The past two editions of this blog come mental health diary are somewhat scary for the suicidal subtext throughout them. Yet, this week I feel pretty good. It is completely counterintuitive because the issues I faced last week are still there. Financial ruin is still a possibility however I am happy to keep on; worry about what I can deal with now. I guess that is a good philosophy for life and it certainly relieves my anxiety and panic about my future although I do worry that I'm not worrying enough about my future.
|Panto went really well and only now am I ready|
for the future! www.ihdc.co.uk
Last week I felt I couldn't face going to drama but on Thursday I pushed myself to go spend some time with friends. Part of visiting friends is socialising with others. One of my bestest friends is a childminder and so to have her nearby is a god send and making the little children she looks after laugh during the day genuinely made me smile. By Friday evening I felt almost back to zero - a normal middle ground. I went to see my Nan with my normal pessimistic view that she will have mobility issues and her dementia like memory issues. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see she was up and about and her memory was pretty good.
|We have mental health. We should all take better |
care of our minds! Check our the #InTheMind season
on the BBC and my Facebook page!
Did I mention I updated the two pages on my website?
After my recent article in The Guardian, my Psychologist is encouraging me to do more of this work as it is a positive release for my condition. I’ve even tried emailing some agents to little success. I have been on LBC and even sat in to Shelagh Fogarty’s show earlier this year just to try and get myself and my mental health blog better known. Meanwhile, as The Beatles said "I feel fine!"
Still, now is a good time to worry about what I can control. I have an appointment with my Psychologist this week and plans a plenty for a new career in case this media work doesn't quite pan out.
"I know you don't want this to go on any longer but please keep having a crack at it, and one day you will be glad that you did"
I guess there is hope. Which neatly leads me onto thanking everyone who has retweeted my blog, or tweeted and commented with their support. It means so much and I realise that I am not as alone and life is not as futile as my illness would have it seem. So thank you xx
Meanwhile my sister is 13 next week. Oh my god... What do I get her?
Don't forget to tune into my radio show each Thursday. Music and mental health on SouthWaves Radio. I'm on air every Thursday from 8pm
In the meantime, I emplore you to have a look at my Facebook page: facebook.com/mattstreuli.uk
my mum died when I was 13. she was an alcoholic. I'm now 26, I have #bpd and a suicide survivor. #imnotashamed— Matthew E Streuli (@mattstreuli) February 15, 2016
I love you all xx