Showing posts with label #equality4mentalhealth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #equality4mentalhealth. Show all posts

What's in your Stress Container?

I can't remember the last time I cried. I remember crying at my Mum's funeral. I'm sure I've cried since then - 18 years have passed after all!
 
I've recently told people that my tolerance is lower than it was than before I became a father a couple of months ago. Stress and disrupted sleep will do that. An NHS colleague described the last few months as being dumped on continuously. It does feel like that. There are days you are scrambling to keep near the top and other days you are peering like a Meerkat awaiting the next disaster.

 
No one is ever fully prepared for being a parent. There are quirks and phases, some last hours and others last months. There's pressure and people who know best even though it's been out of medical practice for almost 10 years.

All that being said, I wouldn't change a thing. I love my wife and I love my Son.

To any prospective parents reading this, take some time and spare capacity in your life and your mind. Be ready to ask for help and say 'No'. Be ready to do what is best for you and your clan. And when you think you have enough spare time and energy, make some more. You have a partner to support too and that had its own pressures, concerns, and rewards.

I've been so lucky to have work - so I'm not being a parent 24/7. You don't appreciate how much strain Mum is under because you are in a different mindset - stressed at work. I'm working full time in the NHS in addition to working self-employed and so recently felt very aggravated when someone suggested I do even more work - unpaid. I do quite a lot of volunteering as it is and when someone tries to take those tiny moments you have to enjoy family time, it's infuriating.

This brings me back to the feeling like I need a cry. Crying is OK. I sometimes feel like I need a good cry to let it out but for whatever reason, I can't. I've never found crying easy.

Everyone has a stress container. They are different shapes and fill at different rates. The pressures in my life and the dates in my diary are different to yours and this is reflected in the way we hold and manage our stress. This is something we discuss during the Mental Health First Aid course by MHFA England which I teach - details here. Something you find easy can fill someone else's stress container. When the bucket is full, it bulges and bursts with stress until we snap. We lash out, we snap, we cry. The expression "the straw which broke the camel's back" is great example of when something you might normally see as minor can be the event that buckles your bucket.

If you'd like to know more, then please consider becoming a mental health first aider. There are some good short courses out there for introduction, but I would strongly recommend an accredited course like the 2 Day course by St John's Ambulance or the 2 Day Online course I teach by MHFA England. Being a Mental Health First Aider helps you better support yourself, your staff and your customers in the same way a physical first aider does. It helps teach you to support and react in general everyday occurrences as well as big crisis - just as physical first aid supports you to use a plaster or to do CPR. In fact global company Deloitte published studies showing a positive case for employers investing in mental health, with an average return of £5 for every £1 spent.

Find out more about Mental Health First Aid at www.mentalhealthmatt.co.uk

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Push through Anxiety or You'll Seize Up

RuPaul quite rightly says “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else”. That same love can be applied to care and support; if you don’t help yourself, how the hell can you help anyone else?

Arthritis can be an incredibly painful condition and those who suffer from it should be admired. They push through the pain using coping strategies and medication because if you don’t mobilise those joints, they could seize up and the pain would be worse. In short, use it or you’ll lose it. Anxiety is a similar beast.  Anxiety wants to isolate you. It wants to clamp you down. It wants to shut you up.
There are days where it is exhausting just to open the curtains. There are days you can get to the local shops and back.  But whether it is agony in your knee or a burden on your mind, you have to try. 
The CDC (a department of the US government) encourages those with arthritis to take up their SMART challenge. I think the same can be applied to Anxiety and mental health in general.
Start low, go slow.
Modify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active.
Activities should be “joint friendly.”
Recognize safe places and ways to be active.
Talk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist.

"To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on."- Dave Pelzer

Start low, go slow.
Find an activity you can dip in and out of. Maybe something you can do for 10 minutes and take a break. Something where you can slowly build up and join in gradually.. Don’t expect to run a 5k on the first day. Consider activities like a walking club, singing for fun club, maybe part of the backstage team at your local drama club or even just volunteering at a care home or school.
Modify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active.
If you all becomes too much (whether joints or pressure on your mental health) you can slip away for a while. If you can run 5k, you might not be able to do it every week. If you can’t run the 5k, do a little run instead. If you feel like going to singing or yoga this week is hard or you are already drained, maybe ask the leader if you can come for the first half and see how it goes. Sometimes the hardest part is getting over the first hurdle and once you are there you have the support and fun you really need.

Activities should be “joint friendly”.
For mental health, perhaps this is open to your interpretation. It might be that joining the local Drama Club provides you with the same ‘escapism’ it gave me or the idea of being on stage isn’t your thing, there are many groups like ‘Men In Sheds’ and ‘Library Games Club’ where you can be part of team taking part in casual activities. There is something to be said though for joining a sports activity and while it wasn’t for me personally, something like Netball or Lawn Bowls could be brilliant for physical and mental health. Being part of a team, a supportive team, can be very rewarding whether you win or lose.
CLICK the image to view full screen
With thanks to the Membership team at Mind, the mental health charity
Recognize safe places and ways to be active
For me this links in with the above activities but this also includes safe places where you can get support. Does you library offer a local drop in service? Is there a local Mind? Some cafes also offer a mental health afternoon. If there isn’t, could a chat with your local Costa manager help set on up? Another aspect of this is where would you go in an emergency? Or a time of crisis?
I really recommend an app called “Hub of Hope” which does a great job of signposting you to local services whether it is in a crisis such as Samaritans or more routine support. They have a website also at:  https://hubofhope.co.uk/

Talk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist
Have you recently spoken with your GP? Have you been referred to a NHS Mental Health services or to a community service?
Many areas now accept self-referral so if you find talking to your GP hard, taking the first step to NHS support can be as simple as filling out a form. There is a long wait in most areas. Sometimes month just to have an assessment appointment before your referral makes it way to the right team. I understand that the long wait puts people off. I completely get the “why bother” feeling especially when you think you are stable. In reality, you might be slowly declining – for anxiety you might be slowly isolating yourself more and more – and it’s so gradual you don’t realise until there is a crisis. Refer yourself at the start and even if it’s only a light level of support … preventative is better than reactive.
I know the above might seem daunting but with mental health, you do have to practise and gently push yourself. If you don’t, it makes it harder to even accept or use the help you can get. 


"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."- Dalai Lama
Thank you for reading my blog – especially if you have followed me on Twitter or liked my Facebook page. A big welcome to all my new readers – your input, opinions and sharing my links is very welcome.

As you can see below, I became a page three model this month as our story went nationwide in the summer edition of Mind’s Membership magazine. It has been lovely to hear your feedback and Mind even sent us a wedding present which is really sweet of them. If you live in Bucks, you might have even seen us in the county newspaper.
CLICK the image to view full screen.
With Thanks to the Bucks Free Press
PLEASE SHARE THIS POST ON TWITTER & FACEBOOK



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Are you desensitised to Suicide?

This post has been bouncing around the back of my mind for a while now. It started with a post on a local Facebook group wondering why there had been no news following a suicide at a local train station. Some of the comments were angry – why would there need to be news? What is there to be said? The person making the post was sincere in the reply they didn’t need the gory details but felt that a death like that is shocking moment and there should be some memorial or acknowledgment to the person who has passed.

Not just some sterile note that services were briefly delayed that day.



This has been bugging me. At times, I am actually quite furious about this. If the person had been subject to bad Doctor, it would be a shocking newspaper story. If the person had been attacked in the park, the press would have sounded the rallying cry for better policing and in turn better funding.
So, where is the article and the shock that our mental health system is failing? Where is the rallying call where we bang on the doors of those MPs who feel their duck pond is more worthy than our brothers and sisters?

Do we really now live in a world where a Suicide on our railways is no longer a tragedy, but just a delay to the chaos commute? Is that the kind of world you want to live in?
In 2016/17, 237 people took their lives on the railway – the lowest number since 2010/11.

Small Talk Saves Lives - Click here for the Network Rail campaign


I’ve touched upon this before on my blog. I remember the revelation when I found out that suicide is and has been the biggest killer of men and teenage men for decades. Mental Health isn’t some new problem. This has been going on for decades. As a society, we took the fight on with TB, Cancer, and AIDS. Where is the anger and revolution to take that social fight to mental health?


In my own story, I’ve broached how if it was 2019 and not 1999, then safeguarding would have triggered a response by the School, NHS, Police, and Council. Perhaps this will save some of the youngsters from entering the desolate paths that lead to the adult mental health crisis – or at least give them a more stable route with better chances.

Is suicide so common that we don’t actually care anymore? The World Health Organization says that ”Suicide is a global phenomenon”. Globally, it is the second leading cause of death for 15 to 29-year-olds. Why have we just accepted this?

Things are changing. Change isn’t always quick. Statistics for 2017 showed that certain suicide rates were down – some even at the lowest recorded.

Suicide is preventable. A short conversation with someone who may be struggling to cope can go a long way, and might even help save a life.

My Mum's boyfriend took his own life in the few months after my Mum's death at a train station. As an adult, I searched his name. Maybe records from 2004 aren't interesting enough for the internet, but the only trace of his existence was as a mark on a chart. A chart showing suicides by train station by year in the UK. He wasn't even a person anymore. Just a statistic. I understand families may want privacy but perhaps local press could publish a celebration or memorial to that person so the wider public feels that the delay to the 08:29 was actually the end of life, not just a nuisance.

Talking is one of the biggest ways you can make a difference. Whether it is asking someone, twice, if they are OK or maybe reiterating this article, talking is a key way that you can help save these lives.
In 2015, I was at my all-time low. I had nothing left to lose so I gave life a chance. We need to help people before it reaches that stage because I’m very lucky I’ve managed to recover to where I am now.

Find out more about my story in the article I’ve written for Brides Magazine. I’ve also written an article on the Mind website.



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Regular Blogging is hard....

I'm still available for Media things :) 
Click Image to view on SkyNews
Regular blogging is hard. Especially when you work two jobs (or thanks to some crossover it has been three!).

For those of you new to my story, I had an incredibly difficult time with a past employer which led to attempt to end my own life in 2015 and employment tribunal action for discrimination. It's taken a long time to get comfortable with my mind but also feel healthy enough to take risks.

To take big risks like going into a new full-time office job. A job with similarities to the one that nearly killed me.

I've been in my new job for just over two weeks so I'm able to look back without too much impact. It would be an understatement, however, to say it was easy. The days leading up to my new job were a holiday - even with the stresses of Summer Holiday Eurotunnel or a wheel nut disappearing on the French toll routes. The night before the new job, however, was a concern. Outside I tried to wear my old mask of 'Stiff Upper Lip' and 'Soldier on Through' but inside I actually felt scared.

A lot of my concerns are pretty normal. What will the people be like? What are the expectations? Where is it? Will they be understanding? Will they make judgments?
In the hours leading up to my start, all my mind would focus on is: "why am I taking the risk?"

I was happy where I was. OK, I need more money for the wedding but... I loved working in a school. I love the caring, funny yet devastating way children can be.

I have had one blip. It was two weeks in. Perhaps a shadow from my mental health diagnosis? 15 minutes from the end of the day, I'm pretty close to being on top of everything. Bam. A tonne of work hits my desk. This load behaves like an ignored parking fine: its grown from being a small fluffy annoyance into a cave-dwelling angry twit and has sharp pointy teeth. It could have been avoided. It almost ruined my night. The next day I crack on into the workload and realise that unlike the 'toxic waste dump' that I worked in during my lowest point (back in 2015), that the expectations of me and those around me were pretty reasonable. I wasn't forced by evil glare to stay late and try to solve every woe. Actually, with a good supporting team around you - even a bad day can be OK. In fact, the worst day so far was pretty good when I compare it to that company that nearly killed me.
Read more on my front page - www.MattStreuli.uk
I am very fortunate that my colleagues and superiors are nice, approachable and reasonable. I guess I should have expected that as I am now working for the NHS but as we've discussed before on this blog sometimes the biggest stigma we face is the threat and fears that our mind creates.

After all, everyone is human, mostly. 


NEXT TIME: More Wedding Tips & Visiting Caen







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Stigma is the scariest part of Live National TV #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

Sometimes I wonder if I should hide my identity. If employers and local gossipers google my name and become frightened of the monster I must be. It's a corner of my psyche I fight with every day like the anxiety of the withheld caller on your mobile phone. It can be really hard. Sometimes I apply stigma to myself through this fear.

I imagine going on Live TV is really hard but its even harder when you tell the world, with your face and name forever seen, that you tried to take your own life. I was asked to go on Victoria Derbyshire's show. I was overwhelmed. Going to the BBC and being on TV is an awesome level of epic. Plus I have been a shortlister for the Mind Media Awards for the past two years and have been very impressed with the shows efforts to talk about mental health. Using the recent storyline in Coronation Street, where the main character has been suffering suicidal thoughts for several months culminating in taking his own life, the show wanted to discuss whether openly talking about suicide using soaps is right and the way Coronation Street handled it.
"Just because it's hard to talk about, doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it."
I was nervous. As we all would be. But this is putting my face on national TV. Not everyone reads the newspapers or listens to the radio but everyone would see this. What if I freeze? What if I'm stupid? What if no one cares?


I made sure to get into Central London really early and my faithful Bluted helped keep me calm. I'd rehearsed in a mirror some of the key points I'd wanted to make but also an idea of what answers I would give to each question. The other guests and everyone on the production team were amazing. I felt put at ease. The makeup lady was lovely and engaging and the people on the floor cracked a few jokes to help us feel at home. I met my fellow guests, one from the Samaritans and one from the RadioTimes. The massive studio is much smaller in real life. Suddenly video clips from the soap are being played and Victoria is introducing herself to me.

Then it clicked. Everything fell into place. I didn't completely forget there were cameras but the years of amdram and being the pantomime dame paid off. I said what I felt and mixed in the phrases I had rehearsed with my reflection. Before I knew it, I was off. We spoke how respectful the show was and how fantastic and level the actors were. I was astounded by how this soap wasn't an over the top stereotypical soap - which is a difficult thing to do. The full video is below.

I have fond memories of "Mark Fowler" from BBC's EastEnders and I remember how he thrived, not just survived, with HIV. His story was hopeful, even with the traditional heightened drama of the soap world. We've seen the main character take his own life, now I want a character like Mark Fowler to give mental health the approachable and thriving view.

As quick as we started, it was done. Our mic packs were off and we were making our way out of the building. I had to get the tube straight back to Uxbridge and get to work!

I was buzzing. Maybe it was the tinted moisturiser but it wasn't until I was sat on the tube that the sweat started pouring.


I checked my social media. What did the world think?
The tweets were lovely. New followers proud that I have spoken so well. People sharing pictures of their TVs with my face on their Facebook walls. This is including people I had and had not prewarned to watch BBC2. For the next few days, I was on top of the world. I had spoken eloquently, made the points I'd wanted and no one hated me. In fact, people I barely knew or didn't know at all were sharing my tweets and video clips.

That feeling last two days. Maybe I'm sad but I had started to investigate who had posted or 'liked' my posts and tweets - or even those posted by others. The same few names were missing. From every post their names were not there. Names I felt should have been liking and sharing. Names I felt should have been shouting from the rooftops. Names, that if our places were swapped, I would have been sharing and liking their posts and even dropping them a text message of "well done". These were names I wanted to be proud of me. Yet one of them "hadn't had the time" to watch any of my live TV debuts.

I launched a poll on twitter asking if I'm an embarrassment. That's the only possibility, right? Why else would you ignore such an achievement? Unless I'm not special or important to those few names. They had the effort and time to post about other things.  Things I consider them not as important as the male suicide crisis let alone moi on live national news TV. It really hurt me.

Therapy from years ago tells me to confront it. I think my life experience and maybe a bit of "Eureka from RuPaul's Drag Race" tells me to focus my mind and energy on things I can control. Why waste your energy on toxic feelings or people? I can learn not to expect this kind of interaction from those names and they won't hurt me again. I am learning that if those names are embarrassed by my life and triumphs, then maybe they don't need to be in my life. You have the power to choose who is in your life.

My future is strong. My fiancee and I get married in April next year. Those who support us and love us, who celebrate us; they are our true family.

I won't let those names hurt me anymore.

But it goes to show, the worst part of Live TV or even talking about your experience of mental health, is that there are some people who care more about fear, discrimination and stigma.
Maybe more than they care for you.




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Excellence and 3x the Profit? How can #MentalHealth mean success for every business?





Just over two years ago I worked at the UK and Eire HQ for a large multi-national manufacturer. After five years with the company, I was forced to leave – after I tried to kill myself. So how can Mental Health save businesses £9b per year, deliver excellence in products and service and therefore up to 3x the profit?


Matt Streuli's TV Interview with Sky News - August 2017
Read more of my Story: https://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/BacktoBlog.html
The Heath and Safety Act treats mental and physical health equally, however, the real world has been slow to catch up. In my situation, I was taking on extra work and new roles to ‘help’ the company keep in profit. Yet new independent research by Soma shows that companies that record and track Mental Health make up to 3x the profit.[1]


I did everything my HR said, however, they didn’t do ¾ of the ‘reasonable adjustments’ suggested by their own Occupational Health Doctor. When I returned to the office with my final sick note from my GP, feeling duty bound to turn my out of office on and beg for my colleagues to cover my urgent duties, I was called in to see a senior manager. When I explained the situation and handed him my sick note he replied: “No one else had a problem”.
"In classrooms, in workplaces, around the dinner table, between friends even between strangers. People are now really talking about their own wellbeing and looking to help those around them. And while just talking doesn’t cure all ills, we are now shattering the silence that was a real barrier to progress. ”
– Prince Harry, Mind Media Awards 2017
The problem is that everyone does have this problem. The biggest killer of men and young men is not cancer, drugs or car crashes. The biggest killer of men in our country is suicide. In fact 75% of all suicides are male. Research released in August 2017 by Mind, the Mental Health Charity in England and Wales, show that men are twice as likely to suffer from mental health issues. Why does this matter to HR and CEOs? Research announced by one of Prince Charles’ charities in October 2017 showed that Work and the Workplace was the cause of 60% of mental health issues as surveyed by YouGov – regardless of gender.[2]

At a basic level, however, the solution is simple. Companies want to generate profit. This is done by creating a product or service and then nurturing its growth until it reaches the pinnacle of what it can achieve. We should be doing the same with our staff. As humans, we want what is best for ourselves, our families and each other. Big businesses are starting to realise that by nurturing and supporting their staff, they can mould their employees into what is best for the individual and the company; flexibility, compassion and ambition is a two-way avenue. 
"In the sphere of mental health alone I have found it to be quite extraordinarily supportive. What you do for yourselves and your friends and strangers can not be overstated."
- @stephenfry , Mind Media Awards 2017
Stress and other mental health problems are the second biggest cause of sickness absence, accounting for 70 million lost working days every year.[3] This sick leave plus the staff turnover costs £26 billion every year[4]. It is cheaper to support and nurture your staff and in turn you will harvest up to 3x the profits. 

How can a driver get to the podium if the pit crew can’t face another day? 

 Studies also show that simply spending 80p on health promotion and intervention saves £4 in costs due to absenteeism, temporary staff and presenteeism[5]. In my case, it would have also saved the cost of expensive Solicitors and a payout – let alone the Employer's embarrassment with Staff and Customers. 

The Centre for Mental Health has proven that simple steps to improve the prevention and early identification of issues should enable UK organisations to save 30% or more of current mental health and stress-related costs, a potential saving of £9 billion per year.[4] 
If you want to your products and service to bloom with excellence, that has to start with your foundations. That excellence can only be delivered by staff who are nurtured and flourishing themselves.

Search Matt Streuli on HuffPost to read my articles
 How can Customer Service deliver excellence when they live in a "toxic dump" or an "atmosphere of fear"?

Since leaving my ‘hurtful’ employer I have focused on my recovery and returning to work. Aside from my new career in Education and in the Voluntary Sector (for Mind, Time to Change and the Iver Heath Drama Club) I have been working as an advocate. This involves public speaking and representing the struggling, scared, silent workforce - including interviews with LBC, The Guardian, BBC Newsbeat, Paul Ross on TalkRadio and, most recently, Sky News. Compared to that ‘hurtful’ job, I am struggling to make ends meets but: I am healthy, happily engaged to a wonderful woman and I am Alive.

The reason I am writing to you is that YOU and the staff who directly report to you have the power to change your company and save lives. I would like to offer my services to you and your HR team. I would like to work WITH you in helping improve the mindset of your company and management structure to one that wants the best and what is best from and for everyone whether this is through public speaking at your meetings and conferences or on an individual basis. I would also like to support you in working toward an industry standard such as:
> The Mindful Accreditation (a NHS recognised Charter signed by over 1700 companies)
OR
> Joining Mind’s Wellbeing Index (run by the charity Mind, signatures include PepsiCo, Jaguar Land Rover and the Environment Agency)
OR
> signing the Time To Change Pledge (funded by Department for Health and Comic Relief, run by Mind and Rethink. It has over 500 signatures including Three, Thales, Aviva and Heineken.) 
1 in 4 of us will suffer with mental health[6] at any one time, it can affect anyone at any time and 60% of those are ignited by employers hurting us; not getting the best from us.

The question is no longer if you can risk the Employment Tribunal or if you can afford the ‘Reasonable Adjustments’. The question now is that with your competition taking on this mental health battle in search of a healthier workforce and 3x the profits, can you really afford not to?

If you would like to read more I would ask you have a look at the links referenced and at the Mental Health at Work Report Business in the Community (sponsored by Mercer with support from Royal Mail & Heathrow). If you already have Wellbeing and Mental Health First Aid in place, I would love to hear your success stories so I could ‘sing your praises’ elsewhere.

PLEASE send to your HR team and DARE them to take part in this momentum of change.

Read more of my story at: https://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/BacktoBlog.html
[1] http://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2017/10/10/profits-rack-ftse-100-firms-eye-mental-health-study-finds/
[2] http://news.sky.com/story/work-causes-mental-health-issues-in-60-of-employees-11066428
[3] https://www.mind.org.uk/workplace/workplace-wellbeing-index/index-201617-findings/
[4] https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/employment-the-economic-case
[5] http://www.mindfulemployer.net/business/cost-business-benefits/
[6] https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/about-mental-health


If you need help finding support, call the Mind Infoline between 9am and 6pm Monday to Friday on 0300 123 3393 or visit mind.org.uk If you want to talk to someone right now, Samaritans provide a listening ear on 116 123





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