caused by mental health and stress but early intervention and basic plans of support. We should champion and support these forward thinking supportive employers because far to many of us are being damaged (in terms of mental health) and left on a scrapheap. Left as a burden to the NHS and, if we are 'sick enough' to qualify for some benefits like PIP. 

Search #HelpGBWorkWell on Twitter

 Sometimes I stress about things outside of my control. Sometimes that stress is closer to anxiety. Will I ever be normal? Will I ever go back to having a relatively successful office career with a decent wage? The anxiety and stress of no benefits, little income and my mental health issues slowly bounce from one question to the next with my pessimism saying "Don't Risk It!"  In short, bad stress pins you down and exacerbates any doubts or depression you may have.

I worked in customer service and logistics. We used to say "Manage Expectations". Perhaps its time we all managed our expectations of ourselves and learnt to not only share and support our friends and colleagues who need it but also call out those building the problem stress in the first place.

The first thing you can do is take time to talk about your mental health, especially stress, and find good supportive managers, friends and family. To be that supportive friend too. By reading and sharing blogs and stories like mine, you are fighting the stigma on stress,

My anxiety says I shouldn't risk going into any work but I know most managers and employers want the best from and for you. Do not be afraid to seek professional help, speak to a manager and a GP, if you feel that you are no longer able to manage things on your own. Many people feel reluctant to seek help as they feel that it is an admission of failure. It is part of the reason why it took me so long to even get on the waiting list for NHS help - I kept trying to 'man up'.

It is important to get help as soon as possible so you can begin to get better and stay in work; not end up damaged and unable to work like me. With Suicide being the biggest killer of men, isn't now the time to issue that rally call and unite the fight?

Thank you for reading and sharing my blog. All comments and tweets are welcome xx 

Read my latest #mentalhealth article on #huffpost @huffpostuk - My Amygdala brought my dead mum back to life! Www.MattStreuli.uk

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on Jun 14, 2016 at 3:31pm PDT

 Click here for my HUFFINGTON POST article: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/matt-streuli/my-amygdala-brought-my-al_b_10435194.html

12 months ago, I tried to kill myself.
Suicide is the biggest killer of men.

Read my story at... https://t.co/yunIgrt3HL

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) June 13, 2016

I'm Matt. I'm 26 and I write a mental health blog and articles for the Huffington Post. I'm also the Chairman and dame of the Iver Heath Drama Club in South Bucks. I host The Matt Streuli Show on Southwaves Radio and live near West London. 
Videos: YouTube.com/MattStreuli
Twitter : @mattstreuli
Tumblr : mattstreuli.tumblr.com/