Showing posts with label debate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label debate. Show all posts

Push through Anxiety or You'll Seize Up

RuPaul quite rightly says “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else”. That same love can be applied to care and support; if you don’t help yourself, how the hell can you help anyone else?

Arthritis can be an incredibly painful condition and those who suffer from it should be admired. They push through the pain using coping strategies and medication because if you don’t mobilise those joints, they could seize up and the pain would be worse. In short, use it or you’ll lose it. Anxiety is a similar beast.  Anxiety wants to isolate you. It wants to clamp you down. It wants to shut you up.
There are days where it is exhausting just to open the curtains. There are days you can get to the local shops and back.  But whether it is agony in your knee or a burden on your mind, you have to try. 
The CDC (a department of the US government) encourages those with arthritis to take up their SMART challenge. I think the same can be applied to Anxiety and mental health in general.
Start low, go slow.
Modify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active.
Activities should be “joint friendly.”
Recognize safe places and ways to be active.
Talk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist.

"To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on."- Dave Pelzer

Start low, go slow.
Find an activity you can dip in and out of. Maybe something you can do for 10 minutes and take a break. Something where you can slowly build up and join in gradually.. Don’t expect to run a 5k on the first day. Consider activities like a walking club, singing for fun club, maybe part of the backstage team at your local drama club or even just volunteering at a care home or school.
Modify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active.
If you all becomes too much (whether joints or pressure on your mental health) you can slip away for a while. If you can run 5k, you might not be able to do it every week. If you can’t run the 5k, do a little run instead. If you feel like going to singing or yoga this week is hard or you are already drained, maybe ask the leader if you can come for the first half and see how it goes. Sometimes the hardest part is getting over the first hurdle and once you are there you have the support and fun you really need.

Activities should be “joint friendly”.
For mental health, perhaps this is open to your interpretation. It might be that joining the local Drama Club provides you with the same ‘escapism’ it gave me or the idea of being on stage isn’t your thing, there are many groups like ‘Men In Sheds’ and ‘Library Games Club’ where you can be part of team taking part in casual activities. There is something to be said though for joining a sports activity and while it wasn’t for me personally, something like Netball or Lawn Bowls could be brilliant for physical and mental health. Being part of a team, a supportive team, can be very rewarding whether you win or lose.
CLICK the image to view full screen
With thanks to the Membership team at Mind, the mental health charity
Recognize safe places and ways to be active
For me this links in with the above activities but this also includes safe places where you can get support. Does you library offer a local drop in service? Is there a local Mind? Some cafes also offer a mental health afternoon. If there isn’t, could a chat with your local Costa manager help set on up? Another aspect of this is where would you go in an emergency? Or a time of crisis?
I really recommend an app called “Hub of Hope” which does a great job of signposting you to local services whether it is in a crisis such as Samaritans or more routine support. They have a website also at:  https://hubofhope.co.uk/

Talk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist
Have you recently spoken with your GP? Have you been referred to a NHS Mental Health services or to a community service?
Many areas now accept self-referral so if you find talking to your GP hard, taking the first step to NHS support can be as simple as filling out a form. There is a long wait in most areas. Sometimes month just to have an assessment appointment before your referral makes it way to the right team. I understand that the long wait puts people off. I completely get the “why bother” feeling especially when you think you are stable. In reality, you might be slowly declining – for anxiety you might be slowly isolating yourself more and more – and it’s so gradual you don’t realise until there is a crisis. Refer yourself at the start and even if it’s only a light level of support … preventative is better than reactive.
I know the above might seem daunting but with mental health, you do have to practise and gently push yourself. If you don’t, it makes it harder to even accept or use the help you can get. 


"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."- Dalai Lama
Thank you for reading my blog – especially if you have followed me on Twitter or liked my Facebook page. A big welcome to all my new readers – your input, opinions and sharing my links is very welcome.

As you can see below, I became a page three model this month as our story went nationwide in the summer edition of Mind’s Membership magazine. It has been lovely to hear your feedback and Mind even sent us a wedding present which is really sweet of them. If you live in Bucks, you might have even seen us in the county newspaper.
CLICK the image to view full screen.
With Thanks to the Bucks Free Press
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We've come far but still men silently suffer suicide

In 1973, security at the BBC took 3 hours to decide whether to let in an invited interview guest for Radio 4's TODAY programme who, as a patient himself, was founding a union for mental health patients. In 1974 the US Civil Service finally backed down and removed the question "Have you ever been mentally ill?" from Government employment forms. Only a few years earlier had the fearsome US mental institutions we now picture in nightmares had started to close after a court had ruled it was unjust to make inmates patients work for free. With the economic issues in the UK, institutes were closed but this was abandoning and leaving people without the education or just simply too ill to survive or thrive in Thatcher's Britain.
A 1970s Office at the Cambridge Museum of Computing

Poor +ashens -  Click for full screen!
It took 66 years from the first powered flight to humanity landing on the moon. The pace of advancement is amazing. In 1976 the Queen sent her first email. A few years later the Commodore PET appears with an amazing 8KB of memory. Here we are 40 years later and I'm typing this blog on a laptop which is smaller, lighter, half the price (ignoring inflation) with 8GB of RAM. In 40 years humanity's advancement means my computer is cheaper and has a mind boggling 1,048,576 times the memory. Our advancement also means I get several hundred more emails a week than Queenie did in 1976 with over 70% of them landing in my spam folder for their 'unique' content.

In 2015, more than half the ambulance call-outs to York university students are for self harm. Tabloids no longer shout about teenage pregnancy rates but instead that more teens are self-harming than ever before. In my last post I explained how some unfair and extremely rude behaviour nearly pulled down all my progress in my own EUPD/BPD battles.
"It’s morally repugnant to neglect mental health, but it is also economically stupid, with its cost to the economy. The fact is, we’re not smart on how we spend money. We spend a fortune, rather than preventing it at the start.” - Norman Lamb MP
Click images to view full screen
Over the past decade, the trend has become more and more pronounced; more young men are dying by than own hand than through drugs, traffic accidents or heart disease. For UK women, suicide rates dropped over the 1960s and into the 1970's and have stayed steadily low even dropping slightly lower. Suicide rates for UK men slightly dropped in the 1970s, partially credited due to cleaner engine exhausts, but steadily grew since creating the large gap between men and women. According to the World Health Organisation data, UK women have their lowest suicide rate ever whilst our men have shown little improvement compared to 40 or even 60 years ago.

More young men are dying by than own hand than through drugs, traffic accidents or heart disease.

In other news... we now have two cats! Video below!
Why is there a gap? How has the fight become so lopsided?
 Or are Women just better when it comes to mental health or the stress of our modern world than men?
Are they better are confronting it, handling it and as such discussing it?
“in the medical community, you would never deny a diabetic his insulin.” - Kristen Bell, Actress who plays Princess Anna in Frozen and has Depression and Anxiety.
Join @bluesmudge and
@mattstreuli on twitter
I simply have no idea. I just know we need to do more. Please use this chance to flick back through the past weeks of my blog; you can see the most viewed articles in the left-hand sidebar which feature my own battles with depression, self-harm, anxiety, workplace discrimination, speaking in the media and public and being diagnosed with a mental health illness. Would my story been drastically different if I didn't have a penis? Or is it just that society may of treated me slightly differently and I may have been more willing to seek help sooner? I read the blogs and watch the vlogs of fellow mental health advocates (such as Laura's vlog below), sometimes with some envy at how well they can express and articulate their feelings, story and situation. My GCSEs and A Levels tell me that I am a smart enough person but is there something in my male nature or my nurture that prevents me and my fellow men from achieving the same? Or do we not generate the same response from the media or public? Is this discussion sexist for suggesting that women are better at emotional regulation or discussing and resolving mental health issues than men? I don't mean to cause offense but the evidence is all repeated in stats and graphs all over my blog.

PLEASE Comment here or on my facebook page with your thoughts.
Is now the time for local "Time to Change" action groups to just simply highlight the matter and signpost the options for everyone? Including the silently suicidal men?


Just before I go, thank you to everyone who has clicked DONATE below - every penny really helps. As you may of seen from my social media, links below, I have my first professional feature-length acting role and I'm excited to share it with you. You can see more here: DOGGED 

paypal.me/mattstreuli

 
A video posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on


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Theresa May in The Crisis From Our Minds

It may sound like a "B" list movie from the 1950's but Mrs May is our next Prime Minister and whilst every other blog is pondering how she will face Brexit or the Tax dodging of whichever evil corporation we despise this season, I'm curious how she will face the mental health crisis.

In essence, do we have reason to hope things can get better?

Her work history is actually quite impressive. She has served in several Cabinets (the main operating committee of the Government) and Shadow Cabinets (the main opposition's version). At one point she was Chair of the Conservative Party and described as a one-nation liberal conservative. Aside from her work as Minister for Women and Equality and is now the longest serving Home Secretary in UK history. To compare our Government to a real-world business, this means she has been a senior executive who actually does the work the CEO boasts about at your annual conference. If I'm starting to sound rather Pro-May its because I'm slowly convincing myself with all the more research I do.
Anne Perkins of The Guardian observed that "she'll be nobody's stooge"
However, actions can speak louder than words and some actions do not reflect well, especially in hindsight.
Perhaps like me, you had forgotten the pet cat? I'm not referring to Larry the Chief Mouser at Downing Street but instead the cat which belonged to a man facing deportation. It brought to attention the quote in the adjacent picture that in summary, this gentlemen was not deported because he owned a cat. This later turned out to be a whisker or two from the truth. Said man was in a real long-term relationship here in the UK and the cat was just one piece of evidence in said tribunal.

Mrs May, through her husband, has links with security firm G4S which also gained some large sub-contracts from HM Government and Police forces during her time as Home Secretary. At one point the Police Federation described her as a 'Bully' with the curious 'unnamed sources' saying she was selling our Police to Serco; however this was after she demanded they make reforms in the wake of scandals such as Stephen Lawrence and cut the extreme high pay for the 'union' leaders out of the tax pocket.

Just a week ago the National Audit Office published a pretty bad report regarding a 'detention centre' called Yarl's Wood. The report criticised  Theresa May’s Home Office and NHS England who gave to Serco and G4S contracts to run Yarl’s Wood’s residential and health services which ‘did not initially meet the needs of the vulnerable population detained there’

AND THERE IS MORE! However, we all have bad stains in our past. I'm assuming you've read some past posts of my blog so you've seen my trials and tribulations to no end! Perhaps I should focus on how far we have come? A survey by Office for National Statistics in 2007 showed that 22% of people surveyed thought that the mentally ill were “a burden on society”. Shocking but in 9 years alot has changed and some of the seeds seem to be from Mrs May.

In 2012, our Prime Minister was the Home Secretary and she widened the laws on Domestic Violence. Previously it had felt rather cold and logical basing justice on physical damage but now "mental torment" is taken into account. Controlling and Bullying may not be physical but is rightly seen to cause harm now in the eyes of the court.
Read my latest Huffington Post article!

In the last few days, Theresa May has promised to put real workers on the boards of big business to ensure they start working for employees and not just shareholders. Given my personal, harrowing experience with workplace discrimination, this comes to me with a massive glimmer of hope.

Over the past year £15 million has been allocated to provide medical care for those in mental health need who previously would of been held in a Police cell. Promising this action in 2014, Theresa said "Most members of the public won’t think of the police in relation to people with mental health needs ... Unless you have done something wrong, or been a victim of crime, you won’t expect to come across a police officer. So imagine what it is like for the thousands of people with mental health problems, learning disabilities or other vulnerabilities who regularly encounter the police" I find it slightly scary to say but true to her word, change is slowly happening. In February this year Mrs May banned Police cells being used as a 'place of safety' for all Under 18s. In 2013 a report found that mental health took up 20% of the Police's time and it actually looks like Mrs May is getting the Police back to fighting crime and us, the patients, into some healthcare situation instead of a cell. Along with Karen Bradly (Minister for Preventing Abuse, Exploitation and Crime) and  Alistair Burt (Minister for Mental Health) the use of Police cells for holding mental health patients is down 50%.between 2011 and 2015.
Too often and for far too long, vulnerable people experiencing a mental health crisis who have committed no crime have found themselves in a police cell because there is nowhere else to go. - Karen Brady MP
This isn't an easy battle to win.

 As a recent survey from the Youth Health Parliament shows, patients are desperate for earlier intervention with more face-to-face help, there is a still an uphill struggle. My own personal struggle reflects the bigger mental health crisis but I think Theresa May has the tools and the willpower to bring real positive change to the face of mental health and the male suicide crisis. I think we have reason to be optimistic...

If you suffer from mental health problems, there's too often not enough help to hand.              - Theresa May MP
Mrs May....
Some children wait 32 weeks for mental health treatment whilst suicide is the biggest killer of men. You might only have a few years but I think this is our best chance to save our lives. It's Time to Change and you can help us do it.

As always thank you for reading and sharing my blog - and even browsing my past posts on my own first hand experience with mental health. Every view and share really helps fight the stigma and spread understanding. xx Below is some of my social media highlights - please enjoy and share :)
Thanks again! Matt xx








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#Stress can mean Death or Success - #MHW2016 #MensHealthWeek

Sometimes I feel an enormous sense of a frustration. It can feel like I'm screaming. I'm not the only one but it can feel few and far between and ineffective to say the least. There was a time when the screams were for cancer. The horrible pain, high death rate and inexplicable stigma; yet everyone knew someone close who was suffering or suffered. Over time, charities along with institutions like the NHS and the HSE (Health and Safety Executive) have rallied the screams and presented a united front line.

So where is that rally call for mental health? Slowly the stigma is being tackled yet in 2016, suicide remains the biggest killer of men aged under 45 and teenage men. Meanwhile, more teenagers are self harming than ever before. Gradually support in schools is improving but still falls far short of basic levels found as standard in the US. If you have been reading my story then you will understand that I found myself trapped in a job as my mental health deteriorated until, 12 months ago, I tried to kill myself. I had been choosing my job over my own health and as we've discussed before, with a unsupportive employer this nearly killed me.

Stress is a key theme this Men's Health Week and sometimes stress can be good. It is perfectly reasonable to feel some stress as you are heading towards a deadline. A prime example for me is the work I've been doing with the Iver Heath Drama Club. For the past 5 months, I've been in charge of the Youth efforts. I've been coordinating with Scenery designers, painters and builders. I've liaised with the director of the Adult team's production. I've enlisted the help of our costume team, make up and tried to help run the box office. I've lead the way on the club's social media. I've done all of this with the help and support of some amazing friends and comrades. I've done all of this on top of actually planning, producing and directing a show with 15 people in it who are mostly aged 7 to 15 and a mixture of abilities and disabilities. I've felt stressed. I've seen some bad rehearsals. Yet when the curtain closed on our first performance to a big applause, I felt a huge wave of achievement. Stress was there to keep pushing me on, ensure I appreciated the task and its burdens and strive for the best I could do. To those fantastic youngsters on the stage and to those behind you, you did me and your club proud.
Life is full of stress but there are many different kinds. For example, did you know an average officer worker is more stressed on a busy commute than a stunt pilot? There are different kinds of stress and while no one can deny a stunt pilot is under pressure, he experiences the stress as a positive adrenalin rush. Where as Mr MiddleManagment's heart is exploding as the traffic again slows to a crawl on the M25. - My Blog on my Pessimism from early June 2016
However, too much stress can also cripple you. You might just be pushing on but physical pain can appear in your back as a sign of your hidden stressful burden. In fact, in 2013 the HSE recorded 9.9 million sick days due to mental health. The biggest culprit of those days was stress.

Sometimes stress can be really short term - building up to a project or a meeting. Sometimes it can go on forever and getting worse along the way - my experience as discussed on this blog is that staff were not replaced and workload steadily increasing and becoming more complicated without adequate support despite asking and getting a Doctor's support for it.

My girlfriend, Blue_Smudge, and I:Click here for our latest unboxing video!
My mental health disability can be a cycle. This means that when I am OK or feeling good, I pressure myself to get as much done as I can and to a high standard. This combines with other stresses in my life, other triggers, and therefore causes my condition to worse. In essence, sometimes we can generate our own stress and particulary so with the stress and stigma of mental health. Sometime I worry what people will perceive, think and feel of me that I struggle to do anything but feel anxiety (stress) over it.

One in four of you will develop a mental health problem. That is odds of 3 to 1. According to the Men's Health Forum it is the same as France or Germany winning the Euro 2016 .
"There are many things we can do to beat stress: exercise, sing, dance, laugh, play or listen to music, paint, write, volunteer, learn something new and lots more. Tell us what you do. Let's talk.
Our message to men: talk about how you beat stress, talk about what causes it. Talk to your mates, talk to your family" - Men's Health Forum
Earlier in the year I visited AWE Burghfield (link here) with Time To Change. This is one of many employers who realise that it is far cheaper, healthier and profitable to prevent serious or long term sickness caused by mental health and stress but early intervention and basic plans of support. We should champion and support these forward thinking supportive employers because far to many of us are being damaged (in terms of mental health) and left on a scrapheap. Left as a burden to the NHS and, if we are 'sick enough' to qualify for some benefits like PIP. 
Search #HelpGBWorkWell on Twitter

 Sometimes I stress about things outside of my control. Sometimes that stress is closer to anxiety. Will I ever be normal? Will I ever go back to having a relatively successful office career with a decent wage? The anxiety and stress of no benefits, little income and my mental health issues slowly bounce from one question to the next with my pessimism saying "Don't Risk It!"  In short, bad stress pins you down and exacerbates any doubts or depression you may have.

I worked in customer service and logistics. We used to say "Manage Expectations". Perhaps its time we all managed our expectations of ourselves and learnt to not only share and support our friends and colleagues who need it but also call out those building the problem stress in the first place.

The first thing you can do is take time to talk about your mental health, especially stress, and find good supportive managers, friends and family. To be that supportive friend too. By reading and sharing blogs and stories like mine, you are fighting the stigma on stress,

My anxiety says I shouldn't risk going into any work but I know most managers and employers want the best from and for you. Do not be afraid to seek professional help, speak to a manager and a GP, if you feel that you are no longer able to manage things on your own. Many people feel reluctant to seek help as they feel that it is an admission of failure. It is part of the reason why it took me so long to even get on the waiting list for NHS help - I kept trying to 'man up'.

It is important to get help as soon as possible so you can begin to get better and stay in work; not end up damaged and unable to work like me. With Suicide being the biggest killer of men, isn't now the time to issue that rally call and unite the fight?

Thank you for reading and sharing my blog. All comments and tweets are welcome xx 

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on
 Click here for my HUFFINGTON POST article: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/matt-streuli/my-amygdala-brought-my-al_b_10435194.html







I'm Matt. I'm 26 and I write a mental health blog and articles for the Huffington Post. I'm also the Chairman and dame of the Iver Heath Drama Club in South Bucks. I host The Matt Streuli Show on Southwaves Radio and live near West London. 
Videos: YouTube.com/MattStreuli
Twitter : @mattstreuli
Tumblr : mattstreuli.tumblr.com/
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Budget Day 2016: Save our NHS. Sack Mr Hunt.

I'm a  blogger with 

Borderline Personality Disorder  

after surviving suicide and stigma,

 a Member of ,

 an adult child of a dead alcoholic,

an amateur Radio DJ, actor and a panto Dame. 

Over the past year I have been brutally honest with my battles with my mind, money and with employment. An element of my battle will of course be my childhood, being the sole carer of an alcoholic mother who then died from it, however all of this was amplified by 21st century life and trying to contend with an ever growing workload. Its no surprise that in the end I snapped. As I've touched upon in past blogs, in June 2015 I tried to kill myself. I held on for three more months until the wheels finally failed and I've been off work ever since.

 Click here for last week's blog 

We live in a country that at times appears to be peeking its head out of the recession. We are the 5th largest economy in the world. In the lead up to the recessions, companies cut back by letting good staff go and trimming services. Over the past couple of years as business started to return, or was found in new ways, agency staff were used as a stop gap or just disposable staff. These corporations are driven by profit so having fewer staff doing more work is perfect. It is perfect for them.

In the UK and the EU there are laws regarding how long people can work without a break or how many hours they must have of rest between shifts. This makes perfect sense because the last thing anyone wants is for a tired pilot to doze off and destroy Croydon or Coventry. Regulated breaks should prevent any lorry drivers from destroying a flyover and bringing the M25 or M62 with the economy reliant on it to a bloody halt. So why is it acceptable to take an overstretched NHS and drag it out even thinner into a forced 24 hour 7 day service. Would you really want an exhausted doctor, working several 12 hour shifts a week, looking after you?
"Junior doctors asked for contract renegotiations four years ago because they felt their current rotas were unsafe, with large rota gaps in the most stressful specialties that provide urgent and emergency care.  Hunt claims the NHS must learn from the airline industry, but no pilot would be allowed to work these rotas, and no airline would ignore the safety concerns of 55,000 pilots"  -  Dr Phil Hammond
Our NHS is the envy of healthcare systems around the world yet rather than supporting a successful yet buckling system we have Jeremy Hunt demoralising our vital NHS workforce, pushing them and therefore NHS services even further with even fewer funds. Staff are under pressure and breaking today - Mr Hunt's threats just crush our NHS even more. Just like my story, NHS staff (especially Junior Doctors) are falling from their mental and physical health because of Hunt's reign. Campaigns like MIND's #TakeOffTheTape encourage us all to fight stigma and openly talk about about minds and mental health; what is the point if there is nothing left of the NHS to support us?

We live in a country where more teenagers are self-harming than ever. We live in a country where the biggest killer of men is not guns, cars or cancer but suicide (men under 50, ONS). In the US, more people die from suicide than murder. Whilst UK suicide rates for women has hovered around the 5 per 100,000 figure, the male rate continues to climb from 17.4 per 100,000 in 2006 to 19 men per 100,000 in 2013. In short in the UK, one person ends their own life every TWO hours.
Click here to read my article about how
the NHS helped me survive suicide

How can we expect the NHS to save us and help solve our current mental health crisis when it is limping along with knackered ill staff?

Today is Budget Day. Rather than pledging more money in targeted ways to help combat those frightening statistics, encourage more people into healthcare and programmes to encourage mental and physical health well being (especially by employers) the theme seems to be more cuts like those big corporations chasing profitability.

In the end of 2015 I applied for support from welfare system. Personal Independence Payment, which replaced Disability Living Allowance. As I've covered in my articles for Huffington Post before, my condition is covered as a disability under the Equality Act, yet I am seeing people which variations of my condition and situation be refused that support. My income at the time of hitting publish is zero. The little I am asking for in support is to help me cover my mortgage and help me survive so I can keep up my fight and find some work in between. Last week I had my physical assessment which was purely to reiterate what my NHS GP and my NHS psychologists have told them but I am scared that despite paying my fair share into the system, I will get no support out. Something which regular readers of my blog who have seen my anxiety and debt grow, know is terrifying prospect.

Lib Dem leader Tim Farron said that Mr Hunt was "running the NHS into the ground". This week a Select Committee heard how NHS England is facing a £22bn black hole with a reliance on agency staff. According to Ipsos Mori, over 65% of the British public, including myself, continue to support a Junior Doctors strike. That is a vote of no confidence in Jeremy Hunt.

Dr Mark Porter of the British Medical Association said  Wednesday’s budget should be used to stop the NHS heading to “financial ruin”.

Is it my mental illness or am I seeing a pattern? Tampons are still taxed as non-essential yet spare aviation parts are VAT free. Around £3bn contracts for NHS services are now in private sector and just last week this Conservative government forced through a cut to cripple those with disabilities who need benefit support the most.

Whichever voting booth you have the chance to attend, I beg you consider this blog post (and have a look at my past too!). Please ensure your vote is for a council, MP and ultimately a Government who will support our NHS and therefore support us, the people, in our mental and physical health as we try to combat our suicide crisis. Your MP and your council work for you, elected by you, yet given the corporate behaviour we've seen I am petrified they forget this.

Organisations such as #ZeroSuicide think that if we all work together we can prevent every suicide, reducing the rate to zero. The people of our isle are not cheap nor are we disposable. We work hard and are proud of an NHS which does an amazing job to catch us when we fall and therefore keeps our economy in better position for it. When staff are stretch to breaking point, overworked and uncared for, the NHS and what remains of our welfare system tries to hold us but why aren't those responsible, big corporations and Mr Hunt himself, paying for the damage they cause? If we want to keep saving lives and save more, in terms of the suicide crisis but mental health and physical health as a whole, then we need to fight, support our Junior Doctors and save our NHS.

George, David and Jeremy... This is your chance to win the hearts and minds of the British public but also save the NHS and save lives - including mine.

_____________________________________________________
Thank you for reading and sharing my blog as always. It was a bit of a ranty essay this week but it really does worry me that the NHS which keeps me functioning is being destroyed and dismantled and it isn't for the benefit of the common man; unless the common man owns billion dollar healthcare companies!

 Last week I did have my PIP assessment which went quite well. As I've mentioned before, a huge thank you to my friends and family who have kept me going these past few months and hopefully with the few different projects on the horizon; there is hope. Meanwhile, I end on a song.

 Thank you for reading - please to have a browse of the past few posts and remember to share my blog and website on your social media. Ly xx







Check out more quotes on my #mentalhealth blog : mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk
Posted by MattStreuli.uk - Mental Health Aware on Friday, 11 March 2016


A video posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on




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My Undiscovered Country

It's over. J'ai fini. Aside from some dotting an I or two the situation has come to an end by mutual consent. Bar that, I am now unemployed and feel so much better. If you are new to my blog, I imagine you are looking rather confused; fear not and click here for a summary on my website and read back through key blog posts.
"I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life."
- George Burns

Re-reading my post from last week the anxiety oozes out and before the 'situation ended' it could only growing.  I am incredibly lucky to have friends and family around me who have bailed me out of a tricky situation. My almost empty fridge and freezer refilled and enough money to keep the credit cards and direct debits getting worse. A big weight is lifted. I hate owing people.

Last week I mentioned how uncaring my GP seemed but I wanted to mention how caring and positive my psychologist has been. His attitude has helped ease my anxiety. It is easy to say 'worry about what you can change' but leaving his sessions with that mindset and most recently it has been seize the moment. As such, I've learnt two (kinda 3) chords on a ukuele and I've watched every episode of Star Trek Deep Space Nine, and the original Star Trek Movies.

So what of this future? What is to come? Aside from the new YouTube video?



I have applied for two jobs and got through the initial stages. I'm hoping they are compatible but otherwise I should get at least one. That aside, once I am over this cold/flu which has been hanging over me, probably a side effect from my depression and anxiety, I have a new target in my life. On Friday I received the email confirming that I am a member of UK's Youth Health Parliament. The organisation which is partly funded and organised by Google and Imperial College London. 50 young people from inside and outside the NHS and healthcare system will meet throughout 2016 with a view of making policies and changes to Young People's health. This is an amazing opportunity to make a positive contribution to mental health but also to network and further my career, which in turn can only lead to more contributions. Alongside that, the number of twitter followers and Facebook likes on my page is still growing. That little devil I spoke of last week, the one who endorsed suicide as a final victory, has for now gone to rest.

Long term there could be some questions but today, I prepare for my PIP assessment (SCARY as I desperately need support) and keep working on the drama club's summer shows.

Thank you for all your support and love xx


"It's about the future, Madame Chancellor. Some people think the future means the end of history. Well, we haven't run out of history quite yet. Your father called the future - "the undiscovered country". People can be very frightened of change."  
- Captain James T. Kirk, Star Trek VI 




BREAKING NEWS :I am very excited to announce that I have been asked to join the Youth Health Parliament 2016 ! Find out more at www.youthhealthparliament.com #mentalhealth #blogger
Posted by MattStreuli.uk - Mental Health Aware on Friday, 4 March 2016
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The Mental Health Fight & Unboxing a Little Box of Distractions

Four months ago, I tried to kill myself. The main cause was stress and workload at work, since we had lost several members of staff without them being replaced, but the trigger was an incident at work where I defended someone I 'saw' as vulnerable but I came under attack. Without consciously knowing it, I needed to look after that vulnerable person just as I was the sole carer for my Mother between the ages of 8 and 13. She died when I was 13 from alcoholism. My 'damaged' hardware and software of my mind crashed. Once I returned to work, I volunteered my NHS assessments to my employer, saw their appointed Doctor who gave them a list of adjustments (which they only followed one of) and I agreed to be more open rather than bottle things up. I did. We all did.
I lasted just over 3 months. The trigger was when I brought something to the attention of my senior Manager and challenged him, just like we are always being told to. I told him he had offended some of the staff and he replied with "I don't care". It set off the same cascade failure we had seen a few months earlier except this time, I asked for help. When I told that same manager I had been signed off due to work he replied "No one else has a problem." He even tried to convince me to resign. I've seen GPs, my psychologists, I've spoken with solicitors and legal teams at Citizens Advice Bureau and ACAS as well as the fantastic team at MIND, the mental health charity. He discriminated against me, I assume because of my health condition, and tried to constructively dismiss me. I went straight to HR.

I self harmed because of him.  They knowingly exacerbated my condition.

On Monday, after some postponement, I have my first meeting with HR. If I didn't ask for help, this meeting could be taking place at an inquest in front of the press and a coroner. If I didn't ask for help they would have my blood on their hands.

I summarise my story because some of you are new to my blog. I have proactively removed any evidence of who I work for from my website and social media and I have never mentioned it here or in my interviews with the press. I want to tell my story but I do not wish for the negligent behaviour of a man to damage such a fantastic company I would work for but, I make clear, I would rather KILL MYSELF, then work in that department again or for that man again.

Such a meeting is playing on my mind. I went on a midnight walk last night to try and clear it. Will they be reasonable? Will they care about me? Will they be concerned for the welfare of those at work, working Saturdays to try and keep up? Will they want me to back in a different division?

Even though I am so much better than I was four months ago when I tried to kill myself, and better than I was a month ago when I first asked for help, my anxiety has returned and I am scared for my future. How will I pay my credit cards? My mortgage? It would be great if I could do more interviews like the one for LBC last week and fill my life with the little volunteer projects for the local Police and even this blog, but how will that feed or water me?

One way of helping people with mental health, especially those in a difficult place or an unhealthy frame of mind, is a box of distractions. Kerry Elliot is running a scheme where those who need the box can get one for free or a small donation. The scheme is crowdfunded. It is a brilliant idea and is really helping me at the moment, taking myself away from some of the more destructive thoughts. A video review is down below but boxes like this are really helping. I wonder whether a monthly box, like lootcrate, would work. I'm quite interested to use some of them and as you will see from the video, my cat Punch likes them too.

I have so much going for me. Hopefully you'll agree my interview on LBC went really well and maybe they will give me the leg up to do more media things. My radio show has a steady amount of listeners and my blog gets steadily more popular. The pantomime is coming really well and for the first time in a couple of years, I'm not being all negative and hateful towards it, an apparent side effect of work. I'm fighting. Fighting not to let them kill me. Fighting not to overthink. Fighting not to fail. Fighting for what is right and just. Fighting so that people with mental health are not locked away or left for dead. Fighting to survive and so that others survive too. Fighting to help others, and not hurt them.

I can see all of this on a loop. I'm going to open up that box and distract myself. I have to try.








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