tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14875260385668981502024-03-14T05:46:26.851+00:00Matt StreuliI'm Matt Streuli, I'm a mental health advocate, an actor and I work for the NHS. This is my #mentalhealth blog.
I survived suicide and I am the 'adult child' of an alcoholic. I have appeared on Sky News, BBC News, talkRadio, LBC, The Guardian and The Huffington Post.MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.comBlogger146125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-11098051801086002132021-07-23T09:31:00.003+01:002021-07-23T09:33:34.019+01:00What's in your Stress Container?I can't remember the last time I cried. I remember crying at my Mum's funeral. I'm sure I've cried since then - 18 years have passed after all!<div> <br />I've recently told people that my tolerance is lower than it was than before I became a father a couple of months ago. Stress and disrupted sleep will do that. An NHS colleague described the last few months as being dumped on continuously. It does feel like that. There are days you are scrambling to keep near the top and other days you are peering like a Meerkat awaiting the next disaster.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent.fedi1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/202407145_10158239221852525_2730234554006312756_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=0debeb&_nc_ohc=qXJdxhFLcZEAX-4ym0Q&_nc_ht=scontent.fedi1-1.fna&oh=2d06b0ddb93cc2b04f6fb288e6faf457&oe=6121E993" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="559" data-original-width="800" height="140" src="https://scontent.fedi1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/202407145_10158239221852525_2730234554006312756_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=0debeb&_nc_ohc=qXJdxhFLcZEAX-4ym0Q&_nc_ht=scontent.fedi1-1.fna&oh=2d06b0ddb93cc2b04f6fb288e6faf457&oe=6121E993" width="200" /></a></div><br /> <br />No one is ever fully prepared for being a parent. There are quirks and phases, some last hours and others last months. There's pressure and people who know best even though it's been out of medical practice for almost 10 years. <br /><br />All that being said, I wouldn't change a thing. I love my wife and I love my Son.<br /><br />To any prospective parents reading this, take some time and spare capacity in your life and your mind. Be ready to ask for help and say 'No'. Be ready to do what is best for you and your clan. And when you think you have enough spare time and energy, make some more. You have a partner to support too and that had its own pressures, concerns, and rewards.<br /><br />I've been so lucky to have work - so I'm not being a parent 24/7. You don't appreciate how much strain Mum is under because you are in a different mindset - stressed at work. I'm working full time in the NHS in addition to working self-employed and so recently felt very aggravated when someone suggested I do even more work - unpaid. I do quite a lot of volunteering as it is and when someone tries to take those tiny moments you have to enjoy family time, it's infuriating.<br /><br />This brings me back to the feeling like I need a cry. Crying is OK. I sometimes feel like I need a good cry to let it out but for whatever reason, I can't. I've never found crying easy.<br /><br />Everyone has a stress container. They are different shapes and fill at different rates. The pressures in my life and the dates in my diary are different to yours and this is reflected in the way we hold and manage our stress. This is something we discuss during the Mental Health First Aid course by MHFA England which I teach -<a href="http://www.mentalhealthmatt.co.uk" target="_blank"> details here</a>. Something you find easy can fill someone else's stress container. When the bucket is full, it bulges and bursts with stress until we snap. We lash out, we snap, we cry. The expression "the straw which broke the camel's back" is great example of when something you might normally see as minor can be the event that buckles your bucket.<br /><br />If you'd like to know more, then please consider becoming a mental health first aider. There are some good short courses out there for introduction, but I would strongly recommend an accredited course like the 2 Day course by St John's Ambulance or the 2 Day Online course I teach by MHFA England. Being a Mental Health First Aider helps you better support yourself, your staff and your customers in the same way a physical first aider does. It helps teach you to support and react in general everyday occurrences as well as big crisis - just as physical first aid supports you to use a plaster or to do CPR. In fact global company Deloitte published studies showing a positive case for employers investing in mental health, with an average return of £5 for every £1 spent.<br /><br />Find out more about Mental Health First Aid at <a href="http://www.mentalhealthmatt.co.uk/">www.mentalhealthmatt.co.uk</a></div><div><br /></div><div><br />
<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CRI0qHRrhPd/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-radius: 3px; border: 0px; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5) 0px 0px 1px 0px, rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.15) 0px 1px 10px 0px; margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0px; width: calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding: 16px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CRI0qHRrhPd/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 0; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank"> <div style="align-items: center; display: flex; flex-direction: row;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; 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line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0px 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CRAKcuNIhKP/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli)</a></p></div></blockquote> <script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>
</div>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Slough, UK51.510538399999987 -0.5950405999999999223.200304563821142 -35.7512906 79.82077223617884 34.5612094tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-45341380687466093652021-03-15T21:09:00.000+00:002021-03-15T21:09:09.094+00:00No one has committed suicide in England or Wales since 1961<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">It may seem like the most clickbait of titles but I can
assure it is 100% true. Since Summer 1961 not a single person has committed
suicide. Yet in 2019 5,691 people took their own lives.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">According to statistics from 2016, the United Kingdom is 109<sup>th</sup>
in the World Health Organisation’s rankings of suicide figures out of 189
nations. Records from the Office for National Statistics show that between 1981
and 2019 a staggering 200,711 people ended their own lives. On average, 75%
were male. [1]<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Mental ill health is responsible for 72 million working days
lost and costs £34.9 billion each year. <sup>[2] </sup>I’ve even spoken about <a href="file:///C:/Users/matth/Downloads/People%20with%20mental%20illness%20are%20much%20more%20often%20the%20victims%20of%20violence%20rather%20than%20the%20perpetrators">my
own mental health and how I survived suicide</a> on national TV.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrh08-R7UqgJOCJPD3AwGcj8NPaIMKKI5Bm-VRJ5X8HIi6sxtQahZqvfMrx3ppLE5RJcoNBnqBticfhpGnmEkLPZ4V1ae0kPbBIO9nm7a5T8LeFvgsv_rxU_VkhYX31SHy8f1tw8vDbL8/s4032/20201220_145443.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1908" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrh08-R7UqgJOCJPD3AwGcj8NPaIMKKI5Bm-VRJ5X8HIi6sxtQahZqvfMrx3ppLE5RJcoNBnqBticfhpGnmEkLPZ4V1ae0kPbBIO9nm7a5T8LeFvgsv_rxU_VkhYX31SHy8f1tw8vDbL8/s320/20201220_145443.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><b><u>Given the horrible records, how can anyone claim that
no one has committed suicide? <br />
</u></b>To answer that question we need to go back to the start - or as close
as we can. In your mind travel back to 967 AD. Edgar the Peaceful, King of
England, has been on the throne for 8 years after the last Viking King flees to
the North. He’s a deeply religious fellow and works closely with Dunstan who
lead the ‘10<sup>th</sup> Century Reformation’ as the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Dunstan himself would later become a Saint. History records that King Edgar
would take a yearly tour of his realm to ensure that his law was being upheld.
History seems to remember him favourably.<b><u><o:p></o:p></u></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">His laws were recorded in Ecclesiastical history in the
Charters of Abingdon Abbey – given his positive connections to the Church and
that generally only ‘men of the cloth’ were literate we can imagine why. It was
a law in 967 – which I’ve been unable to directly find without a paywall – that
King Edgar is perhaps the first to make “self murder” a crime. His law made is
clear that anyone who died from suicide would forfeit their estate and lands to
the feudal lord which made suicide a felony. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Perhaps it was just a way to make money? A few hundred years
later Thomas Aquinas, later a Saint himself, would document his views as
scholar and an authority on religion. He felt that the Christian God had
created humanity in his image as a gift and therefore killing that gift would
be a little bit insulting. The commandments state that “Thou Shalt Not Kill”
and so suicide would be a literal breach of the law handed down by god. [3]<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">It is fascinating how religion and law have become so
entwined. This isn’t unique to English history either. The oldest appears to
date to 1937 BC in Egypt a tale was being told where a man considering suicide is
having a conversation with his soul who fears that suicide will leave the soul
lost where “goodness is rejected everywhere”. [4] <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">With so many cultures and religions angered by the concept,
it became enshrined in law on an almost universal scale. In England and Wales
it was the Church who had this commandment in their law book which overtime
became Common Law. Over the Centuries this has appeared in different ways.
Churches would reject burials and certain rites for those who have taken their
own lives. In Medieval England, tales of secret midnight secret burials,
sometimes at crossroads partly due to the stigma around how the person died.
This stigma of shame, embarrassment and humiliation stirred throughout history
with many people being refused burial rites following suicide into the 20<sup>th</sup>
Century.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">With secret funerals and stigma, entire family members would
vanish from history becoming unspoken gaps. Some people felt embarrassed of
their familial connection whilst others truly believe that suicide was a sign
of demonic possession. The concept of a burial at crossroads seem to stem from
the idea that the passing traffic would somehow prevent those evil spirits
rising from the grave. [5]<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">The fear of mental health and suicide is evident whenever
you hear the world “asylum” something the horror film industry used inadvertently
perpetuating more stigma. In 1914 there were over 100,000 patients in around
120 mental health institutions. The nearest to my home is St Bernard’s Hospital
which was previously known as the Middlesex County Lunatic Asylum. Much of it
still exists albeit as NHS offices and part of Ealing General Hospital. Like
many Asylums, the buildings strike fear looking more like prison than welcoming
treatment facility. When you look at facilities like these, leeching fear and
discrimination into the community, they seem to mirror the historic feelings towards
mental health. It is easy to understand why self-murder was a punitive offence.
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">[5]</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Records show that even in the early 1700s, a coroner’s
inquest would rule around 90% of suicides finding the victim guilty of felo de
se – committing a felony against themselves; suicide. The punishment would be
complete forfeit to the Crown. However as the century passed, beliefs moved
away from evil spirits towards more medical explanations. Juries ruled the
suicides as non compos mentis which meant there was no criminal offence and
would allow a simple Christian burial, often at night.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> [6] </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">First published in 1759, Adam Smith’s The Theory of Moral
Sentiments questions and documents the turning opinion of the times: "<i>If
your situation is upon the whole disagreeable... walk forth by all<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>means. But walk forth without repining;
without murmuring or complaining. Walk forth calm, contented, rejoicing,
returning thanks to the Gods, who from their infinite bounty, have opened the
safe and quiet harbour of death, at all times ready to receive us from the
stormy ocean of human life… </i>"<br />
By 1800 over 97% of suicides were ruled in this non-criminal way, acknowledging
the person’s long term struggle with what we would call mental health and this
continued into the 1900s. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">[7]</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Following the Criminal Justice Act in 1948, probation rather
than imprisonment became the norm. There were exceptions. Edward French plead
guilty to attempted suicide in 1955 and was sentenced to two years imprisonment
because the evidence showed he made a serious sane attempt to end his life. The
data for those trying to take their life, attempted suicide, is rather patchy
prior to the 1960s. "<i>One reason why so many suicidal attempts fail to
reach the ears of the English Police is that it is against medical ethics for a
physician to report them</i>" Glanville Williams said. In the years 1952 to
1956 over 1800 people were sentenced to a probation order while 194 were
imprisoned. The total number of people convicted of an attempted suicide during
this period was 2,922.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> [7]</span> How many others escaped ‘justice’?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">During the Parliamentary Debate for the Suicide Bill in July
1961, the idea of treatment over punishment was endorsed across the political
spectrum. Viscount Kilmuir spoke of “medical or therapeutic” treatment while
the only documented disagreement was on whether the treatment be made
compulsory. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Since the 1950s Asylums, the authoritarian, crumbling and
cruel scheme, transitioned into a more supportive and nurturing care in the
community scheme. I should note that the care in community isn’t perfect and we
are now severely under-resourced when it comes to supporting those who need
inpatient or even ‘day care’ support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">A memo from Norman Brook, a Cabinet Secretary to Harold
Macmillan from 24<sup>th</sup> October 1960 notes that there were believed to
be 30,000 attempted suicides each year with around 600 being prosecuted and
found guilty. “<i>It seems to be the general opinion, both in the medical
profession and in the courts, that these people be better dealt with outside
the criminal law – as the majority already are.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">After a handful of discussions, often unnoticed in a world
occupied with the Cold War, Royal Assent was given at 6:31pm on 3<sup>rd</sup>
August 1961. Within hours a Home Office memo was sent to every Chief Constable
that “<i>it will no longer be an offence to commit suicide</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Suicide rates steadily declined between 1963 and 1975.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> [8] </span>By
the early 1980s, the figures are around 5,700<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> [1]</span>. Rather than decreasing the value
of life, decriminalising suicide decreased the stigma and the rate of suicide by
starting to make care and treatment easier to access.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><b><u>The reason for writing this article is twofold:<br />
</u></b>Firstly, it is an interesting bit of trivia: that no one has committed
suicide since 3<sup>rd</sup> August 1961 because suicide was no longer a crime
anyone could commit. However, the main point is to show and emphasise how
language and our choice of words can have such a profound impact. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Whenever someone uses the phrase ‘commits suicide’, it stirs
up that fear and hatred. It scares people that they will be detained in some
horror film asylum for attempted self-murder rather than being the kindness,
understanding and compassion they deserve and need. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me, ‘commit suicide’ is like nails on a
chalkboard.<br />
<br />
I try to highlight to people that while they are using a common phrase, it is
deeply hurtful and actually causes more harm than good. Some people prefer the
phrase ‘completed suicide’ although I prefer ‘took/ended their own life’.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><b><u>People with mental health issues, thinking about
suicide or not, are not criminals.</u></b><br />
Work by Mind, a leading mental health charity I am proud to be a member of,
shows that people with mental health issues are three times more like to be a
victim of crime than the general population.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> [9]</span> An article from The Lancet in
2020 stated “<i>People with mental illness are much more often the victims of
violence rather than the perpetrators.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It goes onto say “<i>It is clear that cuts in mental health service
expenditure in England in the past decade have led to a reduced quality of
overall care</i>”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Whether you hear it, see it or read it – I ask you remember this
article and challenge it. Just as we would not accept homophobic, racist or
sexist remarks. We all need to politely challenge the discrimination and say <span style="font-size: medium;">“No, No-one
commits suicide”</span>.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5jCcfqyX7-ggUrM_4GzliM9-90dIQ-MMzXgL5VdznXMW19lOs0jVTgtVdocpC4Zb1bfnrn8i7RHv5BFpubS5zjrEmWyErGshn-t5G8cybliexsq5IIQ-JJg4VowjulrnXNCwjAR7dY58/s3968/20210226_172912.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3968" data-original-width="2232" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5jCcfqyX7-ggUrM_4GzliM9-90dIQ-MMzXgL5VdznXMW19lOs0jVTgtVdocpC4Zb1bfnrn8i7RHv5BFpubS5zjrEmWyErGshn-t5G8cybliexsq5IIQ-JJg4VowjulrnXNCwjAR7dY58/s320/20210226_172912.jpg" /></a></i></div><i>Thank you for reading my article. Please feel free to
share it and consider reading some of my other posts.<br />
<a href="http://www.mentalhealthmatt.co.uk/" target="_blank">Matt Streuli</a>
is a mental health writer and Mental Health First Aid Instructor. By day, he is
a Secretary in the NHS. He lives with his Wife, two cats and is expecting his first child this May.</i><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">[1] <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/suicidesintheunitedkingdom/2019registrations">https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/suicidesintheunitedkingdom/2019registrations</a><br /></span></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[2] </span><a href="https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/publications/mental-health-work-business-costs-ten-years" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/publications/mental-health-work-business-costs-ten-years</a><br /><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[3] </span><a href="https://ethicsofsuicide.lib.utah.edu/selections/thomas-aquinas/" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">https://ethicsofsuicide.lib.utah.edu/selections/thomas-aquinas/</a><br /><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[4] </span><a href="https://ethicsofsuicide.lib.utah.edu/category/author/egyptian-didactic-tale/" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">https://ethicsofsuicide.lib.utah.edu/category/author/egyptian-didactic-tale/</a><br /><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[5] Julie Mathias,
“Victorian Attitudes Towards Self-Murder”, Curious Histories (blog on
oldoperatingtheatre.com), November 11th, 2016.<br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[6] </span><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513543/" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513543/</a><br /><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[7] </span><a href="https://etheses.lse.ac.uk/1573/1/U136493.pdf" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">https://etheses.lse.ac.uk/1573/1/U136493.pdf</a><br /><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[8] G. M. G. McClure, Changes
in Suicide in England and Wales 1960-1997, British Journal of Psychiatry.<br /></span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[9] </span><a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-policy-work/victims-of-crime/" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-policy-work/victims-of-crime/</a><br /><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: x-small;">[10] </span><a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(20)30002-5/fulltext" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(20)30002-5/fulltext</a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2pt;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 8pt;"><br /><br /><br />
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p dir="ltr" lang="en">Find out more about my story at <a href="https://t.co/xvikMFGgk4">https://t.co/xvikMFGgk4</a><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/blogger?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#blogger</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/SuicideAwareness?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#SuicideAwareness</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/mentalhealth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#mentalhealth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/mentalhealthawareness?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#mentalhealthawareness</a> <a href="https://t.co/phUBDUuwrJ">pic.twitter.com/phUBDUuwrJ</a></p>— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/1363414418726547456?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 21, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Hardwick cottages, 4 Hardwick Ln, Chertsey KT16 0AD, UK51.3836422 -0.524648951.040737572516662 -1.0739653062499999 51.726546827483332 0.024667506250000026tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-56730079353619652662020-12-04T16:40:00.003+00:002020-12-04T16:40:55.612+00:00Empathy is a Superskill that take time to Recharge<p> On the surface, sympathy seems helpful. The problem with sympathy is that while it acknowledges the hard times someone is facing, it doesn't offer them any support whether be a listening ear or something practical. </p><p>If sympathy is looking into the pit of depression or grief and saying "Sorry", then empathy is climbing in and saying "I'm here for you. We'll get out together".</p><p><span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #2a2a2a; font-size: 16px;"></span></p><blockquote style="font-family: "Open Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">"I think we should talk more about our empathy deficit - the ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes; to see the world through the eyes of those who are different from us - the child who's hungry, the steelworker who's been laid off, the family who lost the entire life they built together when the storm came to town. When you think like this, when you choose to broaden your ambit of concern and empathise with the plight of others, whether they are close friends or distant strangers; it becomes harder not to act; harder not to help."</blockquote><blockquote style="font-family: "Open Sans", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">- Barrack Obama - 2006</blockquote><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuDmPGf3nGelJLHWF171SdAH7NZ95kF65y6hPbzxbC0whntUZyJmVakENILAWmGmWNzvGZeyGLEv5vfhPRp7QGEkrRanl06Lo6hLpTSMvzH-mr1T1nS2PzBu4jS-Qdrrq12GPscxdgwJw/s960/light-2935944_960_720.webp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="678" data-original-width="960" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuDmPGf3nGelJLHWF171SdAH7NZ95kF65y6hPbzxbC0whntUZyJmVakENILAWmGmWNzvGZeyGLEv5vfhPRp7QGEkrRanl06Lo6hLpTSMvzH-mr1T1nS2PzBu4jS-Qdrrq12GPscxdgwJw/s320/light-2935944_960_720.webp" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: inherit;">The problem with sharing someone's pain is that it will drain you. To give you an example, if someone is constantly demanding empathy from you yet dismisses your thoughts and feelings then you don't have the foundation of an equal or healthy friendship or relationship. It is possible to burn out from empathy especially if your job or role involves listening to and support people- whether you are an aid worker, a Doctor, a teacher or a therapist. <br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Interestingly, Scientists have documented empathy in toddlers who showed concern for a parent - yet showing concern for another's wellbeing is often something that has to be taught or reinforced for some older children (and adults!). Empathy is something we can call do but it takes thought and effort to create a real rapport and put yourself into their metaphorical shoes.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'll share with you a problem and see if you can use empathy while reading it. Think about what you would if we were sat next to each other. What could you say to share the problem rather than just observe it and sympathize with it?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">There is a person I want to be part of my life yet the care and concern for this person and their antics can be draining to the point of frustration. Their silence in the communication can make people feel unwanted or perhaps just that they lack the care and energy to bother with anyone but themselves. Maybe they are selfish. An event happened recently, with plenty of warning, that was very important - or maybe I just felt it was important. While others made the effort, this person was no show. This person has missed or avoided or not bothered with several other events in the recent past without a message or post-event apology. A relationship should be two-way but if they don't care or can't be bothered; maybe I can't be bothered anymore either.</span></p><p>If you read that and your internal voice was saying "Oh I'm sorry, there's plenty more fish in the sea"; then you were sympathizing. While your thoughts on other fish/friends are true, it doesn't share the pain and make that connection. If your reply was "I can feel how angry and how sad it feels. I'm here." then you were empathizing. </p><p>It's not easy. Much as it isn't easy to give up and cut loose someone who doesn't give equally to a friendship. Perhaps this part is even harder: you have to make a concerted effort to look after yourself so you can recharge your empathetic battery. If you are worn down and clobbered, then you won't have the emotional gusto to support yourself or give to those friendships and relationships around you.<br /><br />If you'd like to read more on empathy, have a look at this fab article: <a href="https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/EmpathyatWork.htm">https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/EmpathyatWork.htm</a></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></p><p></p>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p dir="ltr" lang="en">Why not start a conversation with a loved one, friend, or colleague this week- ask them how they are doing and offer them that listening ear, should they need it. <br />For information on our <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/MentalHealthFirstAid?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#MentalHealthFirstAid</a> courses visit <a href="https://t.co/xfd4afdAUf">https://t.co/xfd4afdAUf</a> <a href="https://t.co/Axt66ZqFxU">pic.twitter.com/Axt66ZqFxU</a></p>— Mental Health First Aid England (@MHFAEngland) <a href="https://twitter.com/MHFAEngland/status/1333706658858545153?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 1, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-46334944313717440812020-11-25T14:27:00.002+00:002020-11-25T14:27:22.501+00:00My cup doth overflow! Stress Containers at Chateau Streuli<p> The last month or so has flown by. Mrs Streuli and I have moved house and thanks to a very supportive family are about to rent out our little one bed flat. In the meantime, we have some rather good news to share.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga7sPkpjeH7jmCGHF_IHWQF3sL00NfE_Rwg5wg-rIx_YwLwc9uGd87SXdWbQIjofhaSt-W910kVt-cu5a-x9wP-nRtNYBdCblCHB3M24tYkm6sXwpxjtYD5YSntlrS2Q-qQ-8Di6-Ncus/s1467/125440986_10157712770277525_729106607659638744_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1467" data-original-width="993" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga7sPkpjeH7jmCGHF_IHWQF3sL00NfE_Rwg5wg-rIx_YwLwc9uGd87SXdWbQIjofhaSt-W910kVt-cu5a-x9wP-nRtNYBdCblCHB3M24tYkm6sXwpxjtYD5YSntlrS2Q-qQ-8Di6-Ncus/w434-h640/125440986_10157712770277525_729106607659638744_o.jpg" width="434" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Baby Streuli will be coming to cause chaos in May 2021!<br /><br />The anxiety that Lockdown 2, Baby and house move all in the same short time period has been huge. At the same time, we've been working full time and I've been doing a training course to become a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. The nightmares about missing or unfinished homework have returned!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But as we head toward December, I look back at the chaos of those weeks. Is Mrs Streuli safe at work? Are we keeping ourselves safe without shutting out the world?<br /><br />In MHFA (Mental Health First Aid) we talk about Stress Containers. Everyone has a different size and shaped container. What is stressful for one, might be routine for another. Working lots of a night shifts or having a rapidly changing routine is like a stress tank shrinking and bulging. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">At the bottom of your container is a tap. Sometimes that tap can get clogged and the stress keeps piling up until you explode. Other times, you have the safe coping strategies or working skills to keep your tap flowing and your stress manageable. Sometimes just talking it through with someone, like I do with Mrs Streuli, can keep that tap flowing freely. You have the power to unclog your tap. <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div>What useful strategies do you use? Yoga? A jog? Writing? Dancing? Film Night? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Sometimes you can control the flow into your stress containers. Sometimes, life happens all at once.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">One last thing you can do to help other people with their stress containers - is for you be safe this Christmas.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><br /><p></p>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p dir="ltr" lang="en">This Christmas our <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NHS?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#NHS</a> will be under more pressure than any winter before. <br /><br />Please don't put your family at risk. Please don't put your local NHS at risk.<br /><br />Have a quiet Christmas. <br /><br />Our society has done it before. We can do it now.<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Christmas2020?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Christmas2020</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/lockdown?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#lockdown</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/wednesdaythought?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#wednesdaythought</a> <a href="https://t.co/Xc1skWAphR">pic.twitter.com/Xc1skWAphR</a></p>— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/1331579747512573952?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2020</a></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p> <script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>
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font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;"> View this post on Instagram</div></div><div style="padding: 12.5% 0px;"></div> <div style="align-items: center; display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px;"><div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px); width: 12.5px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12.5px; margin-left: 2px; margin-right: 14px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px); width: 12.5px;"></div></div><div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"></div> <div style="border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid rgb(244, 244, 244); border-top: 2px solid transparent; height: 0px; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg); width: 0px;"></div></div><div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="border-right: 8px solid transparent; border-top: 8px solid rgb(244, 244, 244); transform: translateY(16px); width: 0px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; transform: translateY(-4px); width: 16px;"></div> <div style="border-left: 8px solid transparent; border-top: 8px solid rgb(244, 244, 244); height: 0px; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px); width: 0px;"></div></div></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"></div></div></a><p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0px 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CIA1hcGDGHK/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli)</a></p></div></blockquote> <script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-29115845789087350462020-09-01T20:00:00.017+01:002020-09-01T20:00:02.342+01:00Why become a Mental Health First Aider? - Suicide Prevention Month<div class="separator"><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">Making time to take care of yourself can be hard. During lockdown, it felt like life was in a loop of work, home, work, home, work, home. By the time you get home, you just want to crash in front of easy watching TV. I have the same issue with writing my blog. I feel so much better for doing this but it does take time and effort like all self care does.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="660" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiva0LTJ0kW_oMT1FzZjxQnqLRnM5KoSjVU7iRYim8nmmP6FhiiqWxQTwwshwUg1EQVrMPWU9Vb9WTVhFo_8PzVM8XS9hbVWtz8ORI12I2kqd5PzTYv54WpJIKWpztIXCP6HzbRgSY7X0g/w200-h200/mental+health+first+aid.jpg" width="200" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">For many parts of the world September is Suicide Prevention Month however organisations big and small come together with the WHO and the International Association for Suicide Prevention to mark 10th September as World Suicide Prevention Day.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">Globally, over 800,000 suicides are reported and there are many more which either go unreported or don't fit the criteia for suicide in the death certificate of a country. As I type this the Office for National Statistics has released the latest data with headlines following the common theme of "Male Suicide at highest rate in 20 years". </div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">Occasionally I go back through my blog to revisit my posts. They mark how I felt and thought as different stages of my mental health journey but they also indicate how far we have come as a society. One of the posts I am most proud of, conveniently for World Suicide Prevention Day 2016, was written by one of my closest friends and her view of not only my struggles but also of her Grandfather. It is a powerful read you can find<i> <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2016/09/wspd2016-2.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">Stigma was an incredible oppressive force when my mental health was at its worst. I can clearly remember how liberating being suicidal was - I could speak out because I had literally nothing to lose. It was that with the right support from friends, family and the NHS that supported my recovery - something which I'm proud my blog has recorded.Suicide can be a difficult subject to approach but once you cross the threshold with compassion and honesty, its a stigma that seem ridiculous. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Tweet from Prof Appleby: clinician & Gov adviser on suicide" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUJcsZ_Lo39vy3HyJhNdRKky-sd7L8_kahn1sZP5CBCOyc0GpF5sQegFGhLYSDeBwuEcAPerIM2NFehYatmA93STXPoqqoXe274nEZZqP_cDOpAl5vJpzSUv4-_a-ve4OWRbkxEEEjoJM/w199-h320/1598978701000039-0.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Tweet from Prof Appleby: clinician & Gov adviser on suicide prevention & mental health" width="199" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Tweet from Prof Appleby: clinician & Gov adviser on suicide<br /><br /></i></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">Recently, thanks to the NHS Trust I work for, I attended a two day course and qualified as a Mental Health First Aider. Why would any employer want a Mental Health First Aider? It's another cost</div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">In a <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2017/11/MentalHealthSavesBusiness.html" target="_blank">previous post </a>we've discussed the business case for taking the mental health battle head on. In that post we discussed how research by Soma showed the businesses that record and track mental health make up to three times of the profits compared to ignorant competitors. In <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2017/11/MentalHealthSavesBusiness.html" target="_blank"><i>that post</i></a> we also discovered how every 80p of investment in prevention and support for mental health and well-being at work saves £4 in costs whether that is sickness, loss of business or, as my case showed, legal fees. In the end, I argued that with the potential <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2017/11/MentalHealthSavesBusiness.html" target="_blank">saving of £9 billion per year to the UK economy</a>, that businesses big and small couldn't afford not to invest in mental health and well being of their staff and customers. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://mhfastorage.blob.core.windows.net/mhfastoragecontainer/acb91995e5a5e8118151e0071b6670e1/SignsToSpot.gif?sv=2015-07-08&sr=b&sig=tIOu%2Bc%2BND2HT4fbzdre5vc6WU5w74WBlBk7baMmNGr4%3D&se=2020-09-01T19%3A37%3A46Z&sp=r" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="210" src="https://mhfastorage.blob.core.windows.net/mhfastoragecontainer/acb91995e5a5e8118151e0071b6670e1/SignsToSpot.gif?sv=2015-07-08&sr=b&sig=tIOu%2Bc%2BND2HT4fbzdre5vc6WU5w74WBlBk7baMmNGr4%3D&se=2020-09-01T19%3A37%3A46Z&sp=r" width="419" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">The course is written by MHFA England who are working with the aim that by having more and more Mental Health First Aiders in businesses and organisations that stigma can be more routinely battled and that awareness raised more often. It also hopes that earlier intervention can be made for those needing support and prevent staff, friends and family reaching crisis - like I did in 2015.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><div dir="auto">To start with I did have to confront some anxiety. Would this course be upsetting? Would it stir and prevoke feelings I don't want? Would the people there be tolerant of me? </div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><div dir="auto">In hindsight, I shouldn't have worried but anxiety can be pair of concrete boots in the murky canal of life if you are unable to push through with useful healthy coping mechanisms. In my example, I tried to imagine some of the content like icebreakers and discussions of suicide and think about how much I was comfortable to share or say.</div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto">It always amazes me how little is said about mental health and yet, when the tap is opened and that awkward threshold is crossed, everyone has some experience. Whether it is friend, a relative or a patient or customer. When you begin to realise how much mental health has touched every person, you begin to realise how few people will judge you in a negative way. <br /><br />The role of being a Mental Health First Aider isn't to solve every problem or become Counsellor Deanna Troy of your organisation; in the same way your First Aider isn't your organisation's Paramedic or Dr Beverly Crusher. It's more about having someone ready to listen and offer a signpost whether it be to a manager, to ACAS, to a union, to the GP, to a local support group or in times of crisis to the emergency services. The problem doesn't have to be a psychotic episode but it can be. It can be helping someone after a nasty call or offering a calming cup of tea after the loss of a loved one.<br /><br />Helping another person, even if its just listening, can be incredibly rewarding. In fact, you can save a life.<br /><br />If you are interested in becoming a Mental Health First Aider, email your HR department today or have a look at <a href="https://mhfaengland.org/">https://mhfaengland.org/</a></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div></div></div></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><br /><div dir="auto"><br /></div>
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font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;"> View this post on Instagram</div></div><div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"><div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"></div></div><div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)"></div></div><div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style=" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"></div> <div style=" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"></div></div></div></a> <p style=" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B_fgdL2JXm9/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;" target="_blank">A big thank you to #swissembassyuk for the thoughtful and mindful cards in the post. Its really thoughtful and very appreciated. 🇬🇧❤️🇨🇭 #StayHomeSaveLives #weareswissabroad . My Story/MattStreuli.uk Twitter/MattStreuli . #nhsworkers #dualnationality #mentalhealth #connec+</a></p> <p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/matthewstreuli/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px;" target="_blank"> Matthew E Streuli</a> (@matthewstreuli) on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2020-04-27T17:14:08+00:00">Apr 27, 2020 at 10:14am PDT</time></p></div></blockquote> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Wexham St, Slough, UK51.5383842 -0.5754994999999999423.228150363821157 -35.7317495 79.848618036178848 34.5807505tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-64407871702981085532020-05-30T06:16:00.001+01:002020-05-30T06:26:25.383+01:00We Were Pregnant - Dad's Diary <div>
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By our maths, we were around 11 weeks pregnant although speaking to the GP it could be 9-11 weeks. The medical term is "anembryonic pregnancy". In some parts of the world its called a blighted ovum which sounds more like a parasite affecting this year's crop harvest. </div>
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Below is a video Caroline initially wanted to record. She's been upset and hurt but is trying to be pragmatic about the whole experience. Below the video I'll share a bit more my internal monologue. You'll also find links to key resources.<br />
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<b><a href="https://youtu.be/KoWOMf5hTyI">It's good to openly talk and raise awareness</a>.</b></div>
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I was shocked when I found out we were pregnant. We were trying but I knew that it doesn't always happen right away. Some couples try for months or years and then the babies come along like buses.<br />
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We were already making small changes to our lives and Caroline changed her diet too. We started slowly cleaning, decorating and nestling in our flat. In the early days, we felt that it was work that needed doing either way but as the weeks passed we slowly became more and more confident that this was becoming real. In fact over the past couple of weeks we started shopping for maternity wear and buying baby magazines. I started reading books on parenting especially aimed at new dads. Our tracking apps showed the acorn slowly growing from acorn to catapillar.<br />
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It was around Saturday 23rd May that Caroline has spotting. For men like me with little biological knowledge, this is wear tiny drips of blood appear either when your lady wipes herself or on her underwear. Caroline showed me some the tissues and aside from normal discharge (sorry, there isn't a better word!) there was trace samples of blood. Think a drip of red food dye in your bowl of icing.<br />
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A quick Google and text chat with midwife confirmed that it wasn't enough to be bleeding and monitoring it is the best course of action. I was worried but I needed to be a rock for Caroline and reassured myself that I'd had paper cuts produce more blood. I remember thinking that this couldn't be a miscarriage: you'd notice a catapillar and their sac falling out right? </div>
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Over the next few days the volume of blood increases. Still tiny pipette amounts. Again, still being strong yet secretly worried, I found a local private clinic that for a far more reasonable fee than I imagined would give us a reassurance scan the next evening.<br />
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Thursday evening arrived. Caroline's anxiety was through the roof. So was mine but again I had to be strong. Being 'the strong one' is something we seem to take in turns. Life can really wear you down. </div>
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They do an external and internal scan. To my eyes, it's the 1960's opening credits to Doctor Who. We had spoken about the worst case scenario. If I'm prepared for worst case scenario then anything else is an improvement. Right? Maybe not this time.<br />
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The sac is there but it's empty. They write a report and offer their sympathies before taking payment. As I mentioned in the video, it's not the outcome we wanted but it is the best £59 we've ever spent. Due to Covid19, I would be unable to attend any NHS scans. The thought of Caroline finding out by herself, alone, is horrific.<br />
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That night we spoke directly with my parents - knowing Caroline's parents would likely be in bed. In the space of a hour or so, Caroline went from being upset into angry into pragmatic. Eventually she became hopeful. Looking back, I was still being strong. I was in my old habits of emergency mode.<br />
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Some of info online has been rather 'it's bad luck, try again' which I feel I was woefully prepared for. I am little taken back how many couples have been 'unlucky' but felt they couldn't or shouldn't share their story.<br />
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We woke up positive on Friday 29th May. I'd done some research the previous night before bed while Caroline woke up early. We both agreed that many couples go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies and that maybe this time wasn't meant to be. It was the test run the body needs to get ready. By lunchtime, the spotting was increased and the occasional clot appeared. By early afternoon Caroline was on the Early Pregnancy Ward of Wexham Park due to the pain. She described the cramping as in waves and the level of pain being slightly more than her normal periods. I knew she was in pain and I could see it was worse than she was letting on. The lovely staff reassured her that the pain and cramping is OK. She is signed off work but will take it easy while her body resets. The current plan is to allow her body to expell the sac like some horrible mega period. </div>
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Total respect for women. I couldn't do this so easily.<br />
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It was Friday night when it hit me. I felt really low and sad. I think it was the first time I had actually sat still long enough for the words I'd been saying to become reality in my head. No baby. Not now anyway.<br />
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As the video was shared online - and please feel free to share my post too - friends and family reached out to us either in public or private. I still can't believe how many couples just go through similar events and feel they couldn't or shouldn't share it. I feel angry they had to be silent. It sad that their catapillar is negative quiet memory.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Even though our catapillers didn't become butterflies they were still part of our lives</span>.</b><br />
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Caroline is in a fair amount of pain but has some time off to reset - body and mind. She can also have alcohol for the first time in a few months!</div>
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I'm OK. Now I'm able to sit down at home and think, I'm not as pragmatic as Caroline is right now. But there is a next time. </div>
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<b>It's good to openly talk and raise awareness. </b><br />
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<a href="https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/charity-research/pregnancy-statistics/miscarriage">https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/charity-research/pregnancy-statistics/miscarriage</a><br />
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https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/<br />
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https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/expert-answers/blighted-ovum/faq-20057783<br />
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<i>Thank you for your love and support. <br />
My Story/MattStreuli.uk </i></div>
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<i>Twitter/@mattstreuli</i></div>
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<i>Istagram/MatthewStreuli</i></div>
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<i>YouTube/MattStreuli </i><br />
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Thank you to the staff at the private clinic, Caroline's GP and our colleagues at Wexham Park Hospital.</div>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-36069691422315237682020-05-01T04:35:00.001+01:002020-05-01T04:35:20.110+01:00Mayday My mind has been racing. Stuck in a loop for over an hour now. Despite my best efforts to clear it through mindfulness and controlled breathing, I'm just drawn back to the same loop. Stuck on anxiety and fear. <div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>I've laid here for over an hour trying to focus on my inhale and gently letting go with the exhale only to find myself draw to the points below. <br><div><br></div><div>My first concern is my wife. Today is our 4 year anniversary of when we started dating. Most years we celebrate this with a trip to Brighton where our relationship officially started - a trip down the peir is better than celebrating in the pub of our first date. I can't go into every detail but I am concerned for her welfare and safety. Due to the medications she takes, she is more at risk than I am from this blasted Coronavirus Covid19. She too works for the NHS however her location is far more central in the hospital compared to the wooden outbuilding I call home. There isn't much I can do but over the next few weeks maybe it is something we can address together for some reasonable adjustments to limit her exposure and risk. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>My Nan died at the start of April. My nan was a key role in my upbringing and for many years was the only reliable mother figure of my childhood. Much like my cousins, as I grew older I found my own hobbies and spent more time with my now wife. My nan ended up in a home last year and, maybe selfishly, I hadn't seen her since. I felt the last time I saw her, she wasn't 'Nan' any more. Maybe I was just being cowardly but I knew that she didn't know if I was there or not. I don't know how she died and due to conflict and Covid19, I don't think I'll be told. She was a brilliant parent to me and, while I regret I didn't spend more time with her over the last few months, I cherish the fun weekends we had together. </div><div><br></div><div>One of the key themes stuck in my head is my own work. Covid19 has stripped us of the ability to be with our closest friends and family which is key way to recentre and refresh ourselves. I have wondered if I have been becoming 'short fused'. Maybe with the pressure we all are. Work has changed as we've moved far from normality. In some ways the work has massively decreased but only to grow elsewhere. To paraphrase an email I sent a few weeks ago: it is a challenge but we will rise to it. The angry voice in my head is aware that some areas (not just NHS) have more support (maybe unjustifiably) and have been able to cope and adjust with more ease. Currently, I'm doing two jobs and my own self doubt questions if I'm doing either well. Why do they get better resources than us? </div><div>The hesitant voice in my head can't help but hope that everyone who is clapping now, remembers the efforts of everyone in the NHS and the public sector when they next stand at the ballot box. I wonder how many deaths were caused by the poor funding, the do more with less attitude that has screwed over too many key workers, over the past decade. </div><div><br></div><div>Either way, it will take months to recover to any normality after the pandemic is over. Please remember this when you next call your GP Surgery or hospital and expect to be seen 'lickity split'. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div>Perhaps I should focus on the positives. At least I am able to go to work, interact with different people and focus on projects. I'd like to be able to work from home a bjt but who knows. I have a very strong and supportive wife who makes me laugh and tolerates me when I'm low. </div><div><br></div><div>Since the early days of lockdown we've been streaming games and chat most evenings via <a href="http://www.youtube.com/MattStreuli">YouTube</a>. It's been a nice way to stay in touch with our friends rather than the desolate pings of a Facebook chat. We've met new friends who've stumbled across our stream, enjoyed our content and become part of the team. At the moment we play jackbox but I'd like to find new ways to interact with people. Would you watch a online chat show? </div><div><br></div><div>I hope you are keeping well. Please follow me on the socials to keep up to date with my latest adventures - even if they are more confined than they used to be. </div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.twitter.com/MattStreuli">Twitter/MattStreuli</a> </div><div><a href="http://www.instagram.com/MatthewStreuli">Insta/MatthewStreuli</a> </div><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/MattStreuli">YouTube/MattStreuli</a> </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-37470073627718154782020-03-26T11:15:00.000+00:002020-03-26T11:25:20.946+00:00From my mind: NHS Staff in Isolation #COVID19It's been a long time since I last posted. Life can be very busy and working the NHS can leave you feeling drained. The NHS, like many public services, has been criminally underfunded and gutted by the last few Governments. The current COVID19 crisis will hopefully highlight how vital some of the lowest paid roles are - not just in the NHS - compared to the value of some MPs and their Duck Ponds.<br />
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For the past 6 days, I've been in isolation. For the first couple of days it was a novelty but now I can't help but feel frustrated and useless. I work with a brilliant team of Consultants, Nurses and Admin staff - in my department specifically and around it. Before I left, I had been giving our service 120% and really stressing myself out with the workload of altering appointments to telephone rather than patient facing and the added triage involved. The poor NHS funding doesn't just mean there isn't enough staff - and therefore no flexibility in times of need - but our computer systems and the processes involved are not as streamlined as they could be. The technology exists for me to work from home but, now in a time of crisis, there isn't the resources to roll it out to everyone. Which means I'm sat here, reading work emails, feeling nothing but guilt and anger.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Almost our 1 Year Anniversary! </td></tr>
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I want to roll up my sleeves and get stuck in but it's quicker for those on site to do it themselves than pass on the jigsaw pieces to me via NHS email. When the flood is rushing towards you - its often easier to just crack on and that's exactly how I was feeling a week or so ago when we started to try and get ahead of this curve.<br />
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Another source of irritation is the fact that some people seem to be able to get COVID19 (Coronavirus) testing without symptoms. There are Doctors being taken from clinics and the front line due to a cough. My wife's asthma cough, forced us away from our supportive roles. With testing, we could all be back at work if clear. However, I'm at home for another week becoming further isolated, abashed and in the end, worthless.<br />
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The situation is ever changing but this is a time of crisis. We originally thought this may go on for 3 months but I think it will cripple the NHS for much longer. The recovery back to any sort of normality (such as 18 week target times) will take years if funded properly - which you know they won't be.<br />
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Another niggle in the back of my mind is - I don't think Mrs Streuli and I have had COVID19. I honestly think it was her complicated and severe asthma with allergies. Does this mean we'll have to go through all this again?<br />
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And that's without thinking about the worries everyone has right now: where do I get fresh vegetables? Milk? When will I see my family?<br />
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Last night, I think Mrs Streuli and I both realised that our mental health had taken a battering. Again, another source of guilt and anger is that while I did alot of the prep work for this crisis - I've been sat on my arse useless because we don't have remote access.<br />
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It is the poorest who will be the strongest in this crisis. It is those people who need your love and support and those with the biggest bank balances will face the shame and retribution.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Join the fun - www.youtube.com/MattStreuli</i></td></tr>
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Sometimes, just acknowledging your feelings is enough to refresh and move on to something more constructive.<br />
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Keep an eye on the website of your local hospital and check the Government's official twitter for the latest news. Things we have all taken for granted, even getting loo roll, is changing every day.<br />
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I will not end this post on a low note. I will remain optimistic. If nothing else, I have a pretty good life. Mrs Streuli and I were in San Francisco when the COVID19 virus started to appear. We have taken up streaming games and chat on YouTube. It's actually been something really nice to look forward to - a reward for getting through the day. With the Drama Club closed, for the first time in living memory, we are looking to host a 'pub quiz' through a YouTube Stream. It's free and fun and a great way to socialise from your own sofa. Friends and family of IHDC are invited and everyone is welcome - whether you are near to Iver Heath or hundreds of miles away. Thanks to the internet, we're not so isolated after all.<br />
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Be safe and stay at home.<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B89iz0AlNGC/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">"Global experts tell HSE to address work-related suicide risks" Find out more about Hazards magazine’s campaign to get suicides recorded and harmful employers investigated at www.hazards.org/suicide/suicidenote Find out more about my story at www.MattStreuli.uk Thanks to Mind’s Media Team for their hard work and support. #mentalhealth #blogger #british #work #burnout #suicideprevention #mindfulness #safetyfirst #instagood #follow #depression #selfcare #selfharm #sundaypeople #mind #hazard #workplace #suicide</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/matthewstreuli/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Matthew E Streuli</a> (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2020-02-24T19:37:44+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 24, 2020 at 11:37am PST</time></div>
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<br />MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Slough, UK51.510538399999987 -0.5950405999999999251.431472899999989 -0.75640209999999986 51.589603899999986 -0.43367909999999993tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-36103230261481517662019-08-20T06:30:00.000+01:002019-08-20T06:30:08.346+01:00Push through Anxiety or You'll Seize Up<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">RuPaul quite rightly says “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else”. That same love can be applied to care and support; if you don’t help yourself, how the hell can you help anyone else?<br /></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-8ca0fc99-7fff-856c-05f4-19413d703237"></span><br />
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-8ca0fc99-7fff-856c-05f4-19413d703237"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Arthritis can be an incredibly painful condition and those who suffer from it should be admired. They push through the pain using coping strategies and medication because if you don’t mobilise those joints, they could seize up and the pain would be worse. In short, use it or you’ll lose it. Anxiety is a similar beast.
<i>Anxiety wants to isolate you. It wants to clamp you down. It wants to shut you up.</i></span></span></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-8ca0fc99-7fff-856c-05f4-19413d703237"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are days where it is exhausting just to open the curtains. There are days you can get to the local shops and back. But whether it is agony in your knee or a burden on your mind, you have to try. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyngLNzzgfGZSHw-j2jcSpr5fjNWk4MJjtlsWHe8T8uY-mMPN0-HpyHUm8ZSjG1A0r9ZYsQm2hRZlhL0K2ntJjGb1_wu_Dn7wLFcTdJOvxykpwD-smTDnvnY2GuTUU0-RUKUgZQGp_piE/s1600/brain-962650_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1031" data-original-width="1600" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyngLNzzgfGZSHw-j2jcSpr5fjNWk4MJjtlsWHe8T8uY-mMPN0-HpyHUm8ZSjG1A0r9ZYsQm2hRZlhL0K2ntJjGb1_wu_Dn7wLFcTdJOvxykpwD-smTDnvnY2GuTUU0-RUKUgZQGp_piE/s320/brain-962650_1920.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The CDC (a department of the US government) encourages those with arthritis to take up their SMART challenge. I think the same can be applied to Anxiety and mental health in general.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">S</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">tart low, go slow.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">M</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">odify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ctivities should be “joint friendly.”</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">R</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ecognize safe places and ways to be active.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">T</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">alk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist.</span></i></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; white-space: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: normal;">"To help yourself, you must be yourself. Be the best that you can be. When you make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself up and move on."</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; white-space: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; white-space: normal;"><i>- Dave Pelzer</i></span></span></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Start low, go slow.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Find an activity you can dip in and out of. Maybe something you can do for 10 minutes and take a break. Something where you can slowly build up and join in gradually.. Don’t expect to run a 5k on the first day. Consider activities like a walking club, singing for fun club, maybe part of the backstage team at your local drama club or even just volunteering at a care home or school.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Modify activity when symptoms increase, try to stay active</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you all becomes too much (whether joints or pressure on your mental health) you can slip away for a while. If you can run 5k, you might not be able to do it every week. If you can’t run the 5k, do a little run instead. If you feel like going to singing or yoga this week is hard or you are already drained, maybe ask the leader if you can come for the first half and see how it goes. Sometimes the hardest part is getting over the first hurdle and once you are there you have the support and fun you really need.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Activities should be “joint friendly”.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For mental health, perhaps this is open to your interpretation. It might be that joining the local Drama Club provides you with the same ‘escapism’ it gave me or the idea of being on stage isn’t your thing, there are many groups like ‘Men In Sheds’ and ‘Library Games Club’ where you can be part of team taking part in casual activities. There is something to be said though for joining a sports activity and while it wasn’t for me personally, something like Netball or Lawn Bowls could be brilliant for physical and mental health. Being part of a team, a supportive team, can be very rewarding whether you win or lose.</span></div>
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With thanks to the Membership team at<a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/75719.aspx" target="_blank"> Mind, </a>the mental health charity</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Recognize safe places and ways to be active</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For me this links in with the above activities but this also includes safe places where you can get support. Does you library offer a local drop in service? Is there a local Mind? Some cafes also offer a mental health afternoon. If there isn’t, could a chat with your local Costa manager help set on up? Another aspect of this is where would you go in an emergency? Or a time of crisis? </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I really recommend an app called “Hub of Hope” which does a great job of signposting you to local services whether it is in a crisis such as Samaritans or more routine support. They have a website also at: </span><a href="https://hubofhope.co.uk/" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://hubofhope.co.uk/</span></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Talk to a health professional or certified exercise specialist</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Have you recently spoken with your GP? Have you been referred to a NHS Mental Health services or to a community service?</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Many areas now accept self-referral so if you find talking to your GP hard, taking the first step to NHS support can be as simple as filling out a form. There is a long wait in most areas. Sometimes month just to have an assessment appointment before your referral makes it way to the right team. I understand that the long wait puts people off. I completely get the “why bother” feeling especially when you think you are stable. In reality, you might be slowly declining – for anxiety you might be slowly isolating yourself more and more – and it’s so gradual you don’t realise until there is a crisis. Refer yourself at the start and even if it’s only a light level of support … preventative is better than reactive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know the above might seem daunting but with mental health, you do have to practise and gently push yourself. If you don’t, it makes it harder to even accept or use the help you can get. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><i>- Dalai Lama</i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you for reading my blog – especially if you have followed me on Twitter or liked my Facebook page. A big welcome to all my new readers – your input, opinions and sharing my links is very welcome.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As you can see below, I became a page three model this month as our story went nationwide in the summer edition of Mind’s <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/75719.aspx" target="_blank">Membership magazine</a>. It has been lovely to hear your feedback and Mind even sent us a wedding present which is really sweet of them. If you live in Bucks, you might have even seen us in the county <a href="https://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/17827919.matt-shares-traumatic-life-story-courageous-effort-inspire-others/" target="_blank">newspaper</a>.</span><br />
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With Thanks to the <a href="https://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/17827919.matt-shares-traumatic-life-story-courageous-effort-inspire-others/" target="_blank">Bucks Free Press</a></td></tr>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/matthewstreuli/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Matthew E Streuli</a> (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2019-08-02T16:30:19+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Aug 2, 2019 at 9:30am PDT</time></div>
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<script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0119 Peascod St, Windsor SL4 1DW, UK51.481724493584146 -0.6098222441405596351.402689493584148 -0.77118374414055957 51.560759493584143 -0.44846074414055964tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-21178393783775445562019-07-08T17:10:00.000+01:002019-07-08T17:21:19.190+01:00Are you desensitised to Suicide?<div>
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This post has been bouncing around the back of my mind for a while now. It started with a post on a local Facebook group wondering why there had been no news following a suicide at a local train station. Some of the comments were angry – why would there need to be news? What is there to be said? The person making the post was sincere in the reply they didn’t need the gory details but felt that a death like that is shocking moment and there should be some memorial or acknowledgment to the person who has passed.</div>
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Not just some sterile note that services were briefly delayed that day.</div>
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This has been bugging me. At times, I am actually quite furious about this. If the person had been subject to bad Doctor, it would be a shocking newspaper story. If the person had been attacked in the park, the press would have sounded the rallying cry for better policing and in turn better funding.</div>
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So, where is the article and the shock that our mental health system is failing? Where is the rallying call where we bang on the doors of those MPs who feel their duck pond is more worthy than our brothers and sisters?</div>
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<span style="font-family: calibri, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Do we really now live in a world where a Suicide on our railways is no longer a tragedy, but just a delay to the chaos commute? Is that the kind of world you want to live in?</span></span><br />
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In 2016/17, 237 people took their lives on the railway – the lowest number since 2010/11.</blockquote>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://cdn.networkrail.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Small-Talk-Saves-Lives-campaign-life-saving-1-903x500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="443" data-original-width="800" height="353" src="https://cdn.networkrail.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Small-Talk-Saves-Lives-campaign-life-saving-1-903x500.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.networkrail.co.uk/communities/safety-in-the-community/railway-safety-campaigns/suicide-prevention-campaigns/" target="_blank">Small Talk Saves Lives - Click here for the Network Rail campaign</a></td></tr>
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I’ve touched upon this before on <a href="https://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2018/05/stigma-is-scariest-part-of-live.html" target="_blank">my <i>blog</i></a><i>. </i>I remember the revelation when I found out that suicide is and has been the biggest killer of men and teenage men for decades. Mental Health isn’t some new problem. This has been going on for decades. As a society, we took the fight on with TB, Cancer, and AIDS. Where is the anger and revolution to take that social fight to mental health?</div>
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In my own story, I’ve broached how if it was 2019 and not 1999, then safeguarding would have triggered a response by the School, NHS, Police, and Council. Perhaps this will save some of the youngsters from entering the desolate paths that lead to the adult mental health crisis – or at least give them a more stable route with better chances.</div>
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Is suicide so common that we don’t actually care anymore? The World Health Organization says that ”Suicide is a global phenomenon”. Globally, it is the second leading cause of death for 15 to 29-year-olds. Why have we just accepted this?<br />
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Things are changing. Change isn’t always quick. Statistics for 2017 showed that certain suicide rates were down – some even at the lowest recorded.<br />
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<span style="color: #212529; font-family: Noto-Sans, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Suicide is preventable. A short conversation with someone who may be struggling to cope can go a long way, and might even help save a life.</span></blockquote>
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My Mum's boyfriend took his own life in the few months after my Mum's death at a train station. As an adult, I searched his name. Maybe records from 2004 aren't interesting enough for the internet, but the only trace of his existence was as a mark on a chart. A chart showing suicides by train station by year in the UK. He wasn't even a person anymore. Just a statistic. I understand families may want privacy but perhaps local press could publish a celebration or memorial to that person so the wider public feels that the delay to the 08:29 was actually the end of life, not just a nuisance.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQvUTNW0SV7NP0njPtiFtkDMFQhp_hujaihRDT4OeebOrwmTzEIYtGlVR2T90-62U7lFw1eHEjiv5j36RAbgSkgDg0tBkVXG4skDnDXzck1ERQTlefTcI-hUQeDcEtvOuskh0GBtDmJk/s1600/D8NWSmMXoAAAuJT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1502" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiQvUTNW0SV7NP0njPtiFtkDMFQhp_hujaihRDT4OeebOrwmTzEIYtGlVR2T90-62U7lFw1eHEjiv5j36RAbgSkgDg0tBkVXG4skDnDXzck1ERQTlefTcI-hUQeDcEtvOuskh0GBtDmJk/s320/D8NWSmMXoAAAuJT.jpg" width="230" /></a></div>
Talking is one of the biggest ways you can make a difference. Whether it is asking someone, twice, if they are OK or maybe reiterating this article, talking is a key way that you can help save these lives.</div>
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In 2015, I was at my all-time low. I had nothing left to lose so I gave life a chance. We need to help people before it reaches that stage because I’m very lucky I’ve managed to recover to where I am now.<br />
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Find out more about<i> <a href="https://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2019/05/married.html" target="_blank">my story</a></i> in the article I’ve written for Brides Magazine. I’ve also written an article on the Mind website.</div>
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How marriage has helped my mental health; groom Matthew Streuli gives an honest and candid account of his journey: <a href="https://t.co/DXS9LcG49B">https://t.co/DXS9LcG49B</a> <a href="https://t.co/wVFUMfAPYL">pic.twitter.com/wVFUMfAPYL</a></div>
— Bride Magazine (@BrideMag) <a href="https://twitter.com/BrideMag/status/1139115101372506113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2019</a></blockquote>
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We're looking for new members on and off stage! Make new friends. Find a new challenge. We're here every Wednesday at <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/IverHeath?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#IverHeath</a> Village Hall.<br />
Adults & teens welcome! <br />
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Check out <a href="https://t.co/nQDdGugolK">https://t.co/nQDdGugolK</a><br />
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Supported by <a href="https://twitter.com/iverparish?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@iverparish</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/PinewoodStudios?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@PinewoodStudios</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/CommunitiesBCC?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@CommunitiesBCC</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/CSBCommunities?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@CSBCommunities</a> <a href="https://t.co/QZHMsRk9r0">pic.twitter.com/QZHMsRk9r0</a></div>
— Iver Heath DramaClub (@IHDC) <a href="https://twitter.com/IHDC/status/1145705399456292864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 1, 2019</a></blockquote>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-32740006660706828182019-05-09T21:09:00.001+01:002019-05-09T21:15:19.243+01:00We're Married!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgviansie0z4JJjvbykrVFi3gTgwyGC6gmkGffsc2V99CXMecwzG2SHHOCZlO7Rz5zkl0E-Mtv0Qsnyhv0BH3LP1Dw2N6OyeH8zOzJlqUeCDBmEizOyVxeg5srnLggsTdofwsY0Fh6an2g/s1600/mcstreuli-295.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgviansie0z4JJjvbykrVFi3gTgwyGC6gmkGffsc2V99CXMecwzG2SHHOCZlO7Rz5zkl0E-Mtv0Qsnyhv0BH3LP1Dw2N6OyeH8zOzJlqUeCDBmEizOyVxeg5srnLggsTdofwsY0Fh6an2g/s320/mcstreuli-295.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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When you get an Uber and you are alone, do you sit in the front or the back? That is my current level of social anxiety. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to get in the car let alone survive that awkward “are you busy today?” chat. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Knms7t2Trssuh8oIq1g-YlzI7CBrb3ZqRix3pJ3TFSlsFEIS7JAIgSxSvGskY719ZFSERPkyZZqwPRDvifwOWPlDJbZvZrHVyaP26ChO2egXV3NA4MPrqdu2GFQaj1Ty-HfB22QYNb4/s1600/mcstreuli-45.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1068" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Knms7t2Trssuh8oIq1g-YlzI7CBrb3ZqRix3pJ3TFSlsFEIS7JAIgSxSvGskY719ZFSERPkyZZqwPRDvifwOWPlDJbZvZrHVyaP26ChO2egXV3NA4MPrqdu2GFQaj1Ty-HfB22QYNb4/s320/mcstreuli-45.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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It is amazing how far to think I have come in the past few years and the last few weeks since our wedding has been the perfect time to reflect. The months leading up to the big day can be so stressful but it is important to have friends and family around to support you. Please, reach out, you are not alone.<br />
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The vast majority of your friends and family will be flattered or over the moon that you want their help or input into your special occasion so don’t be shy to ask. I’m so glad we asked for help and I owe those nearest and dearest so much. Maybe it's asking for help setting up the favors on the table or even a special reading. It is the little personal touches, that you and your closest family bring to the day that makes it important, unique and memorable. </div>
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Does anyone else have a pork pie in their wedding photos?<br />
Who else had a big red bus for the closest family to ride?<br />
Who else had a flash mob after their first dance?<br />
Just us. </div>
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It might be a little 'out there'. But that's us. We're special. Unashamed.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We had a 'Mind' theme photobooth!<br />
Could you support a charity important to you on your big day?</td></tr>
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Since mental health has been such a huge part of our lives, we wanted it to be part of our huge day. In fact, I've written a blog for Mind which will hopefully appear soon on their website.</div>
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While 2015 was the worst year of my life, it was the catalyst for so many good things. Getting support and diagnosis on the NHS helped me get the right path to recovery and trying to stay healthy. For me, having a diagnosis of <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/" target="_blank">EUPD</a> meant I had something to learn about and focus on; it wasn't a horrific shadow or even unknown.<br />
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<span class="il">Mind</span> helped me to find a voice and to take ownership of my story – rather than letting my story or my mental health own me. </blockquote>
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With the help of <span class="il">Mind,</span> I’ve told my story on BBC News and to<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jan/25/nhs-panto-dame-recover-attempted-suicide-psychologist" target="_blank"> The Guardian</a>. They also introduced me to the <span class="il">Mind</span> Media Awards where I have helped shortlist entries for 3 years.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBjY_9W3KCiapfvERp09todkepUd0mLc-F10g52Zbi15ESeT7K4QYFtx8LcG4M3GKPHbYsjTfa62EJ_P2MKMzDwTKzWifJTPpRVPdY1ueMmezmpR3TI1mK_NMFdHWc75lh5YWrxXqNfMY/s1600/mcstreuli-403.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1068" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBjY_9W3KCiapfvERp09todkepUd0mLc-F10g52Zbi15ESeT7K4QYFtx8LcG4M3GKPHbYsjTfa62EJ_P2MKMzDwTKzWifJTPpRVPdY1ueMmezmpR3TI1mK_NMFdHWc75lh5YWrxXqNfMY/s320/mcstreuli-403.jpg" width="213" /></a>During this time, I also became reacquainted with a friend from school, Caroline. We had drifted apart, as you naturally do after school. Caroline had a difficult time and suffered her own frightening mental health issues at university. However, those experiences helped us see past each other’s flaws and into our future. We weren’t damaged or scarred. We’d survived and were starting to thrive on the adventure of a lifetime. Within a few months, I knew I could never be without her and on New Years Eve, I asked her to marry me.<br />
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We were married on 6<sup>th</sup> April 2019 at our local church where we both grew up and we are thrilled to share some photos with you here. We used <span class="il">Mind</span> wedding favors, name cards with pins, on our tables. On the back of our order of service, we asked people to make donations to <span class="il">Mind</span> via the website. We also had leaflets, flags, and donations around our photo booth. </div>
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I don't know if we raised much, but it felt nice to have a positive story linked to mental health.</blockquote>
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If you had asked me in 2015, I couldn’t see a future. Yet the right help has helped me on a path to where we are now. Mental health doesn't have to be a bad news story. Good things, like happy endings, can happen too.<br />
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<i><a href="http://www.mattstreuli.uk/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Find out more about my story through my blog or browse the different interviews I've done at www.</span>MattStreuli.uk</a></i><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Thank you for taking the time for reading my blog. Please follow me on YouTube and Twitter.</span></div>
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The estimated cost to the UK economy is £1.7million<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/suicide?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#suicide</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BusinessNews?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BusinessNews</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/mentalhealth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#mentalhealth</a> <a href="https://t.co/7X5ixbXgtu">pic.twitter.com/7X5ixbXgtu</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/1121051065414238208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 24, 2019</a></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0M4, Slough SL1, UK51.5017240722105 -0.6030815951171462151.4819605722105 -0.64342209511714621 51.5214875722105 -0.56274109511714621tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-25864013310647421702018-11-27T21:19:00.000+00:002018-11-27T21:28:33.450+00:00Scented Candles and #SelfCare <div id="oneComWebmail-Signature">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: start;">Human nature seems to like maintaining the status quo however when that is the routine deaths of 100,000 people each year linked to issues with mental health care, I can’t help feeling something can and should change.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifCeKPanj0y1cFW5GJ9atYww2PD8iiIIzOcD-W7NG9g2dGsFTIVkj7uIDUxi7X5CO1J-jtEbWGQuZbyOTEbQpHB45uBhRTxWfHJjfQmYFD_9_5AAGJQqUojgRfcAxS8q4xh2qIDXvD4R4/s1600/20181124_124215.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifCeKPanj0y1cFW5GJ9atYww2PD8iiIIzOcD-W7NG9g2dGsFTIVkj7uIDUxi7X5CO1J-jtEbWGQuZbyOTEbQpHB45uBhRTxWfHJjfQmYFD_9_5AAGJQqUojgRfcAxS8q4xh2qIDXvD4R4/s320/20181124_124215.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: start;">Whilst the male suicide rate was at its lowest in 2017 (since 1981 when the Office for National Statistics started) it is still the biggest killer of men from their teens to the time they should get their bus pass. In 2017, 5,821 people ended their own lives. 4,382 (75.3%) of those were male.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: start;">There are many ways to tackle this and different organisations are taking different multi-pronged approaches. In fact this week sees the Mind Media Awards which does a fantastic job of promoting sensible and careful conversation of mental health in the press or on films and TV. It also rewards those programmes, journalists and producers who undertake this difficult conversation and encourage people to talk and seek help. I was very proud to be on the shortlisting panel for the awards for a third year running and as ever found it a rewarding, enlightening and humbling experience. You can watch the <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/mind-media-awards/" target="_blank">event live via the Mind<span style="background-color: purple;"><span style="color: white;"> website</span></span></a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: start;">One of the prongs to tackle this killer is the idea of self-care. In the ever hectic world where stress is the biggest cause of absence at work, helping people make healthier decisions can not just save the NHS millions or decrease your waist size but actually steer people away from the edge. The image of having a relaxing bath, or sitting still for 5 minutes of calm with candle or wax melt can at first feel quite… ladylike. But why should there be anything wrong with looking after your mind if it’s OK to look after your body? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: start;">I asked on twitter: When was the last time you did nothing? Just focused on a raindrop, sat still, silently noticing the world around and what your senses' sense?</span></div>
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<a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/1067401516061880320" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="306" data-original-width="665" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5CgJCo6DVhtjfzBd7oD_RYOTDm8nyHmZvfLYcfFhKxcFlbOpCCpNddT3xvvSYnKLR_TOtKujwbra7ClAIN2V6c302uM9WoI7ccqPUerMv8QAdiN-Xk2mtReFp2SuLk4imAIT81BUzZDY/s400/2018-11-27_20h35_14.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: left;">Every vote was either 'Rarely' or 'Never'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: left;">One of the ways I practise self-care is to sit still and practise some simplified mindfulness with a wax melt or a candle to focus on. How does it smell? Can you see the flicker of the flame or the wisps of fragrance raise from the pool? Taking 5 minutes to notice these things allows your body and mind to reset from the chaos that is your pinging emails, buzzing text messages and banging of children or telephones. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Below is a video review for </span><a href="https://picknmelt.com/" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;" target="_blank">Pick N Melt </a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">who reached out to me and given the nature of my blog and social media wanted my view on their products. The Mrs-to-be and I adore a Yankee Candle so went in with high hopes. It would be nice to spend some money on craft-made UK candles and wax melts? </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: left;"></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRvpbob1HhH07Ulcjr6fXgQrbjZb1QsJt4LfyOYSD0bpyNBli-J11CchNF10OT9Omkj2WVXUK4qyEEQH8icXhY-XOBYrOLgPjTzgeH2rsCy_GoK9ZQs3gdrKqHQoEBsO_J46NH0hrghQ8/s1600/20181124_121452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRvpbob1HhH07Ulcjr6fXgQrbjZb1QsJt4LfyOYSD0bpyNBli-J11CchNF10OT9Omkj2WVXUK4qyEEQH8icXhY-XOBYrOLgPjTzgeH2rsCy_GoK9ZQs3gdrKqHQoEBsO_J46NH0hrghQ8/s200/20181124_121452.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have been blown away by the beautiful scents available and how well the fragrance remains. I've used big brand wax melts before and ended up with 'scent-less' wax lining my bin after a few hours but the 'Seville Orange' has been going for almost 35 hours now and it still smells like we've zested our own fruits right there. It's not overpowering but it is strong and lasts really well. I'm really impressed with the value of money their monthly subscription pack provides - a perfect gift for Christmas or for you to share with your friends and promote a bit of #selfcare. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">#</span><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BeTheMateYoudWant?src=hash" style="color: #551a8b; cursor: pointer; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;" target="_blank">BeTheMateYoudWant</a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thanks for reading! Please share, subscribe and comment. Why not have a look at some past popular posts I've linked below!?<br /><br /><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HeJOhA7uIuE" width="560"></iframe></span></div>
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<li><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2018/09/rememberingfamily.html" style="color: #f0168c; font-family: Unkempt; font-size: 20px; text-decoration-line: none;">Remembering Family at Weddings: I Don't Really Want To...</a></li>
<li><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2018/06/topweddingtips-partone-dont-buy-wedding.html" style="color: #156dc0; font-family: Unkempt; font-size: 20px; text-decoration-line: none;">#TopWeddingTips: Don't Buy Wedding Magazines!</a></li>
<li><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2018/05/stigma-is-scariest-part-of-live.html" style="color: #f0168c; font-family: Unkempt; font-size: 20px; text-decoration-line: none;">Stigma is the scariest part of being on Live National TV </a></li>
<li><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-size: large;"><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2016/09/wspd2016-2.html" target="_blank">Mental Health: How does it affect loved ones?</a></span></li>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BpkyFhKBiCW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">#itsmybirthday on #Halloween 👻 Find out more at www.facebook.com/mattstreuli.uk or www.MattStreuli.uk 🎃 #mentalhealth #suicide ❤️ Please share @mindcharity @rethinkmentalillness #timetochange #birthday #AskTwice #blog #workplacediscrimination #selfcare</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/matthewstreuli/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Matthew E Streuli</a> (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2018-10-30T22:53:43+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Oct 30, 2018 at 3:53pm PDT</time></div>
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We've got <a href="https://twitter.com/PicknMelt?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@PicknMelt</a> 's wax melt back on again today. The scent is just as strong as yesterday. Very impressed. With <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@mattstreuli</a> <a href="https://t.co/L8KoyvLISD">pic.twitter.com/L8KoyvLISD</a></div>
— Smudge (@Blue_Smudge) <a href="https://twitter.com/Blue_Smudge/status/1066642722197512193?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2018</a></blockquote>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Swallow Street, Iver, Buckinghamshire SL0 0HS, United Kingdom51.527527 -0.5219941999999946331.446904999999997 -41.830588199999994 71.608149 40.786599800000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-14774035053551704572018-09-13T20:24:00.000+01:002018-09-13T20:28:45.719+01:00Remembering Family at Weddings: I Don't Really Want To...<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">This is a question I've been avoiding for a while.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimt7ud93XTO66FWEJWWEhE_tgjHdVQOkp2vvle4izPdWS0sFlxad6htr6-hx9hJGxSd6xypH4kHh_vmIVOWsmNWkfolP44nzcc3LmrXNyBuLGas5aPNUIv8N4geRAysfRhg0XcPoYVNAg/s1600/wedding-2156374_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimt7ud93XTO66FWEJWWEhE_tgjHdVQOkp2vvle4izPdWS0sFlxad6htr6-hx9hJGxSd6xypH4kHh_vmIVOWsmNWkfolP44nzcc3LmrXNyBuLGas5aPNUIv8N4geRAysfRhg0XcPoYVNAg/s320/wedding-2156374_1280.jpg" width="320" /></a>On paper, it seems a nice idea to have a candle or a sign - perhaps even some photographs - of loved ones who have died and so are unable to attend your wedding day. My problem is that I don't particularly love my alcoholic Mother who drank herself to death when I was 13.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">WedMagazine.co.uk is one of the many sites that have heartfelt articles on remembering your deceased family members and I think the idea of honouring someone close, especially when they have helped shaped who you are today, is a lovely tribute. This particular article talks about mentioning them in the order of service, using their favourite flowers or piece of jewellery. The only proposition suitable for my dead mum is raising a glass to her but I'm not sure saying "Cheers" to so someone so dependent to booze it cost them their marriage, dignity and life is something worth writing home about. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Part of writing my blog is to help me understand and process how I feel and what I think about certain issues or situations. It is also a great opportunity to hear your honest feedback through social media and the comments below. I guess what might seem alien is that even though she finally died in 2003, I don't think I have forgiven her. In fact, I'm still quite annoyed with her. It's not the anger I felt when I was a teenager - time has mellowed this pain to that of a mild itch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">I remember sitting on the hospital bed in which my Mum died and holding her hand. I told her that despite everything that had happened, I forgave her. I didn't really forgive her and I still don't but I couldn't let her die thinking her only Son hated her. I was 13.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2018/05/stigma-is-scariest-part-of-live.html" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="676" data-original-width="1132" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEEv8NaBYVuUZsCzPN_eYkEQfXQZGKPw2-CX1aYYXmF7aP6ciPsV7qW5coCeA-H9YZEh0ehq8-OUvgF96neC4wtjSTnTvippMDd5grZ1uh5DBOjRFPXx3ANyCR-cCN9I9cJCaX0Wb0xcc/s320/Matt+Streuli+on+BBC.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2018/05/stigma-is-scariest-part-of-live.html" target="_blank">I was on BBC's Victoria Derbyshire - Click for more</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We've already decided that at our wedding there will be 'nods' and elements highlighting mental health; so important to the journey that the bride and I have made to reach this day. Just in case you haven't seen my mug on TV, heard my effeminate voice on radio or my trotters on the stage: my story starts as a carer for an alcoholic Mother and leads into mental health as a teen and adult suffering workplace discrimination culminating in a suicide attempt in 2015. </span><br />
<br /><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Given that my Mother played a key role in creating a dysfunction home of my childhood which in turn warped the cogs of my mind and altered my programming - should I be thanking her? As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I know forgiveness and learning to love again is key. However, I will never really know the what and the whys that drove my mum to find relief in her dry white wine. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> Continues Below...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There were 5,821 suicides last year. 75% were by men or boys.<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WorldSuicidePreventionDay?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#WorldSuicidePreventionDay</a> <a href="https://t.co/Ty36MB4Bod">https://t.co/Ty36MB4Bod</a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/1039178714637066240?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 10, 2018</a></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">All of this brings me back to the idea of remembering that lost loved one. They helped shape who you are today. There can be no doubt that the actions and inactions of my Mother were a huge influence in the avenues my life has travelled. Perhaps rather than raising a glass, I could raise a middle finger? Despite everything, look how far I've come and look how far I will go.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">What would you do? </span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Do you have a loved one you're not entirely sure you want to remember? Do you just ignore them and gloss over it? Or should I stop my whining and do a small tribute so I'm not being such a monster? Leave a comment below or my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MattStreuli.uk" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: #d5a6bd;">Facebook</span> page</a>.</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-size: 12pt;">After everything, she is my Mother. </span><br /><br /><br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="300" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uL2u8H3bqcc" width="460"></iframe><br /></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm6GtIJDwpI/?utm_source=ig_embed_loading" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Pamper afternoon for our #mentalhealth plus #wedding decorations! 🎭🌷❤️ www.MattStreuli.uk #selfcare #blog #feet #reekyfeetus #mudmask</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/matthewstreuli/?utm_source=ig_embed_loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Matthew E Streuli</a> (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2018-08-25T16:03:46+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Aug 25, 2018 at 9:03am PDT</time></div>
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<script async="" defer="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span>MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-44769388816978567732018-08-23T21:04:00.000+01:002018-08-23T21:10:17.226+01:00Regular Blogging is hard....<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="https://news.sky.com/story/work-causes-mental-health-issues-in-60-of-employees-11066428" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="441" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtD4ypYXJ0VEghYbHefe5LIszv-iebSFM1DLiakTpGMVuWZlaKwWJ6a8qp3pvQcojU6jWtJfZzg7BCDRy5CcFnpVcdq8k5WxN78PlXRqVkeKaMEdGAeAFol6x6kpdpkf8L_l0EI-o4z1g/s200/sky+news+streuli.png" width="200" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://news.sky.com/story/work-causes-mental-health-issues-in-60-of-employees-11066428" target="_blank">I'm still available for Media things :) </a><br />
Click Image to view on SkyNews</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Regular blogging is hard. Especially when you work two jobs (or thanks to some crossover it has been three!).<br />
<br />For those of you new to my story, I had an incredibly <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2018/05/stigma-is-scariest-part-of-live.html" target="_blank">difficult time with a past employer which led to attempt to <span style="background-color: #c27ba0;">end my own life in 2015</span></a> and employment tribunal action for discrimination. It's taken a long time to get comfortable with my mind but also feel healthy enough to take risks. <br />
<br />To take big risks like going into a new full-time office job. A job with similarities to the one that nearly killed me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I've been in my new job for just over two weeks so I'm able to look back without too much impact. It would be an understatement, however, to say it was easy. The days leading up to my new job were a holiday - even with the stresses of Summer Holiday Eurotunnel or a wheel nut disappearing on the French toll routes. The night before the new job, however, was a concern. Outside I tried to wear my old mask of 'Stiff Upper Lip' and 'Soldier on Through' but inside I actually felt scared.<br />
<br />A lot of my concerns are pretty normal. What will the people be like? What are the expectations? Where is it? Will they be understanding? Will they make judgments?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">In the hours leading up to my start, all my mind would focus on is: "why am I taking the risk?"<br /><br />I was happy where I was. OK, I need more money for the wedding but... I loved working in a school. I love the caring, funny yet devastating way children can be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />I have had one blip. It was two weeks in. Perhaps a shadow from my mental health diagnosis? 15 minutes from the end of the day, I'm pretty close to being on top of everything. Bam. A tonne of work hits my desk. This load behaves like an ignored parking fine: its grown from being a small fluffy annoyance into a cave-dwelling angry twit and has sharp pointy teeth. It could have been avoided. It almost ruined my night. The next day I crack on into the workload and realise that unlike the 'toxic waste dump' that I worked in during my lowest point (back in 2015), that the expectations of me and those around me were pretty reasonable. I wasn't forced by evil glare to stay late and try to solve every woe. Actually, with a good supporting team around you - even a bad day can be OK. In fact, the worst day so far was pretty good when I compare it to <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2015/12/i-cannot-do-2015-again.html" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: #d5a6bd;">that company</span> that nearly killed me.</a></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mattstreuli.uk/" target="_blank">Read more on my front page - www.MattStreuli.uk</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am very fortunate that my colleagues and superiors are nice, approachable and reasonable. I guess I should have expected that as I am now working for the NHS but as we've discussed before on this blog sometimes the biggest stigma we face is the threat and fears that our mind creates.<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">After all, everyone is human, mostly. </span></span><br />
<i><br /><br /></i><i><b>NEXT TIME: More Wedding Tips & Visiting Caen</b></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BlfefLYHQCP/?utm_source=ig_embed" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Working in a Primary School has been an invaluable and incredible experience. I will dealt miss it xx www.MattStreuli.uk</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/matthewstreuli/?utm_source=ig_embed" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Matthew E Streuli</a> (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2018-07-21T11:20:41+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Jul 21, 2018 at 4:20am PDT</time></span></div>
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<br />MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-53627037122561653662018-06-10T14:58:00.000+01:002018-06-10T14:58:26.642+01:00#TopWeddingTips PartOne : Don't Buy Wedding Magazines!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/33896738_10155593256832525_7427326600405843968_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=34ba6ddf3c909bcce7dba590ddec4ac2&oe=5B7ABE89" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="112" src="https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/33896738_10155593256832525_7427326600405843968_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=34ba6ddf3c909bcce7dba590ddec4ac2&oe=5B7ABE89" width="200" /></a></div>
Normally my blog is diary or exploration of my life and views on Mental Health - especially now I've been on live TV! 😋<br /><br />As part of new series, with the assistance of my <span style="background-color: #ead1dc;"><a href="https://twitter.com/blue_smudge" target="_blank">W2B</a> </span>(Wife to be), we are giving you our input and the lessons we've learned- some of them are pretty shocking! So rather than throw away your hard earned cash, make your wedding special, meaningful and fun. Let us get to it...<div>
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<i><b>#TopWeddingTips #1 - </b>Use a Credit Card!</i></h3>
<b>Some of you will have read the header and immediately dismissed it but hang on. There are TWO very good reasons to use a card.</b><br />Firstly, you will be placing deposits and buying things here and there and sometimes, it will hit you all within a few days - too often its unpredictable. You do not want to be spending money without good thought but you do need quick access and being able to spread the cost over a few months will help prevent you wiping out your savings (if you are lucky enough to have any!). There are some really good websites like<a href="https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/section75-protect-your-purchases" target="_blank"> <span style="background-color: #d5a6bd;">MoneySavingsExpert</span></a> and uSwitch that will compare Credit Cards, even for those on bad credit, and find the best 0% purchase options sometimes up to 24 months. Credit cards are just like your energy bills or your broadband, you have to switch almost yearly or they'll treat you like a mug.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Secondly, is the protection a credit card gives you. It's like a condom for your wedding buys! You will be buying from small business, whether its a photographer, the DJ or local seamstress. Even if you purchase through eBay/PayPal or trusted sites like Etsy or NotOnTheHighStreet, it can still go wrong. HOWEVER, as long as the spend is £100 on the credit card, you get extra protection (on top of whatever protection PayPal or the store gives) buy UK Law. Goods not delivered? They don't work? The company disappears? They go bust? If you've been on those 'Scammers' groups on Facebook then you know how easy it is for conartists to pop up and disapear - its only £50ish so people rarely go to the Police or Court and it takes hundreds of victims before people get caught. Rather than finding the money and energy to go to court (you're getting married after all and who has time to chase £98), you simply call your Credit Card Company and the protection in law means that after a few forms and sending them reciepts or contracts or whatever proof you have they will reimburse you. It happened with us on<a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2016/07/" target="_blank"> <span style="background-color: #d5a6bd;">a holiday</span> with lowcostholidays</a>. They went bust but within a few weeks the money was back and we had rebooked. If we paid through debit card or bank transfer, we would have either got nothing or very little. Just make sure you pay it all off (if you can) before the end of your 0% offer and it means you get all that extra protection for <b>FREE</b>. This applies to EVERYTHING over £100, even if just one installment is on the card... (holidays, hotels, weddings, cars...)<br /><blockquote>
Section 75 of the Consumer Credit Act provides additional protection for credit card purchases costing between £100 and £30,000. If you have a claim for breach of contract or misrepresentation against the supplier of the goods or services, Section 75 gives you the same claim against the creditor.<br /> This is useful if, for example, the trader you purchased the goods or services from has ceased to trade or if you haven't been able to locate them. This additional protection only applies to credit card purchases, not debit card purchases. <span style="font-size: x-small;">- Which? website, 2018</span></blockquote>
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<i><b>#TopWeddingTips #2 - Reception? </b>Go Everywhere!</i></h3>
<b>"Oh, this is my dream!" It is still worth checking other venues & hotels. Your savings and your heart will thank you.</b><br />Whether you want a Church and Hotel, like us, or maybe you prefer the 'all in one' in a lovely Hotel or the more personalised DIY of a Church and Village Hall or Clubhouse, you need to check all the options. We knew we wanted a hotel as we didn't want people worrying about getting home, rather than having the best party and going upstairs to their rooms (and even breakfast with us the next day). Having read advice online we were ready to get married on Thursday (an evergrowing choice to save £s)<br /><br />When we went to our first wedding fair in early 2017, the very popular and extravagant hotels and venues already had peak Summer bookings for 2019 and even some for 2020. Your wallet will thank you for giving yourself time to plan and book and your heart will thank you for making the day more personal than a rushed 'prepackaged' option.<br /><br />The BEST wedding fairs tend to be in Autumn and early Spring (because suppliers are too busy in peak season) but that doesn't mean you can't go to venues and look; sometimes pop in and see the venue set up for an event that day. We'll discuss Fairs in more detail in a future post.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0TJK1IdRQAx_4SYI2s5XU3VI-bF_xYOc8bpRGgD8XBFcatxzlFPJYor7d59_LV8QpJ8gdkEjo3KqiHNSfl50oOLHXebbTx2Oxalswsd8RLJdCkgB4ncHkicEbEEQMdKA6_IuhRjeE1vw/s1600/2018-06-10_13h25_33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="604" data-original-width="486" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0TJK1IdRQAx_4SYI2s5XU3VI-bF_xYOc8bpRGgD8XBFcatxzlFPJYor7d59_LV8QpJ8gdkEjo3KqiHNSfl50oOLHXebbTx2Oxalswsd8RLJdCkgB4ncHkicEbEEQMdKA6_IuhRjeE1vw/s320/2018-06-10_13h25_33.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: BBC, ONS</td></tr>
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We live near Heathrow and I found a Hotel with the package I really liked the look of. For the price, the rooms were amazing and, for me, being at the end of a runway was pretty cool. The price/package looks reasonable too compared to the insane prices we've been showed before. Seeing the place was a concrete labyrinth put me off a little bit. When we saw the windowless dated yet huge box as the Reception venue it made me skeptic. OK, it filled our weekends going to every Wedding Fair and hotel within 30 minutes of our Church but we found a MAJOR brand hotel with much nicer rooms and venue for MUCH less. It was closer to our Church too and our hearts and wallets thanked us for checking it all out. It will take weeks and months of weekends to check out all the options - even if it is just for the freebies you get or the ideas. The ideas might be "let's do that" or "we will never do that". <br /><br />Oh, and you definitely want to get married at the weekend? Rather than throw away good money for the privalige find a Corporate hotel. Our hotel is mostly corporate which means that Saturday was CHEAPER than the Friday (they would lose their regular 3-5 days conferences). Bear that in mind! Plus, if it is good enough for businesses making Million Pound deals or Donald Trump's Dumps, then its good enough for us. What matters is how you use or decorate the space.<br /><br />
DO speak to people at the venues, not just take a brochure or a website. Again you might get some freebies but they'll also tell you how to get the best from them to make it YOUR day - if they don't then you know they are just for people who have FAR too much money! <br /><br />We'll have more info on researching Churches and Hotels in future posts.<br /><br />
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<i><b>#TopWeddingTips #3 - Don't Buy Wedding Magazines</b>! Use Pinterest</i></h3>
<b>Definitely take in all the ideas and advice you can and then collate them as you feel they are relevant but never in paper form...</b><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="https://gb.readly.com/products/magazines/global/wedding" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="592" data-original-width="408" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivAH3RpoVGwxlqQWLe3Jkqzr5eZsLTSEWLKdcnvrdmuKctT8grwekIrtZbOPRZf0QFKeQ_qB4g9lt7uEDFnYhwNxtcLB_2icLYBmj5y-zdTXmaSAY85LSkT_ar0Ib23KNrOKq33XprDY8/s320/2018-06-10_13h55_13.jpg" width="220" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://gb.readly.com/products/magazines/global/wedding" target="_blank">Brides, Elle, Hello!, Empire, Cosmo... <br />All on one app you can Screenshot!</a></td></tr>
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OK. The headline is a bit of clickbait. Some of the decent magazines will set you back anywhere from £5 to £19 per month. Some of their articles will be free online but I suggest you use an app/website like <a class="" href="https://gb.readly.com/" style="background-color: #d5a6bd;" target="_blank">Readly</a>. For us, we got a free trial and a discount subscription through a mobile phone provider or broadband or something but its a website that allows you see the latest edition and most of the back editions for hundreds of magazines, not just weddings. We read some of the big brand magazines but also the more regional ones - so you could see real weddings near you (over the past few years!) and not just adverts. It's not just UK, but Europe too. I can't read much German but you're only looking at the images and screengrabbing your favourite ideas really. Click <a href="https://gb.readly.com/products/magazines/global/wedding" style="background-color: #ead1dc;" target="_blank">here</a> for the full list of 'Wedding' mags.<br /><br />Once you collected the screengrabs from the magazines put them on a shared board on Pinterest and then as a couple you can go through. Each of us added different things and so were able to combine what we both liked. You can organise them much better rather than having cut outs and print outs strewn about your home (which is going to be filling up with other things for your wedding!). Maybe you still want a physical or paper idea board, but at least you've narrow it down online. Over the 18 month, it saves trees and money.<br /><a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/matthewstreuli/wedding/" target="_blank">Have a look at our board, which needs some organising at some point!, here: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/matthewstreuli/wedding/ </a><br /><br />We liked adding stuff and then sitting in bed on a Sunday morning with teas and coffee narrowing down the pins and sorting them. You can also search Pinterest for ideas like invites or to save photos you've taken from things you've seen at fairs. Save links there too so it's all in one easy place. Use it as inspiration to make your own - or enlist those around you! We'll discuss more next time but trial your ideas at your Engagement Party - its a 'Dress Rehearsal" for your reception!<br /><h4>
<i>MORE IDEAS & TIPS NEXT TIME</i></h4>
Have you got some advice related to these three posts? Maybe some HORROR stories? Or things that went right for you? Comment below.<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://gofundme.com/weddingstreuli2019" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="233" data-original-width="322" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgph99TMlNkxmXNt_VH1BNWkbGVE4RDaJNgY9P-yDZVyhh4pBGGYcmrI6S4mk3eSlYUIttCLK5wTEA1nS1L6w0CUlhBE_c5FoM98OPEFx-xmal2EG0Gx9FVs6XSji7xaR0HQHW8HafECAI/s200/GoFundMe2.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://gofundme.com/weddingstreuli2019" target="_blank">Support our wedding! </a></td></tr>
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Not only am I directing the UK premier of 'Cancelled' but now I'm in the show! <a href="https://t.co/X3yBKRw3w6">https://t.co/X3yBKRw3w6</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/1005672308621660160?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2018</a></blockquote>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-69848221965853846742018-05-14T11:35:00.000+01:002018-05-14T20:46:31.777+01:00Stigma is the scariest part of Live National TV #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg28d-HbkOfdOlRJKw-FMdKVcGOg7_lacIuH7CaIrRx_QOythnE-H1FMqBRSSz6Vm64ggKWjehwnmTdz7fGEh_kJ2D3X8Rehz1k-II0pgqptp-DtjjTf-ujn-CZRfL2BqZDSGjirzYwArs/s1600/Matt+Streuli+on+BBC.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="676" data-original-width="1132" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg28d-HbkOfdOlRJKw-FMdKVcGOg7_lacIuH7CaIrRx_QOythnE-H1FMqBRSSz6Vm64ggKWjehwnmTdz7fGEh_kJ2D3X8Rehz1k-II0pgqptp-DtjjTf-ujn-CZRfL2BqZDSGjirzYwArs/s320/Matt+Streuli+on+BBC.png" width="320" /></a>Sometimes I wonder if I should hide my identity. If employers and local gossipers google my name and become frightened of the monster I must be. It's a corner of my psyche I fight with every day like the anxiety of the withheld caller on your mobile phone. It can be really hard. Sometimes I apply stigma to myself through this fear.<br />
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I imagine going on Live TV is really hard but its even harder when you tell the world, with your face and name forever seen, that you tried to take your own life. I was asked to go on Victoria Derbyshire's show. I was overwhelmed. Going to the BBC and being on TV is an awesome level of epic. Plus I have been a shortlister for the Mind Media Awards for the past two years and have been very impressed with the shows efforts to talk about mental health. Using the recent storyline in Coronation Street, where the main character has been suffering suicidal thoughts for several months culminating in taking his own life, the show wanted to discuss whether openly talking about suicide using soaps is right and the way Coronation Street handled it.<br />
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"Just because it's hard to talk about, doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it."</blockquote>
I was nervous. As we all would be. But this is putting my face on national TV. Not everyone reads the newspapers or listens to the radio but everyone would see this. What if I freeze? What if I'm stupid? What if no one cares?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtICYnB1AjPYdKFlWvB3FQzxf03hZSrgCXZknbMmLs74nnSNdHz_O_rbdXPaGZGXo24geoaaODQX-TTCoWzNFWlcH3A6qrzrYHNbswNk9nfNLune1ILfMtdhbDCvS6iAWO08wLx1Qa_F0/s1600/20180510_083513.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtICYnB1AjPYdKFlWvB3FQzxf03hZSrgCXZknbMmLs74nnSNdHz_O_rbdXPaGZGXo24geoaaODQX-TTCoWzNFWlcH3A6qrzrYHNbswNk9nfNLune1ILfMtdhbDCvS6iAWO08wLx1Qa_F0/s320/20180510_083513.jpg" width="180" /></a><br />
I made sure to get into Central London really early and my faithful Bluted helped keep me calm. I'd rehearsed in a mirror some of the key points I'd wanted to make but also an idea of what answers I would give to each question. The other guests and everyone on the production team were amazing. I felt put at ease. The makeup lady was lovely and engaging and the people on the floor cracked a few jokes to help us feel at home. I met my fellow guests, one from the Samaritans and one from the RadioTimes. The massive studio is much smaller in real life. Suddenly video clips from the soap are being played and Victoria is introducing herself to me.<br />
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Then it clicked. Everything fell into place. I didn't completely forget there were cameras but the years of amdram and being the pantomime dame paid off. I said what I felt and mixed in the phrases I had rehearsed with my reflection. Before I knew it, I was off. We spoke how respectful the show was and how fantastic and level the actors were. I was astounded by how this soap wasn't an over the top stereotypical soap - which is a difficult thing to do. The full video is below.<br />
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I have fond memories of "Mark Fowler" from BBC's EastEnders and I remember how he thrived, not just survived, with HIV. His story was hopeful, even with the traditional heightened drama of the soap world. We've seen the main character take his own life, now I want a character like Mark Fowler to give mental health the approachable and thriving view.<br />
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As quick as we started, it was done. Our mic packs were off and we were making our way out of the building. I had to get the tube straight back to Uxbridge and get to work!<br />
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I was buzzing. Maybe it was the tinted moisturiser but it wasn't until I was sat on the tube that the sweat started pouring.<br />
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<i><a href="http://www.mattstreuli.uk/" target="_blank">Check out my <b>new</b> website: www.MattStreuli.uk</a></i></div>
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I checked my social media. What did the world think?<br />
The tweets were lovely. New followers proud that I have spoken so well. People sharing pictures of their TVs with my face on their Facebook walls. This is including people I had and had not prewarned to watch BBC2. For the next few days, I was on top of the world. I had spoken eloquently, made the points I'd wanted and no one hated me. In fact, people I barely knew or didn't know at all were sharing my tweets and video clips.<br />
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That feeling last two days. Maybe I'm sad but I had started to investigate who had posted or 'liked' my posts and tweets - or even those posted by others. The same few names were missing. From every post their names were not there. Names I felt should have been liking and sharing. Names I felt should have been shouting from the rooftops. Names, that if our places were swapped, I would have been sharing and liking their posts and even dropping them a text message of "well done". These were names I wanted to be proud of me. Yet one of them "hadn't had the time" to watch any of my live TV debuts.<br />
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I launched a poll on twitter asking if I'm an embarrassment. That's the only possibility, right? Why else would you ignore such an achievement? Unless I'm not special or important to those few names. They had the effort and time to post about other things. Things I consider them not as important as the male suicide crisis let alone <i>moi </i>on live national news TV. It really hurt me.<br />
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Therapy from years ago tells me to confront it. I think my life experience and maybe a bit of "Eureka from RuPaul's Drag Race" tells me to focus my mind and energy on things I can control. Why waste your energy on toxic feelings or people? I can learn not to expect this kind of interaction from those names and they won't hurt me again. I am learning that if those names are embarrassed by my life and triumphs, then maybe they don't need to be in my life. <b>You have the power to choose who is in your life.</b><br />
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My future is strong. My fiancee and I get married in April next year. Those who support us and love us, who celebrate us; they are our true family.<br />
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I won't let those names hurt me anymore.<br />
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But it goes to show, the worst part of Live TV or even talking about your experience of mental health, is that there are some people who care more about fear, discrimination and stigma. <br />
Maybe more than they care for you.<br />
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Check my man <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@mattstreuli</a> doing his bit to help raise awareness of male suicide. <a href="https://t.co/jCHdVyPWby">https://t.co/jCHdVyPWby</a></div>
— Aidan Parr (@aidanparr) <a href="https://twitter.com/aidanparr/status/994519366736732160?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2018</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BhtVnj5DlYc/" data-instgrm-version="8" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:8px;"> <div style=" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:50.06402048655569% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;"> <div style=" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;"></div></div> <p style=" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BhtVnj5DlYc/" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;" target="_blank">My new website is here: www.MattStreuli.uk 📡 Let me know what you think! 😋 #mentalhealth #blogger #actorslife 💐 #TimetoTalk</a></p> <p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/matthewstreuli/" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px;" target="_blank"> Matthew E Streuli</a> (@matthewstreuli) on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2018-04-18T10:26:59+00:00">Apr 18, 2018 at 3:26am PDT</time></p></div></blockquote> <script async defer src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>
MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com014 Old Slade Ln, Iver SL0 9DR, UK51.502024739281481 -0.5100971460342407250.234374739281478 -3.0918841460342406 52.769674739281484 2.0716898539657591tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-43615820097481272792017-11-29T10:34:00.000+00:002017-11-30T08:16:25.075+00:00Excellence and 3x the Profit? How can #MentalHealth mean success for every business?<br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;">Just over two years ago I worked at the UK and Eire HQ for a large multi-national manufacturer. After five years with the company, I was forced to leave – after I tried to kill myself. So how can Mental Health save businesses £9b per year, deliver excellence in products and service and therefore up to 3x the profit?</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqATFMZ2ZTIq-B6xpkPHSC0SMcQNLElOGl2D532EjLGJ-aUDP7CYQbW8k1c7PqRldZ7xRa1GzIEpJ53KbZl5Nr3dpqIQRPfMp0kA6v_KBc5Sq0UB3FKhrNvnzhZMIY2DZkUfjVN0Zf5bk/s1600/sky+news+streuli.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="441" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqATFMZ2ZTIq-B6xpkPHSC0SMcQNLElOGl2D532EjLGJ-aUDP7CYQbW8k1c7PqRldZ7xRa1GzIEpJ53KbZl5Nr3dpqIQRPfMp0kA6v_KBc5Sq0UB3FKhrNvnzhZMIY2DZkUfjVN0Zf5bk/s320/sky+news+streuli.png" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Matt Streuli's TV Interview with Sky News - August 2017</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #404040; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="https://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/BacktoBlog.html" target="_blank">Read more of my Story: https://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/BacktoBlog.html</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #404040; font-size: xx-small;"><br></span> <br><span style="color: #404040;">The Heath and Safety Act </span>treats<span style="color: #404040;"> mental and physical health equally, however, the real world has been slow to catch up. In my situation, I was taking on extra work and new roles to ‘help’ the company keep in profit. Yet new independent research by Soma shows that </span><b style="color: #404040;">companies that record and track Mental Health make up to </b></span><b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; line-height: 107%;">3x the profit</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;">.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2017/10/10/profits-rack-ftse-100-firms-eye-mental-health-study-finds/" target="_blank"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; line-height: 107%;">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span> </a></span><br>
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</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;">I did everything my HR said, however, they didn’t do ¾ of the ‘reasonable adjustments’ suggested by their own Occupational Health Doctor. When I returned to the office with my final sick note from my GP, feeling duty bound to turn my out of office on and beg for my colleagues to cover my urgent duties, I was called in to see a senior manager. When I explained the situation and handed him my sick note he replied: “No one else had a problem”.</span><span lang="EN-US"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">"In classrooms, in workplaces, around the dinner table, between friends even between strangers. People are now really talking about their own wellbeing and looking to help those around them. And while just talking doesn’t cure all ills, we are now shattering the silence that was a real barrier to progress. ”</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-weight: 700; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><br><span style="font-size: 14px;">– Prince Harry, Mind Media Awards 2017</span></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;">The problem is that everyone does have this problem. The biggest killer of men and young men is not cancer, drugs or car crashes. <b>The biggest killer of men in our country is suicide.</b> In fact 75% of all suicides are male. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Research released in August 2017 by </span><a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/minds-media-office/" style="background-color: white; color: #156dc0; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">M</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">ind, the Mental Health Charity in England and Wales, show that men are twice as likely to suffer from mental health issues. </span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Why does this matter to HR and CEOs? Research announced by one of Prince Charles’ charities in October 2017 showed that </span><b style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Work and the Workplace was the cause of 60% of mental health issues </b><span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">as surveyed by YouGov – regardless of gender.</span><span class="MsoFootnoteReference" style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://news.sky.com/story/work-causes-mental-health-issues-in-60-of-employees-11066428" target="_blank">[2]</a></span></span></span></span><br>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">At a basic level, however, the solution is simple. Companies want to generate profit. This is done by creating a product or service and then nurturing its growth until it reaches the pinnacle of what it can achieve. We should be doing the same with our staff. As humans, we want what is best for ourselves, our families and each other. Big businesses are starting to realise that by nurturing and supporting their staff, they can mould their employees into what is best for the individual and the company; flexibility, compassion and ambition is a two-way avenue. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;"><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: black; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">"In the sphere of mental health alone I have found it to be quite extraordinarily supportive. What you do for yourselves and your friends and strangers can not be overstated."</span><br> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;"><b><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: black; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">- </span><a class="notranslate" href="https://www.instagram.com/stephenfry/" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #003569; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">@stephenfry</a><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: black; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> , Mind Media Awards 2017</span></b></span></span></blockquote>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Stress and other mental health problems are the second biggest cause of sickness absence, accounting for 70 million lost working days every year.<span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US" style="line-height: 17.12px;"><a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/workplace/workplace-wellbeing-index/index-201617-findings/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">[3]</span></a></span></span></span> This sick leave plus the staff turnover costs £26 billion every year<span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US" style="line-height: 17.12px;"><a href="https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/employment-the-economic-case" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">[4]</span></a></span></span></span>.<span class="MsoFootnoteReference"> </span><b>It is cheaper to support and nurture your staff and in turn you will harvest up to 3x the profits.</b></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">How can a driver get to the podium if the pit crew can’t face another day? </span><br>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Studies also show that simply <b>spending 80p on health promotion and intervention saves £4 in costs</b> due to absenteeism, temporary staff and presenteeism<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; line-height: 107%;"><a href="http://www.mindfulemployer.net/business/cost-business-benefits/" target="_blank">[5]</a></span></span></span>.</span> In my case, it would have also saved the cost of expensive Solicitors and a payout – let alone the Employer's embarrassment with Staff and Customers</span><span lang="EN-US" style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><v:shapetype coordsize="21600,21600" filled="f" id="_x0000_t75" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"> </v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:f></v:formulas> <v:path gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" o:extrusionok="f"> <o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"> </o:lock></v:path></v:stroke></v:shapetype></span><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_2" o:spid="_x0000_s1026" style="height: 264pt; margin-left: 263.65pt; margin-top: 191.85pt; mso-height-percent: 0; mso-height-percent: 0; mso-height-relative: page; mso-position-horizontal-relative: text; mso-position-horizontal: absolute; mso-position-vertical-relative: text; mso-position-vertical: absolute; mso-width-percent: 0; mso-width-percent: 0; mso-width-relative: page; mso-wrap-distance-bottom: 0; mso-wrap-distance-left: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-right: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-top: 0; mso-wrap-style: square; position: absolute; visibility: visible; width: 256.15pt; z-index: -251657216;" type="#_x0000_t75"> <v:imagedata cropleft="2377f" o:title="" src="file:///C:/Users/Matt/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.png"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> <w:wrap type="tight"> </w:wrap></span></v:imagedata></v:shape><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;"><br></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;">The Centre for Mental Health has proven that simple steps to improve the prevention and early identification of issues should enable UK organisations to save 30% or more of current mental health and stress-related costs<b>, a potential </b></span><b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; line-height: 107%;">saving of £9 billion per year</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;">.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/employment-the-economic-case" target="_blank">[4]</a> </span> <br>If you want to your products and service to bloom with excellence, that has to start with your foundations. That excellence can only be delivered by staff who are nurtured and flourishing themselves.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Search Matt Streuli on HuffPost to read my articles</td></tr>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> How can Customer Service deliver excellence when they live in a "toxic dump" or an "atmosphere of fear"?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040;">Since leaving my ‘hurtful’ employer I have focused on my recovery and returning to work. Aside from my new career in Education and in the Voluntary Sector (for Mind, Time to Change and the Iver Heath Drama Club) I have been working as an advocate. This involves public speaking and representing the struggling, scared, silent workforce - including interviews with LBC, The Guardian, BBC Newsbeat, Paul Ross on TalkRadio and, most recently, Sky News. Compared to that ‘hurtful’ job, I am struggling to make ends meets but: I am healthy, happily engaged to a wonderful woman and I am Alive.<br>
<br>The reason I am writing to you is that YOU and the staff who directly report to you have the power to change your company and save lives. I would like to offer my services to you and your HR team. I would like to work WITH you in helping improve the mindset of your company and management structure to one that wants the best and what is best from and for everyone whether this is through public speaking at your meetings and conferences or on an individual basis. I would also like to support you in working toward an industry standard such as:<br><b>> The Mindful Accreditation</b> (a NHS recognised Charter signed by over 1700 companies) <br>OR<br><b>> Joining Mind’s Wellbeing Index</b> (run by the charity Mind, signatures include PepsiCo, Jaguar Land Rover and the Environment Agency)<br>OR<br><b>> signing the Time To Change Pledge</b> (funded by Department for Health and Comic Relief, run by Mind and Rethink. It has over 500 signatures including Three, Thales, Aviva and Heineken.) </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #404040;">1 in 4 of us will </span>suffer with<span style="color: #404040;"> mental health</span><a href="file:///C:/Users/Matt/Documents/AP-Letter-to-Business-MH-Oct17.docx#_ftn6" name="_ftnref6" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">[6]</span></span></span></span></a><span style="color: #404040;"> at any one time, it can affect anyone at any time and 60% of those are ignited by employers hurting us; not getting the best from us.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; line-height: 107%;">The question is no longer if you can risk the Employment Tribunal or if you can afford the ‘Reasonable Adjustments’. The question now is that with your competition taking on this mental health battle in search of a healthier workforce and 3x the profits, <b>can you really afford not to</b>?</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #404040; line-height: 107%;">If you would like to read more I would ask you have a look at the links referenced and at the Mental Health at Work Report Business in the Community (sponsored by Mercer with support from Royal Mail & Heathrow). If you already have Wellbeing and Mental Health First Aid in place, I would love to hear your success stories so I could ‘sing your praises’ elsewhere.<br>
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br>PLEASE send to your HR team and DARE them to take part in this momentum of change.<br></span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span><br>
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<!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><a href="https://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/BacktoBlog.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Read more of my story at: https://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/BacktoBlog.html</i></span></a><br clear="all">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="file:///C:/Users/Matt/Documents/AP-Letter-to-Business-MH-Oct17.docx#_ftnref6" name="_ftn6" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US"><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">[6]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span lang="EN-US"> https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/about-mental-health</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">If you need help finding support, call the Mind Infoline between 9am and 6pm Monday to Friday on 0300 123 3393 or visit </span><a data-lynx-mode="async" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmind.org.uk%2F&h=ATPTcLsIfQiZ8XRF8nwEmBb5KDXsBVj-4gVDiQ_9AXwUbh6_MELAIdpjWXB5xbLh_Iw95TyzIr4-1do4tFsjCv67-Lbx68VqA5kPuuMljL-TaQx7Liq8SDLyYFL9bZYCHpgzagsnfHgSlpL1VCHvd8GHJylWo2KxmavKtAXJHUfFTGxbxTWsmRTRHA9FM-r8pGXKx-tJkrXHh_3zR3M4Wkj9Pq_oIo7hvVFrbqq0bJcunQ" rel="nofollow noopener" style="background-color: white; color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">mind.org.uk</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> If you want to talk to someone right now, Samaritans provide a listening ear on 116 123</span></span></div>
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In August, I spoke to TalkRadio regarding my experience of workplace <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/mentalhealth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#mentalhealth</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Suicide?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Suicide</a> survival. HEAR MORE:<a href="https://t.co/nBLzJeeP1M">https://t.co/nBLzJeeP1M</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/914879006528430081?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 2, 2017</a></blockquote>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="7" style="background: #FFF; border-radius: 3px; border: 0; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 658px; padding: 0; width: -webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width: 99.375%; width: calc(100% - 2px);">
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ8_up2HRQ0/" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">My story was featured in this @huffpostuk article #workplacediscrimination #WMHD2017 www.MattStreuli.uk #ThriveAfterSuicide #timetochange</a></div>
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A post shared by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2017-10-07T16:12:24+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Oct 7, 2017 at 9:12am PDT</time></div>
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Come see me in this fantastic community panto supported by <a href="https://twitter.com/iverparish?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@iverparish</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/PinewoodStudios?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@PinewoodStudios</a> <a href="https://t.co/OAfUfD1QKq">https://t.co/OAfUfD1QKq</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/935125556231901186?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 27, 2017</a></blockquote>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Slough SL1 7PB, UK51.5231418 -0.6411358999999947631.106407799999996 -41.949729899999994 71.9398758 40.667458100000005tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-67020589976571835932017-08-09T05:30:00.000+01:002017-08-10T12:26:52.878+01:00Employers are 'harming' male mental health!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-qzsclEk_LxnUq68lxFGwp2Al8Gcl1i_lahkK3W8hNcWy_6DZXgRPBnc3Z8DgRNDl3QiYmhxrcJuugDosxq5v2MJ2VkjXDZLcYOE3gZdW1uwtCS4_Ij767BymjeOkRBVa6DBrStwI9M/s1600/b757533f27ccf00f8fb5b6dfc3287037.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="790" data-original-width="880" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju-qzsclEk_LxnUq68lxFGwp2Al8Gcl1i_lahkK3W8hNcWy_6DZXgRPBnc3Z8DgRNDl3QiYmhxrcJuugDosxq5v2MJ2VkjXDZLcYOE3gZdW1uwtCS4_Ij767BymjeOkRBVa6DBrStwI9M/s320/b757533f27ccf00f8fb5b6dfc3287037.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Disposable Workforce? - Pinterest/John Holcroft</td></tr>
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Research released today by <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/minds-media-office/" target="_blank">M</a>ind, the Mental Health Charity in England and Wales, show that men are twice as likely to suffer from mental health issues caused by their job than women. If you've been reading my blog for while, this will resonate with my story. My previous job caused my mental health to diminish until in 2015 when I tried to kill myself.<br />
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I asked for help several times and was signed off work more than once. When I went to the office with the 'latest' sick note and told my senior manager I had been signed off due to stress he replied "No one else has a problem." He even tried to convince me to resign. Despite the reports and advice from the company's appointed Doctor and the evidence from my NHS psychologist and GP, they simply didn't care enough to make minor and cheap changes. <b><i>I felt disposable. I had been injured, my mental health had been made worse to the point of suicide and yet I was made to feel it was my fault.</i></b> How can it be my fault for hitting targets, asking for help and reasonable adjustments while trying to keep on ever increasing piles of work?<br />
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And yet, as shocking as my story might be, it is not a one-off. Stress and other mental health problems are the second biggest cause of sickness absence, accounting for 70 million lost working days every year.<br />
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In 2016 the family of <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-38364596">Dr Rose Polge,</a> 25, called for action to halt the "crisis" affecting trainee doctors after she went missing and took her own life. According to the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-39489007" target="_blank">BBC </a>she is one of three Junior Doctors to go missing or take their own lives related to their employment. One anesthetist wrote on the British Medical Journal website that "<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "interfaceregular" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Just as safety is everyone's business, so is safeguarding friends & colleagues." </span><br />
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Meanwhile, a Psychiatrist from Wales wrote:"<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "interfaceregular" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Every suicide is a potentially preventable tragedy. Each one of my medical school reunions is marked by ... our fellow med students who are no longer with us - we have lost more to suicide than for any other reason"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "interfaceregular" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span> My story is just one of the 15,000 in this research that show this 'disposable' use of humans isn't limited to the medical profession or to office workers; it's an epidemic.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">The research, which comes from a survey of 15,000 employees across 30 organisations, is released as Mind urges employers to sign up to the Workplace Wellbeing Index 2017/18. </span></blockquote>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "interfaceregular" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"></span>The new data from Mind also shows that men are less prepared to seek help and take time off than women. Alarmingly it suggests that although men are more likely to have mental health problems because of their job, women are more likely to open up and seek support from their line manager or employer. <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "interfaceregular" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnqihQslPDdNYHLg2SgYsM18sIg5wzRQ4VPVlSfY8Gb3BXl50q52t556mcB_QtiJQo156_IYeSwdEMpRT9XCMDCgirW2gtsU4iN8XiEJPxrTjE2zJWvkcvqOg118KALF_rjpY-162Z-Lk/s1600/pablo+%25282%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="1024" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnqihQslPDdNYHLg2SgYsM18sIg5wzRQ4VPVlSfY8Gb3BXl50q52t556mcB_QtiJQo156_IYeSwdEMpRT9XCMDCgirW2gtsU4iN8XiEJPxrTjE2zJWvkcvqOg118KALF_rjpY-162Z-Lk/s400/pablo+%25282%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div>
In the end, I took the company to employment <a href="http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1900" target="_blank">tribunal through ACAS </a>but settled before the first hearing. By this point, it was months after ending up on long-term sick and having my pay cut off, I needed the money. Yet all of this, including my ongoing mental health issues, could have been prevented if the adjustments recommended by the company's Doctor weren't ignored or if the ideas in the Workplace Wellbeing Index were adopted.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">(Workplace Wellbeing Index) is a benchmark of best policy and practice when it comes to staff mental health, </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">designed to celebrate the good work employers are doing and to provide key recommendations on the specific areas where there is room to improve. </span></blockquote>
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<b>How can <span style="background-color: #f6d5d9;">forcing</span> Male staff to suicide make business sense when <a href="http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1900" target="_blank">mental health costs employers £30billion</a> PER YEAR?</b></div>
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For every 80p spent on Mental Health promotion, it has been <a href="http://www.mindfulemployer.net/business/cost-business-benefits/" target="_blank">shown</a> to save £4 on costs (sick pay, tribunals, HR interventions, lost business). According to Mind's 2016/2017 Index, 10% of employees rated their current mental health as currently poor or very poor. Over a quarter said this was due to problems at work, not home.<br />
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Thirty organisations have joined the previous Index including the Environment Agency, Jaguar Land Rover, PepsiCo, Deloitte and Barnardo’s. Mind is now calling on forward thinking employers <b>who want a thriving workforce rather than a barely surviving one</b> to sign up and join these companies in the 2017/2018 Index.<br />
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If you are an unconvinced Manager or without-heart in HR, then look at the figures - can you afford not to join the Index?<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">Employers can find</span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> out more at </span><a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/workplace"><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">www.mind.org.uk/workplace</span></a></blockquote>
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<i>Matt Streuli is blogger and Actor based in Iver Heath, on the edge of West London. </i><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/BacktoBlog.html" target="_blank"><i>Read more of his story and what happened next by clicking </i>here.</a><span style="font-size: x-small; font-style: italic;"><br /></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> with thanks to Claire Bennett at Mind's media team. </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">For interviews with <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/minds-media-office/" target="_blank">Mind</a> or myself, please contact the Mind Media Team on 0208 522 1743 or email </span></b><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><a href="mailto:media@mind.org.uk">media@mind.org.uk</a></span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mind, the mental health charity, provides advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding. They won't give up until everyone experiencing a mental health problem gets both support and respect. </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/">www.mind.org.uk</a> <b>I'm proud to be a member.</b></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mind has a confidential information and support line, Mind Infoline, available on 0300 123 3393 (lines open 9am - 6pm, Monday – Friday)<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">In a crisis: Samaritans are open 24/7. Call free from any phone on 116 123</span></li>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com11 N Orbital Rd, Denham, Uxbridge UB9 5EY, UK51.580376525277849 -0.4997062683105468851.570509525277849 -0.5198762683105469 51.590243525277849 -0.47953626831054685tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-61783972843274134542017-08-01T16:48:00.003+01:002017-08-01T16:59:01.700+01:00Why can't you Counsel yourself?<br />
If I was counselling someone else I would of said it, so why didn't I say it?<br />
Emotions can seriously hinder OR enhance your capacity, success and logic. I've derived this all from "you shouldn't apologise for how you feel".<br />
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You are never wrong for feeling how you do. You might feel it and then find out the cause (what you heard, or meant) was in error. You might even learn they didn't mean to say or imply what she did. Even so, it was hard for my logical mind to change my emotional heart; I feel anger, hurt untrusted and oddly guilty.<br />
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I often wonder, after observing others, am I the only one who feels such guilt? Have you felt that?<br />
If everyone else felt such guilt about upsetting people, even when they have right to feel hurt themselves, then wars and the pettiest of arguments wouldn't never come be. <br />
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When it comes to a dispute, I still feel anger and hurt and enormous guilt so I'd much rather crawl back and grovel. Even after all this time its somehow easier sacrificing how I feel and its cause so I can end the pain and make everyone else ok. But then, I could argue that that maybe if I'm the only one feeling great guilt over it, then it is unlikely they feel the same great pain I do. Surely if they felt the same pain they would feel the same guilt over upsetting someone? - Cause and effect?<br />
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Just by reading that last paragraph you can see why we shouldn't counsel ourselves.<br />
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Right now there is someone I think a great deal of having this internal monologue. I've had it many times. Yes, taking all the blame even if it isn't your fault, is the easy option. But that option will eat away at you and slow burn you from the inside out. It will pollute how you see, feel and interact in the world. The right option is honesty. The right option is standing your ground, holding your morals and defending yourself. You are loved and deserve the real love of a good person - not the murky waters you're settling for.<br />
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For those of you who like to put everything in writing, so you can plan and think your feelings, then I recommend contacting the email team of the Samaritans. <br />
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📷 bryantmcgill: Taking care of yourself is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others. —... <a href="https://t.co/ZhifdCIHsm">https://t.co/ZhifdCIHsm</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/891516704366505985">30 July 2017</a></blockquote>
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Oh my blessed relief, I crave you.<br />
A tiny flinch and that combustion is released: a pool forms <br />
and with a wipe, I'm briefly fine.<br />
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#poem<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BWhHeI9Ffyv/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">depression is not a weakness, it is a recognised #mentalhealth issue www.MattStreuli.uk #blogger #sorrynotsorry 😯 #timetochange #timetotalk 🤒 #imnotashamed #sicknotweak #InTheMind #endthestigma #BPD 🖖</a></div>
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A post shared by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2017-07-14T06:47:08+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Jul 13, 2017 at 11:47pm PDT</time></div>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-85547425306869340892017-06-18T19:31:00.000+01:002017-06-18T19:41:16.026+01:00June 2017 Collage<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLNv3ElSOatwMEDhaLTpbav4JjClvETXf4Vbqr8jpFVtB3KBc6AjX8cB5rSy8EzXYsMEgxgiVdCClbL4gtPfg2WwfRtOMLvwRmiU1wbhiOQt0BJwp4Qnpx4AGXCT9bdGmT1rd4AfliLmc/s1600/20170601_093945.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLNv3ElSOatwMEDhaLTpbav4JjClvETXf4Vbqr8jpFVtB3KBc6AjX8cB5rSy8EzXYsMEgxgiVdCClbL4gtPfg2WwfRtOMLvwRmiU1wbhiOQt0BJwp4Qnpx4AGXCT9bdGmT1rd4AfliLmc/s200/20170601_093945.jpg" width="150" /></a>Each month on my re-booted blog, I'm collating a collage.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/162549664176?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1558.l2649" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1132" data-original-width="1600" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja3iFeygW4Iht6NDQUl2xSI5n3sHPwr9_4aWLWC-N8lZXtemhWLo1wTqQPh9_0LRxo3n9KfRdklJrt7janiKXeDGRfAbVHoWSySet9hcO6Z2r6YKZtzmLjAwGmMlyq0KbWo43dQZw3wI8/s200/20170610_154737.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/162549664176?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1558.l2649" target="_blank">Get a custom-message Sweet Jar full of your favourites!<br />Click here to buy from my ebay</a></td></tr>
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I'm going to show a selection of things from my radar and throwback to past posts on my blog. Comment with your favourite and with your suggestions for next month's collage<br />
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Three perfect words. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/GrenfellTower?src=hash">#GrenfellTower</a> <a href="https://t.co/eqBHCCsjxd">https://t.co/eqBHCCsjxd</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/875133790791794690">June 14, 2017</a></blockquote>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BVejGS5FaOD/" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Never tried a deodorant stick before this week, just sprays, but it's tempting to never go back. This Lynx Africa smells awesome and really does stop your pits sweating for 24hrs-ish. It's around £3 at supermarkets but you seem to use less than a spray, so totally worth it. CONS - when a hair gets stuck on it and looks like a pube. - sometimes feels like your rubbing a school glue stick in your armpit #gotitfree #review #lynx #bzzagent #unilever #willreviewanything #freereviews #UK</a></div>
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A post shared by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2017-06-18T10:19:26+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 17px;">Jun 18, 2017 at 3:19am PDT</time></div>
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I'd argue cutting police numbers and railroading the Investigatory Powers Act through Parliament is 'naughtier', Prime Minister <a href="https://t.co/614ahZRUML">https://t.co/614ahZRUML</a></div>
— Tom McArthur (@TomMcArthur) <a href="https://twitter.com/TomMcArthur/status/872019318405509120">June 6, 2017</a></blockquote>
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We need your support<a href="https://t.co/52m15w1j9Y">https://t.co/52m15w1j9Y</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/lollipopman?src=hash">#lollipopman</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/Brakecharity">@Brakecharity</a> <a href="https://t.co/NJ9GbEOhfa">pic.twitter.com/NJ9GbEOhfa</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/867416267082399745">May 24, 2017</a></blockquote>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#ProudChairman #Where'sMyOBE</td></tr>
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<br />MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-61390074660963116872017-06-01T06:45:00.000+01:002017-06-01T17:46:11.667+01:00Back to Blog : Reboot V.2017I knew my Childhood wasn't normal but I certainly didn't dwell on it. Children don't. They can be a lot stronger and more adaptable than we realise, depending on their age and how it is explained to them. My mother was an alcoholic.<br />
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What was a typical day like as a child? Well I got up and went to school. I've never needed a parent to wake me, did it all myself. Couldn't really be bothered with breakfast but I acted old enough to get to school and nag myself to do homework or clean the house.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8exzcBbUNi7Lw3o-8vKsBpgPQ7R-tGXv8oewQ42GitYuj1OjVyosePkXk9Sp2hdwwbIPBTNz0zGqfI0w8oKasXf1ua1Hzgxp5sPwQlBOFoleYyxXjj_3HV8fYJo_mrIM3QnCO0NogILk/s1600/2016-09-06_13h19_02.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="319" data-original-width="416" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8exzcBbUNi7Lw3o-8vKsBpgPQ7R-tGXv8oewQ42GitYuj1OjVyosePkXk9Sp2hdwwbIPBTNz0zGqfI0w8oKasXf1ua1Hzgxp5sPwQlBOFoleYyxXjj_3HV8fYJo_mrIM3QnCO0NogILk/s320/2016-09-06_13h19_02.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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I was her sole carer until she died when I was 13.<br />
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Flash forward to June 2015 and I tried to kill myself. Depression has been an ongoing symptom of my battle with mental health and the discrimination and stigma I have faced, mostly in the workplace, has only exacerbated the problem.<br />
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The main cause of my suicide attempt was stress and workload at work, since we had lost several members of staff without them being replaced, but the trigger was an incident at work where I defended someone I 'saw' as vulnerable but I came under attack. Without consciously knowing it, I needed to look after that vulnerable person just as I did when I was the sole carer for my Mother between the ages of 8 <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(my Step-Mum says it was when I was 10)</span> and 13. She died from alcoholism. My 'damaged' hardware and software of my mind crashed.<br />
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I lasted just over 3 months. The trigger was when I brought something to the attention of my Senior Manager and challenged him, just like we are always being told to. I told him he had offended some of the staff and he replied with "I don't care". It set off the same cascade failure we had seen a few months earlier except this time, I asked for help. When I told that same manager I had been signed off due to work he replied "No one else has a problem." He even tried to convince me to resign. I've seen GPs, my NHS psychologist, I've spoken with solicitors and legal teams at Citizens Advice Bureau and ACAS as well as the fantastic team at MIND. He discriminated against me, I assume because of my disability.<br />
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I self harmed because of him. They knowingly exacerbated my condition. If I didn't ask for help they would have my blood on their hands.<br />
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In the end, with thanks to ACAS, I took the company to an employment tribunal but settled before the first hearing. Part of me wishes I held out just to have my ‘day in court’ but by this point, months after I ended up on long-term sick and having my pay cut off, I needed the money. I went from taken 100+ phone calls a day, handling orders in excess of £1m to being unable to make or take phone calls and crying when trying to handle basic paperwork.<br />
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Almost Two years on I am so much better than when I tried to kill myself, I am will always suffer anxiety and depression linked to my condition (Borderline Personality Disorder).<br />
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I then saw a job offer as a Lollipop Man. Perfect.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcIp9Mt9DfUCAroetRhLfI-Zb2c-Mf2jWQWqEbbyoGX98kCe5xvjHTLFERkVexY0lOYCwOJeHFAsBzVA_VOUfPyj9cK6SkHBenriDEbQUA9N1ldENCag18hY_4ID3BKefTMFIn9zZFt5I/s1600/18588811_10154677115457525_3320878023677885843_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1440" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcIp9Mt9DfUCAroetRhLfI-Zb2c-Mf2jWQWqEbbyoGX98kCe5xvjHTLFERkVexY0lOYCwOJeHFAsBzVA_VOUfPyj9cK6SkHBenriDEbQUA9N1ldENCag18hY_4ID3BKefTMFIn9zZFt5I/s320/18588811_10154677115457525_3320878023677885843_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stop Means Stop!<br />
Failing to stop for a Lollipop Man or Lady is a £1000 fine and 3pts</td></tr>
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A great way to get me out the house, give me reason to wake up and avoid the risks of an office. It hasn’t been easy – I’ve been sworn at, <a href="http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/14461951.VIDEO__Lollipop_patrollers_could_be_armed_with_cameras_after_zebra_crossing_near_miss/" target="_blank">had cars swerve round me </a>and I was even hit by a courier van in February 2017 – but in the last year I’ve become a Teaching Assistant, re-met an old school friend and fell in love with her. MADLY in love. She moved in with me, taken care of me and I proposed to her on New Years 2017. She has given me hope in life and love. <a href="http://www.northdevongazette.co.uk/news/woolacombe-esplanade-cordoned-off-after-builders-find-possible-unexploded-bomb-1-4966929" target="_blank">We've had a few explosive adventures</a>! The council has given me hope in employers again and being one of two male staff at the school has given me a lot of lovely caring mother figures – I can’t get away with anything!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Follow me on Instagram and Twitter - @MattStreuli</td></tr>
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I should also mention how <a href="http://www.getbucks.co.uk/whats-on/drama-club-nearing-end-fantastic-12516546" target="_blank">amazing my drama club has been</a> - giving me love and care of a family of friends as well as a way of self-exploration and desperately needed distraction.<br />
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Despite being busy with road safety and school work, I still write and I aim to reboot this blog. Over the 2 years, I've produced YouTube videos and I have even taken part in Public Speaking to the MoD with Time To Change to actively encourage everyone to speak out and seek help in an attempt to fight the frightening suicide rate, despite my ongoing depression and anxiety. I even help with shortlisting for the Mind Media Awards – this will be my second year. I've even appeared <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jan/25/nhs-panto-dame-recover-attempted-suicide-psychologist" target="_blank">in The Guardian</a> and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/matt-streuli" target="_blank">written for HuffPost</a>.<br />
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I might be a lot poorer than when I worked in that office, but I am happier and physically healthier than ever before.<br />
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<i>BELOW are links to some favourite posts of my past blog. Every view and share is really appreciated. </i></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #5a5a5a;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When I looked at my friend sat on the kerb, I didn't see her. Just how am I to describe it? A hallucination? A flashback? It was like watching a film and suddenly the actress playing my friend was swapped with the one playing my dead mother, but I was the only one who could see it. Why did my head decide this was a helpful thing?</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span><i style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">> <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/i-cannot-do-2015-again.html" target="_blank">http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/i-cannot-do-2015-again.html </a></i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #5a5a5a;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It makes me feel I have achieved something and I'm not failing at life. Having a disability means I'm succeeding in survival. </span><i style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">> </i></span><span style="color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/i-cannot-do-2015-again.html">http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/i-cannot-do-2015-again.html</a></i></span></span></blockquote>
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Bernina Tin VINTAGE full of machine accs<br />
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: <a href="https://t.co/23SgN3rbII">https://t.co/23SgN3rbII</a> via <a href="https://twitter.com/eBay_UK">@eBay_UK</a></div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/868916590208839680">May 28, 2017</a></blockquote>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Slough, UK51.481382896100975 -0.61386108398437551.441848896100971 -0.694542083984375 51.520916896100978 -0.533180083984375tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-58048719962261079162016-09-14T00:11:00.000+01:002016-09-14T00:11:01.771+01:00Review & SignpostingA quick little blog after the hectic for #WSPD World Suicide Prevention Day.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj2aa7cMU52HXob9yUhXPVxzeMiOn9k1CuRw-DHB7i3hqv1AuGIl_ycR3i1iulBmmXLkG9H3vBy8P7FTeQ34KOFVQTOpaCJx4o1-GXkVemtw6W3OMOuOnA7Icyoq6NUqmkI8wTnv6KYnc/s1600/Cr_NTJ8XgAAQbJm.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj2aa7cMU52HXob9yUhXPVxzeMiOn9k1CuRw-DHB7i3hqv1AuGIl_ycR3i1iulBmmXLkG9H3vBy8P7FTeQ34KOFVQTOpaCJx4o1-GXkVemtw6W3OMOuOnA7Icyoq6NUqmkI8wTnv6KYnc/s320/Cr_NTJ8XgAAQbJm.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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The second post was written by a very close friend <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/wspd2016-2.html" target="_blank">Claire Freeman</a>. It was actually refreshing to hear how suicide and the wider mental health subject affects your friends and family; from their viewpoint. We have both had some fantastic feedback and I hope I can encourage her to write for us again soon. Her post is certainly worth a read and share. You can <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/wspd2016-2.html" target="_blank">find it here</a>.<br />
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The <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/wspd2016-1.html" target="_blank">first post</a> was looking at the anger and rage that was expressed online and by the media as Sainsbury's changed their meal deal. It made me angry that people were 'incandescent with rage' over a sandwich and yet not interested in the suicide crisis spreading across the world. Over 70% of UK suicides in 2015 were men. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/wspd2016-1.html" target="_blank">Why are people not furious about this?</a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKV07mbp_nM82jbJyP9xOwmZXuOuHrlxEVKLFWdh4xRjWr_XwvjdUVRD6eZewU8K_4i5pXvA2vXjCF_ZSTo3fjv114m38DrMOUoWxxoa4hvntOWgqtNuNl60Y4wbTcItWrSjofuVIyKv4/s1600/Screenshot_20160910-065404.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKV07mbp_nM82jbJyP9xOwmZXuOuHrlxEVKLFWdh4xRjWr_XwvjdUVRD6eZewU8K_4i5pXvA2vXjCF_ZSTo3fjv114m38DrMOUoWxxoa4hvntOWgqtNuNl60Y4wbTcItWrSjofuVIyKv4/s200/Screenshot_20160910-065404.jpg" width="129" /></a><br />
Finally, I also wrote a post for <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/matt-streuli/world-suicide-prevention-day_b_11872956.html?" target="_blank">The Huffington Post's Lifestyle </a>section called '<i>How Can We Prevent Our Suicide Crisis?' </i>which you <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/matt-streuli/world-suicide-prevention-day_b_11872956.html?" target="_blank">can read by clicking here</a>.<br />
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Before I wrap up, I just wanted to highlight something called signposting. Before I saught help from my Doctor, I spent a lot of time reading and researching different aspects of mental health. Last week was the culmination of weeks of work, reading or listening submissions, for the Mind Media Awards. All of the entries I saw were fantastic and deserve a wider audience - some already have a much bigger audience than this silly little blog ever will. The biggest point that it is worth noting is that we all need to do more 'signposting'. This is where at the end of te bog or article you suggest some further reading - I tend to offer my social media but below is brilliant example. It is a truely vital element of mental health awareness, not just leaving your audience to fumble on but to guide them onto other posts or supportive websites. Perhaps you could check out these charities as well as some of my other websites and posts.<br />
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">SIGNPOSTING - </strong><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem;">Useful websites and helplines</span><strong style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem;">:</strong></div>
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<li><strong style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":7,"plid":"http://samaritans.org/"}}" href="http://samaritans.org/" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #2e7061;" target="_hplink">Samaritans</a></strong><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> </span>offers<span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on </span><strong style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">116 123 </strong><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">(UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill.)</span></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":8,"plid":"http://www.mind.org.uk/"}}" href="http://www.mind.org.uk/" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #2e7061;" target="_hplink">Mind</a></strong>, (I'm a proud member and volunteer) are open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">0300 123 3393</strong></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) </strong><span style="box-sizing: inherit;">is a registered charity, which exists to prevent male suicide in the UK. Call 0800 58 58 58 or visit <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":9,"plid":"http://www.thecalmzone.net/"}}" href="http://www.thecalmzone.net/" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #2e7061;" target="_hplink">thecalmzone.net</a></span></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":10,"plid":"http://www.themix.org.uk/"}}" href="http://www.themix.org.uk/" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #2e7061;" target="_hplink">The Mix</a></strong> is a free advice service for people under 25. Call <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">0808 808 4994</strong> or email: help@getconnected.org.uk</li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":11,"plid":"http://www.papyrus-uk.org/"}}" href="http://www.papyrus-uk.org/" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #2e7061;" target="_hplink">HopeLine</a></strong> runs a confidential advice helpline if you are a young person at risk of suicide or are worried about a young person at risk of suicide. Mon-Fri 10-5pm and 7pm-10pm. Weekends 2pm-5pm on <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">0800 068 41 41</strong></li>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BKI-O8OgNYu/" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">#startrek #catsofinstagram www.MattStreuli.uk #blogger #cats #kitten #llap #startrek50</a></div>
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A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2016-09-09T15:27:55+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Sep 9, 2016 at 8:27am PDT</time></div>
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5 things you can do *right now* if you're feeling suicidal <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WSPD?src=hash">#WSPD</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WorldSuicidePreventionDay?src=hash">#WorldSuicidePreventionDay</a> <a href="https://t.co/vDF6DGOn35">https://t.co/vDF6DGOn35</a> <a href="https://t.co/WKHjtUxKPp">pic.twitter.com/WKHjtUxKPp</a></div>
— Mind (@MindCharity) <a href="https://twitter.com/MindCharity/status/774231077196095489">September 9, 2016</a></blockquote>
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<br />MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Bristol, UK51.454513 -2.587909999999965351.296248 -2.9106334999999652 51.612778 -2.2651864999999654tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-49130562560663534182016-09-09T07:13:00.000+01:002016-09-09T07:13:27.642+01:00Mental Health:How does it affect loved ones? #WSPD<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">This week my blog features two posts. In the </span><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/wspd2016-1.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">first post</span></a><span style="font-size: xx-small;">, I followed on from </span></span><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/mensilentlysuffersuicide.html" style="color: #156dc0; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 14px; text-decoration: none;">last week</a><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">by looking into the suicide crisis and importantly where is the anger and scandal around it. In this post, my close friend</span><span style="color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> Claire Freeman looks at mental health and suicide from another perspective; a friend or relative watching on and the feeling of being somewhat powerless. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.iasp.info/wspd/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="64" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF5bDDZAtWPcx4nRWDm4jF2igws_CI1y0K4eSdZna_KaAjeNzxHQuJ7Tf3Y4GoMYugVVvgD1PS3LMQUn-2_AHqUjBx017a43AP7ioCgsuZw2sL8Dr1OTXbM3EMxL67nWlB9UGF3DNq0jo/s320/2016-09-08_17h10_01.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><b style="color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; line-height: 20.79px;">#WSPD - Post Two</b></span><br />
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As we approach World Suicide Prevention Day on 10th September it seems time to reflect on everybody who is affected by mental health, including the friends and families supporting their loved ones battling with their mental health illnesses.<br />
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It is a sad fact that there just isn’t enough support and care available for mental health and yet surely this is equally important as our physical health? The NHS and supporting charities such as MIND do fantastic work with the financial support and resources that they get but sadly it’s not enough and suicide rates are still too high with one death every 40 seconds. This is leading to pressures on emergency services such as when Police cells are being used as a ‘safe place’ due to a lack of NHS beds.</div>
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Being a family member or friend to someone with a mental illness is a difficult, stressful and frustrating situation. Firstly, it will always be a challenge to understand how the person is feeling and it’s a big pressure to try and help. It isn’t always easy to know what the best method of support is and all you want to do is improve the situation for your loved one even when sometimes they won’t or can’t seem to accept that help. They feel like they are a burden and want to shut everyone out to protect them but those on the outside just want to help to make it better.<br />
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The next hurdle is actually getting your loved one the help they need and deserve. With rates of suicide as high as they are, prevention rather than just trying to deal with emergencies is the key. Unfortunately, with what seems like a stretched health care system, this help is harder to come by. Counselling, GP appointments, crisis hotlines, hospital beds and medications are all viable and good resources however for most are not available when required. It is either refused completely or a waiting list is too long that it can come too late.<br />
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This is proved by an incident that occurred on this week when I was alerted by a woman outside my home screaming and crying. I instantly ran outside to see if I could help and found her on the phone to the emergency services after her brother had tried to take his life. She was distraught. I have never seen anyone so scared, anxious and inconsolable. You could physically see her heart breaking as she tried to get help from the emergency services. As she became angrier, she began venting about how the family had been asking for help and support and had continually been let down. When asking for him to be helped it was never an ‘emergency’. That one word made me feel sick. </div>
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My family and I have personal experience in trying to get help for a loved one suffering with a mental health condition. My Grandad battled Manic Depression, now referred to as Bipolar Disorder, for the majority of his adult life. As a child, I wouldn’t have been aware but as I grew up and became more able to understand, the true nature of living with a mental illness became apparent. I know from speaking to family members that spanning over decades they struggled to get the help that was needed to improve Grandad’s quality of life. His condition was always going to be there but there were periods of time when it became more manageable due to medication etc. However, the threat of suicide had always played a part. This pattern of peaks and troughs with his illness continued throughout his life and when it was bad, it was really bad. I don’t think anyone can comprehend just how lonely and dark the world must seem to feel when the only answer is to leave it. Watching someone you love and care for actually suffer in that manner is heartbreaking. The mixture of emotions and feelings for those who have to watch on is incredible. You are upset that your loved one is hurting, you are angry and frustrated that you can’t help, you are confused as you try to even begin to understand how and why they feel that way. You can see all the positives in their lives. They have a good job, a home, a network of friends and they have you. You adore them so why is that not enough? This is perhaps the hardest part. Being able to accept that whilst they do have all those things they sadly can’t see or feel that when their illness is at its worst. You may love them to the ends of the earth but they can’t understand that because usually, they don’t see why anyone would.</div>
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In some ways our family was lucky. Although it took far too long and lots of battling we did get help along the way and the care Grandad did receive was on the whole great. He spent time in hospital on the psychiatric ward with counselling and alternative treatments. He was regularly given medication to try and manage his illness. Although I say we are lucky, is this not what we should expect? If someone had a physical illness such as Diabetes they would receive that care no questions asked. So why when it’s a mental health condition does this seem to be a struggle to get and if received it is felt to be a big win?<br />
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As a family, in my opinion, we were let down too often in the end. Grandad was the worse I had ever seen him which was extremely hard to swallow when he had previously been doing really well. So what had changed? His prescription. For some unknown reason when he saw a GP that Doctor made a decision that would affect us all in ways he could never have imagined. Grandad had been better than he had been for a long time. His prescription had been working great so what did this GP do? Changed it. We will never understand why that was deemed appropriate. Surely if something is working for a patient, and they are not harmed by what and the amount of the drugs they are given, you would leave well enough alone. As soon as this was done we were back to square one and the illness became awful for Grandad and for us around him. It was the worst time for all involved as every day was torturous for him and we were helpless to stop it. We started pushing for help again but this time, we were faced with even more struggle to get it. He needed to be in a safe place like a hospital where he could get the right support but instead, he was at home. He was a risk to himself and my Nan, an elderly woman, trying to cope. She lived every day wondering if he would be there still as he made many threats and attempts to his life. Upon calling a crisis line she was told ‘it isn’t an emergency’ because he was only about to hurt himself but he hadn’t yet. When does it become an emergency then? Once they have actually hurt themselves and it is too late? </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">evanlavine/flickr</td></tr>
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Sadly for our family that was the case and my Grandad did commit suicide. At that point, it was treated as an emergency and suddenly everyone appears to help; Police, NHS, Crisis lines. But it’s all too late. I remember upon hearing the news the expected feeling of upset and grief came over me. However, what I vividly remember was also a sense of anger. Anger at the situation, anger that we couldn’t do more to of helped, anger that when asking for help he didn’t always get it and anger that he had done this and left us to deal with the consequences. Of course the anger towards him soon faded when I considered how awful it must have been for him. People say suicide is selfish because of the impact it has on others but I say is it? When someone makes that decision they are in the worse place they could be, a place most of us will hopefully never have to experience, and feel this is the best for everyone. Whether right or wrong in their logic I think it’s far from selfish. </div>
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This is why when I met that poor young lady on Tuesday my heart went to her. Nearly 10 years after my family battled to get the right preventative action I could see another family experiencing the exact same. Actually, now it is probably worse. We have more people than ever needing the support and care that could prevent families all over the UK from going through what mine did. As I watched on and tried to help this complete stranger, I felt I knew her. I really could put myself in her shoes. Hopefully for that family this will be the ‘emergency’ that will get the young man the help he needs.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">flickr / creatinginthedark</td></tr>
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Overall the message to take with us all is that at some point it is likely that mental illnesses or suicide will touch our lives in some way. For those who suffer with an illness personally you are not alone even if it may feel that way. Use what energy you have to fight and ask for the help you deserve. Try and let your friends and families in and let them take some of the load. You are not a burden. You are their world. And to those who have a loved one with a mental illness, stay strong and be there even when that person pushes you away. Help them to get counselling or encourage them to go to charity websites such as MIND to get advice on self-help. Try and get that person support early on and don’t feel bad for nagging the health services, they are stretched but they are fantastic at what they do.</div>
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Prevention by helping those in need far earlier in their illness could drastically reduce the number of families to experience what mine did. Action needs to be taken by the government to help mental health services with more doctors, counsellors and beds in wards where needed but also to teach self-help in schools etc. and really educate our next generations on how to look after themselves and each other. If we can ensure mental health stops being a taboo, then maybe we have a chance of fighting it more effectively.<br />
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<i><b>Written by <a href="https://twitter.com/clairelouisef89" target="_blank">Claire Freeman</a></b></i></div>
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<b style="color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 20.79px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/wspd2016-1.html" target="_blank">#WSPD - Click here for Post One</a></span></b></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #222222; font-style: italic; line-height: 27px;">Resources for employers and schools can be found at </span><a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":4,"plid":"http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/"}}" href="http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #2e7061; font-style: italic; line-height: 27px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">www.time-to-change.org.uk</a> </span><br />
<em style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;">In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. </span></em><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #5a5a5a; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;"><em style="color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is </em><a class="u-underline" data-link-name="in body link" href="tel:1-800-273-8255" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom: 0.0625rem solid rgb(220, 220, 220); color: #005689; cursor: pointer; line-height: 24px; text-decoration: none !important; transition: border-color 0.15s ease-out;"><em>1-800-273-8255</em></a><em style="color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">. </em></span><br />
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<em style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 24px;">In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Hotlines in other countries </em><a class="u-underline" data-link-name="in body link" href="http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom: 0.0625rem solid rgb(220, 220, 220); color: #005689; cursor: pointer; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 24px; text-decoration: none !important; transition: border-color 0.15s ease-out;"><em>can be found here</em></a><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></div>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
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This is what happens when your phone is left unattended in a Panto changing room! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Panto?src=hash">#Panto</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/dame?src=hash">#dame</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli">@mattstreuli</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/IHDC">@IHDC</a> <a href="https://t.co/e5fFigXfCz">pic.twitter.com/e5fFigXfCz</a></div>
— Claire (@clairelouisef89) <a href="https://twitter.com/clairelouisef89/status/691614058152353792">January 25, 2016</a></blockquote>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0Loudwater, UK51.610440999999987 -0.701444000000037751.571010499999986 -0.78212500000003771 51.649871499999989 -0.6207630000000377tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-16528826907884297172016-09-07T00:05:00.000+01:002016-09-08T18:07:50.644+01:00Where is the Anger? #WSPD<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Saturday 10 September is World Suicide Prevention Day. <br />This week my blog features two posts. First, I will try to follow on from <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/mensilentlysuffersuicide.html">last week's post</a> looking into the suicide crisis and importantly where is the anger and scandal around it. My <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2016/09/wspd2016-2.html" target="_blank">second <b>#WSPD</b> post</a> follows in a few days. Written by <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2016/09/wspd2016-2.html" target="_blank">Claire Freeman</a> it shows mental health and suicide from another perspective; a friend or relative watching on and being somewhat powerless. A third post is due on the Huffington Post shortly.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirtkSzl7LAoUgh-I2nBrWSCY2OuvP16XnF3H2qKGhOW598ZraVe1lr0WzxKQQbADISM65SPJH89HRu_bgbTgp7Cu62xo3CRJWh__M5-HhZ1TD8Phf_xxVLdl9eeMe-cPOUtqHaqA7wiXk/s1600/2016-09-06_13h59_49.png" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirtkSzl7LAoUgh-I2nBrWSCY2OuvP16XnF3H2qKGhOW598ZraVe1lr0WzxKQQbADISM65SPJH89HRu_bgbTgp7Cu62xo3CRJWh__M5-HhZ1TD8Phf_xxVLdl9eeMe-cPOUtqHaqA7wiXk/s320/2016-09-06_13h59_49.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanks to BBC NEWS</td></tr>
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<b>#WSPD - Post One</b><br />
Sainsbury's have changed their supplier for sandwiches and rolls. This means that £3 may have got you a premium wrap or sandwich last week, this week it is something a little more basic.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQhZETAREli-p0-3fN8rYZo9zSeLQZsAcsXpfy6ty9CredtoM2lYz9m7VvUdE8rHqJlcePuti3YCrWgaIF_pnb3ccm43CufqvnqyA8Pz-6dghMWpoJmIGJ1Ydez891GKHABEWAEDUUZw/s1600/2016-09-06_17h11_06.png" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQhZETAREli-p0-3fN8rYZo9zSeLQZsAcsXpfy6ty9CredtoM2lYz9m7VvUdE8rHqJlcePuti3YCrWgaIF_pnb3ccm43CufqvnqyA8Pz-6dghMWpoJmIGJ1Ydez891GKHABEWAEDUUZw/s200/2016-09-06_17h11_06.png" width="200" /></a>We all like a routine and previously you could get a pretty nice pasta pot, pack of crisps and a drink all for £3.00. With very little warning, today its basic bread and sandwich filling - or pay more. The masses are upset. On The Telegraph's website, 52% (as of 6/9/16) were "Incandescent with rage"<br />
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Many of us rely on good meal deals like this so of course social erupted this morning as people popped into their local store en route to the desk. The tweets are perfect for news outlets who love the juicy words they can unleash like 'fury' and 'anger'.<br />
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In fact <a href="https://twitter.com/rosieprocter_/status/773056108533583872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@RosieProctor_</a> was 'outraged' that her normal meal was an extra '90p'.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Evening Standard Online</td></tr>
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I don't particularly like change and I can honestly admit that if I was a relying on a supermarket meal deal for my lunch, I too would be annoyed enough to fire off a tweet and an emoji or two.<br />
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That said, I wouldn't be perturbed enough to use words like 'fury' or 'outrage'. I reserve those words for the big deals; mental health and suicide.<br />
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The rate of suicide is alarmingly high, particularly in men. We lose a man to suicide every minute of every day.<br />
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Am I the only one furious that we live in a world where men would rather kill themselves than live? </blockquote>
The World Health Organization estimates that over 800,000 people die by suicide each year – that’s one person every 40 seconds. Up to 25 times as many again make a suicide attempt. The NHS does a wonderful job but we need much earlier intervention, we need employers to take responsibility and when people ask for help we need quick, within days, talking therapy. Even education of mindfulness at school age, before the stress of GCSEs, would be a start. It is estimated that about one in six of the adult population will have a significant mental health problem at any one time, (more than 7 million people in the UK).<br />
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The tragic ripple effect means that there are many, many more people who have been bereaved by suicide or have been near someone who has tried to take his or her own life</div>
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So where is the 'fury' about suicide?<br />
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Where is the anger when patients are kept in Police cars and Police cells due to a lack of NHS beds? Where is the fury when families are told "Sorry, we can't help" when a loved one is making death threats?<br />
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<a href="https://66.media.tumblr.com/e5686b7dc9f97b302d2675e804c0ef85/tumblr_o121jk3Uue1r000uao1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://66.media.tumblr.com/e5686b7dc9f97b302d2675e804c0ef85/tumblr_o121jk3Uue1r000uao1_1280.png" width="200" /></a>In my <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/mensilentlysuffersuicide.html" target="_blank">last post</a>, I highlighted the void in suicide rates by gender, especially here in the UK. The suicide rate for women has steadily gone down over the past 50 to 60 years whilst men have wobbled and remained pretty much the same. I even went on to ponder what women have done to get on top of this battle and how does man follow suit? Is it a clever tactic we can emulate or are men so different from women we have to find a different solution?<br />
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I feel a frustration, which you can probably see echoing throughout this blog. Am I the only one furious that we live in a world where men would rather kill themselves than live? How can we live in a world that isn't shocked by this and isn't fighting to put it right? As I touched on last week, things have improved but we are not on the moon yet; in fact, we are barely off the ground.<br />
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If nothing else, by sharing this blog and similar tweets this World Suicide Prevention Day, you can raise awareness of how bad the crisis truly is. Perhaps that will ignite the incandescent fury required to make the media grab this problem. Everyone has ups and downs and talking about them, sharing them, is a key role in recovery but also preventative care. Suicide is the biggest killer of men aged 45 and under in the UK. How can we live in a country where that is the norm?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Until we all spark the anger and set this battle trending, the NHS will remain swamped and men will continue to silently kill themselves.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Matt Streuli is a Time To Change Champion and a media volunteer for MIND. He is available for consultation and public speaking events <a href="http://www.mattstreuli.uk/" target="_blank">via his main website: www.MattStreuli.uk</a> </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.com/2016/09/wspd2016-2.html" target="_blank">Read POST TWO for #WSPD16 here</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: x-small; font-style: italic; line-height: 27px;">Resources for employers and schools can be found at </span><a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":4,"plid":"http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/"}}" href="http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #2e7061; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: small; font-style: italic; line-height: 27px;" target="_hplink">www.time-to-change.org.uk</a><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span> <em style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. </span></em><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><em style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is </em><a class="u-underline" data-link-name="in body link" href="tel:1-800-273-8255" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom: 0.0625rem solid rgb(220, 220, 220); color: #005689; cursor: pointer; line-height: 24px; text-decoration: none !important; transition: border-color 0.15s ease-out;"><em>1-800-273-8255</em></a><em style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">. </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><em style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Hotlines in other countries </em><a class="u-underline" data-link-name="in body link" href="http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom: 0.0625rem solid rgb(220, 220, 220); color: #005689; cursor: pointer; line-height: 24px; text-decoration: none !important; transition: border-color 0.15s ease-out;"><em>can be found here</em></a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">A video posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2016-09-06T20:21:14+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Sep 6, 2016 at 1:21pm PDT</time></span></div>
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A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2016-09-06T12:07:20+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Sep 6, 2016 at 5:07am PDT</time></div>
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I hold and fester in hurt and anger much longer than I should. <br />
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I feel it's unfair. Yet I feel I deserve it</div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/772455270953910274">September 4, 2016</a></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Thank you for reading and sharing my blog. Every view, comment and retweet really does matter to me and it really can help fight the stigma around mental health. If one person seeks earlier help or you feel better able to help those with mental illness, that's a life saved. And that makes all the effort and cost worth it.</span></div>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0South Bucks District, UK51.492841213197785 -0.4972123808593096351.413806213197788 -0.65857388085930957 51.571876213197783 -0.33585088085930964tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1487526038566898150.post-89927596895634627102016-08-31T00:19:00.001+01:002016-08-31T00:19:29.432+01:00We've come far but still men silently suffer suicideIn 1973, security at the BBC took 3 hours to decide whether to let in an invited interview guest for Radio 4's TODAY programme who, as a patient himself, was founding a union for mental health patients. In 1974 the US Civil Service finally backed down and removed the question "Have you ever been mentally ill?" from Government employment forms. Only a few years earlier had the fearsome US mental institutions we now picture in nightmares had started to close after a court had ruled it was unjust to make <strike>inmates</strike> patients work for free. With the economic issues in the UK, institutes were closed but this was abandoning and leaving people without the education or just simply too ill to survive or thrive in Thatcher's Britain.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A 1970s Office at the Cambridge Museum of Computing</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Poor <a class="g-profile" href="https://plus.google.com/114613201766354698909" target="_blank">+ashens</a> - <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Click for full screen!</span></td></tr>
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It took 66 years from the first powered flight to humanity landing on the moon. The pace of advancement is amazing. In 1976 the Queen sent her first email. A few years later the Commodore PET appears with an amazing 8KB of memory. Here we are 40 years later and I'm typing this blog on a laptop which is smaller, lighter, half the price (ignoring inflation) with 8GB of RAM. In 40 years humanity's advancement means my computer is cheaper and has a mind boggling 1,048,576 times the memory. Our advancement also means I get several hundred more emails a week than Queenie did in 1976 with over 70% of them landing in my spam folder for their 'unique' content.<br />
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In 2015, more than half the ambulance call-outs to York university students are for self harm. Tabloids no longer shout about teenage pregnancy rates but instead that more teens are self-harming than ever before. In <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/ABullyandaRing.html" target="_blank">my last post</a> I explained how some unfair and extremely rude behaviour nearly pulled down all my progress in my own <a href="http://mattstreuli.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/ABullyandaRing.html" target="_blank">EUPD/BPD</a> battles.<br />
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<i>"It’s morally repugnant to neglect mental health, but it is also economically stupid, with its cost to the economy. The fact is, we’re not smart on how we spend money. We spend a fortune, rather than preventing it at the start.”</i> - Norman Lamb MP</blockquote>
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Over the past decade, the trend has become more and more pronounced; more young men are dying by than own hand than through drugs, traffic accidents or heart disease. For UK women, suicide rates dropped over the 1960s and into the 1970's and have stayed steadily low even dropping slightly lower. Suicide rates for UK men slightly dropped in the 1970s, <a href="http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/176/1/64" target="_blank">partially credited due to cleaner engine exhausts</a>, but steadily grew since creating the large gap between men and women. According to the World Health Organisation data, UK women have their lowest suicide rate ever whilst our men have shown little improvement compared to 40 or even 60 years ago.<br />
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<i>More young men are dying by than own hand than through drugs, traffic accidents or heart disease.</i></blockquote>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In other news... we now have two cats! Video below!</td></tr>
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Why is there a gap? How has the fight become so lopsided?<br />
Or are Women just better when it comes to mental health or the stress of our modern world than men?<br />
Are they better are confronting it, handling it and as such discussing it?<br />
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“<i>in the medical community, you would never deny a diabetic his insulin</i>.” - Kristen Bell, <span style="font-size: x-small;">Actress who plays Princess Anna in <i>Frozen</i> and has Depression and Anxiety.</span></blockquote>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Join @bluesmudge and <br />@mattstreuli on twitter</td></tr>
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I simply have no idea. I just know we need to do more. Please use this chance to flick back through the past weeks of my blog; you can see the most viewed articles in the left-hand sidebar which feature my own battles with depression, self-harm, anxiety, workplace discrimination, speaking in the media and public and being diagnosed with a mental health illness. Would my story been drastically different if I didn't have a penis? Or is it just that society may of treated me slightly differently and I may have been more willing to seek help sooner? I read the blogs and watch the vlogs of fellow mental health advocates (such as <a href="https://t.co/J9GDauxoTO" target="_blank">Laura's vlog</a> below), sometimes with some envy at how well they can express and articulate their feelings, story and situation. My GCSEs and A Levels tell me that I am a smart enough person but is there something in my male nature or my nurture that prevents me and my fellow men from achieving the same? Or do we not generate the same response from the media or public? Is this discussion sexist for suggesting that women are better at emotional regulation or discussing and resolving mental health issues than men? I don't mean to cause offense but the evidence is all repeated in stats and graphs all over my blog. <br /><br />PLEASE Comment here or on my facebook page with your thoughts.<br />
Is now the time for local "Time to Change" action groups to just simply highlight the matter and signpost the options for everyone? Including the silently suicidal men?<br />
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Just before I go, thank you to everyone who has clicked DONATE below - every penny really helps. As you may of seen from my social media, links below, I have my first professional feature-length acting role and I'm excited to share it with you. <a href="http://theslaughteredbird.com/shooting-starts-dogged/" target="_blank">You can see more here: <span style="background-color: red;">DOGGED</span></a> <br />
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I liked a <a href="https://twitter.com/YouTube">@YouTube</a> video from <a href="https://twitter.com/Lozzamogz">@lozzamogz</a> <a href="https://t.co/J9GDauxoTO">https://t.co/J9GDauxoTO</a> My Piece for BBC Inside Out (Laura's Story)</div>
— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattstreuli/status/769984756838703105">August 28, 2016</a></blockquote>
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A video posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on <time datetime="2016-08-29T23:40:56+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Aug 29, 2016 at 4:40pm PDT</time></div>
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MattStreuli.ukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11623594025328235322noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.50190410761811 -0.4147338867187551.422878107618111 -0.57609538671874994 51.580930107618109 -0.25337238671875