I am writing to express
my confusion.
I bought a bottle of
Ribena’s new Pineapple & Passion Fruit juice drink which I would like to
say that on the whole was very nice.
However, the bottle is
labelled as such:
“We’re sure you’re
going to love the refreshingly intense fruity flavour of this new exotic juice
drink” – You are right. I did enjoy it very much.
“Take one sip and
find yourself instantly transported to a tropical island paradise” – Much to my
dismay I was not.
I hurried from the
Shell petrol station, just off the North Orbital Road in Denham, back to my
desk. On one hand the drink which is “Rich in Vitamin C” would help combat my cold
which has been really annoying me this week. On the other hand I would much
rather be in a “tropical island paradise” than stuck at my desk with my life
slowly ticking away.
After a sip, I
opened my eyes to see my computer screen
still there glaring back at me. Thinking that perhaps my ‘larger frame’ might
require more transportation power than the ‘one sip’ the test subjects
required. So, I glugged back the entire bottle. And waited.
It has now been 30 minutes
and apart from a visit to the toilets I have not been transported anyway. Let
alone a paradise tropical or otherwise.
That being said I
did like your drink very much. Perhaps you could provide me with the exact
amount or process required to reach the aforementioned paradise.
With Regards,
Matt Literally.
