Why did Mrs May keep that Hunt? AND I made a stressful phone call!

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Perhaps it is a sign of my improving and more stable mental health but last week we discussed how our new Prime Minister, Theresa May, might actually be good in the fight for mental health equality and care.

In 2012 she said “I think it’s important to do a good job and not to feel that you’ve got to make grand gestures, but just to get on and deliver.” It is that sort of ethos that encourage such enthusiasm in her last week. My post was met with some mixed comments . There are some of you older and undoubtedly wiser than moi who are right to be cynical and less willing to actually have hope let alone faith in any politician.

Then I felt a bit stupid. While others lost their headline posts or swapped them, Jeremy Hunt was kept in his position in Mrs May's new cabinet. It is very hard to find anyone within the NHS who thinks he has done a good job - most believe he has made the NHS debt considerably worse let alone what he has done to our NHS workforce. In fact it was only a few months ago I encouraged us all to rise up and depose Jeremy Hunt to support the NHS staff who support and save us.

Mr Hunt must be rubbing his hands with glee; surely this is a license to carry on deconstructing our NHS (and what little Mental Health services we have)? Actually, I think it is the polar opposite. I think it is really clever. Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt were two key leaders in the Brexit camp which made claims such as an extra £300million a week for the NHS and now they are both in key brexit related roles they have to provide it. If they struggle and fail then it reflects awfully on brexit, highlighting even more 'porky pies' voters put their faith in. Failure to completely achieve goal proves Mrs May and the Remain camp right and gives her the impetus to say; you only got this far due to the efforts of the remain camp like me. If they succeed, which I think is a very hard challenge, then Mrs May can still claim the leadership crown. It is in Jeremy's interest to get the Brexit MPs to secure his funding and rebuild the very NHS he has crippled - even partial failure will destroy what is left of him and Mrs May again swoops in to save the day.

Still putting politics and the big picture to one side, its time to focus on the smaller picture; ME!

I started this blog as a way to process what I think and feel. If you write something down, you can than better view it and almost answer it as if you were a friend giving advice or just a fresh external set of eyes. Being able to discuss bigger picture issues such as our new Prime Minister is great but it relegates my own mental health battle to the social media posts I embed at the end of each blog edition.

There was a time where I never made or took person phone calls. To start I'll point out that I still very much struggle to answer the phone. Even if it is a close friend or family, I'd rather ignore the call and leave it to my answering machine. Making a call is easier and something I have been getting better at. When you make a call, you are in charge of the subject and the aim of the call - something you lose vice versa.

On Saturday, we awoke to the email that LowCostHolidays had entered administration. There was a time in my life where this would of left me emotionally falling into a black patch. Yet I remained calm. There was a time in my life I would of slowly become overwhelmed with panic. Yet everything felt in control. Accepting that there is only so much you can do is easy to say but liberating when you achieve it. Thankfully we bought our holiday on my credit card so the money should be easy enough to get back from them; so much so we have already replaced the cancelled hotel and transfers on a like-for-like basis with a different travel agent.

The reason for the Nelson Mandela quote? There was a time where I tried to kill myself and honestly didn't know if I could survive life anymore. As I hinted in the 'comic book' cover for the last week, our minds are still prehistoric and not quite 'designed' for the chaos, stress and stigma of the 21st century. It was only a few months ago that I couldn't face making a phone call, yet over time I've re learnt and readjusted. I can call the Police or, in the recent example, the credit card company. If you stroll back through the a few months of this blog you can see my condition gradually deteriorated as I fought workplace discrimination, stress and stigma as well as my own mind. In the end I didn't know what my future could even be, let alone if I would ever work or contribute anything again. My continuing work as Chairman of the drama club, the local lollipop man, writing this blog and working with Time to Change and, a key part, volunteering at a local infant school has really helped me readjust and awaken to the real world. You have really helped too through reading and sharing my blog, clicking adverts or my own links to social media and even watching my YouTube or resharing my tweets. Every little action not only supports silly old me, but helps fight the good fight for the mental health services, support and care an equal and just society like ours should have in the 21st Century.

Finally, a huge thank you to all of you who share that goal, optimism or belief and nominated me for the Mind Awards. Regardless of what happens - it means alot.

Whether you are enjoying Summer at home or on holiday, be safe and look after and love yourself and your closest friend. You are brilliant. You can do it.
With your help we can go viral and fight the right fight. It will only seem impossible until we all do it. Together, as one.

Please like/share and support my Social Media

Hi @MoneySavingExp @MartinSLewis Just wanted to say how good @resort_hoppa @arrive_happy & @Barclaycard have been with #lowcostholidays #5*

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) July 16, 2016

You are loved. www.MattStreuli.uk #blogger #mentalhealth #inspiration

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on Jul 15, 2016 at 3:51pm PDT

It's Good now... Surely I will falter again?

Sometimes this blog quietly ticks over. Other times, it goes slightly viral. Last week I discussed how I saw my alcoholic Mum, despite the fact she died some thirteen years ago. Within days, partly thanks to Mental Health Awareness Week, it became my 4th most popular post of all times. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for reading and sharing my blog and website - not only does it help fight stigma and raise awareness but every click helps my ad revenue. It might only be a few pence but it really does make a difference when you have so little income and no support from the benefit system.

Carrying on from last week, it took a few days for me to return to any sort of normality. I've been slightly low for almost a week but think I'm back to normal. Well, as normal as I can be. That normal is also about to change. I know it was only three-ish weeks ago that 'Blue Smudge' and I started dating but its just falling into place and clicked so well. So, I've asked her to move in. Having her around makes me feel like I share the burden of my life - she's so good at keeping track of me and organising things. Before my life fell apart last year (discrimination at work, stress and a suicide attempt) I had been lucky and organised enough to buy and run my own flat which I've really struggled by myself.

In other news, my Z-list minor celebrity fame is on the rise and in a good way too. I've had a few locals contact me or speak to me in person in regards to mental health in education and in the workplace. School Counsellors have been a 'norm' in the US for at least a decade but are only starting to appear here. I went to Chalfonts Community College where, through hard work and help from charity counsellors, I gained 12 GCSEs and 3 A Levels. I am ecstatic to hear my old secondary school now has a counsellor however, 1 counsellor for 1800 students is like climbing up a waterfall. It is the right direction and I truly think that a key part of preventing the crisis we are suffering from growing any further is education and early intervention and support in education.  Given the chaos and stress of modern education is it any wonder when our poor students fall apart at exam time? Perhaps with better education more students would thrive into university than collapse. I would love to go into more schools and speak not just with students but also with teachers and staff about looking after the mind, in just the same way we have all been focused on taking better care of our bodies.

It is also worth saying that whether I am in #LollipopMan mode, or mental health blogger or just being Chairman of the drama club; I am always willing to openly and honestly talk about mental health and male suicide including my own experience - so never worry about talking to me. Come say Hi :)

Notice the segway there? Every Wednesday I have been directing the Youth play. My cast have been working really hard and seem to relish in fun and limelight having their own show gives them. The ideas and laughter have been great fun. I must also say a big thanks to Terry, Vikki with Conor, Josh and Les who have worked so hard with my amazing lighting, sound and scenery. Luda has been brilliant with the costumes, something I'm not good with! I've also had good support from Kiera, Carol and my pretty Girlfriend. The play is one of two being performed at my summer show - one by the Youth and one by the Adults. Both are really funny and have had a lot of work put into them. From my mental health perspective, sometimes drama is big cause of stress. Cast missing throws me and my plans into the air. However, it is always worth the fight as these youngsters deserve the benefits of drama and indoctrination into the big community spirit. Most of all though, they make me laugh my freaking buttocks off! The show is in less than two weeks and you can buy tickets now at www.ihdc.co.uk or direct from www.ticketsource.co.uk/IHDC

Follow the fun on Instagram @matthewstreuli

"A soulmate is someone who appreciates your level of weird"  - Bill Murray 

Before I wrap up and leave you with my media highlights (they are always at the bottom of my posts so please do have a browse!) I just wanted to explore how I feel about trying to return to work. It is something that has come up a few times with my parents and friends trying to encourage me back into a full time job and career. Perhaps I am being a slob but I really don't want to. I've touched upon this in past posts but I'm convinced I will fail. The moment a stressful day comes along I will break. I am broken. At the moment, if I am failing and falling I can just isolate like I did last week (see my last post) with minimal consequences or letting anyone down. In the world of mental health, people are a lot more understanding and forgiving of such failures. I know what you are thinking, failures is a strong word, but it is exactly how I feel. I wonder if I have typed this hundreds of times but, if I was hearing anyone else say that I would tell them they are not a failure and the daily fight against the black dog is a massive achievement. Why does mental health illnesses prevent us from seeing ourselves the same way? Given the chaos and demands of our modern world, is it any wonder when our minds fall apart from the shouting, stress and strain?

Everything is good now but...  Surely I will falter again?

As always, thank you for reading and sharing. Every share and ad click, subscribe and follow, means so much to me. Thank you. xx

"gotta catch up on the day" @Blue_Smudge reason we're both on our phones in bed :P #honeymoonisover

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) May 23, 2016

This week's blog post is my 4th most popular post :) THANK YOU #MHAW16 https://t.co/3iLJPbllSr pic.twitter.com/8eeVeGVzET

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) May 22, 2016

The Blurred Truth

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The true state of our mental health is somewhat of a disjointed and foggy picture. From my own personal experience, I've found an exhausted and underfunded NHS doing its best to support me although there was a 6 month wait to start treatment. In other parts of the UK people are waiting 2 years as discussed last week when a leaked letter showed there was no Psychologist in the position.

According to recent research by MIND 1 in 4 people will suffer a mental health issue this year BUT only 25% of them will get the treatment they need. The number of prescriptions for antidepressants has risen 42% since 2012. With statistics like these plus the 9.9 million sick days in 2014 for mental health and 5100 suicides that year, its easy to think we know exactly how bad the situation is.

Find out more in the latest membership
magazine from MIND.

 However as different trusts work in different areas, with their own policies and councils, the map is awash with blurred education, crisis support and treatment. Earlier this week, research by the charity INQUEST showed that at least 9 'youngsters' had died in NHS mental health inpatient care in England since 2010 but the true figure is not known. Health Minister Alistair Blurt said he didn’t “know the number accurately”.

What is the real state of mental health services in the UK right now? Looking at the recent press we know our NHS is overwhelmed and underfunded but how bad is it?

The UK's first ever Youth Health Parliament are running a quick survey asking real people, with experience themselves or experience of close friends and family with mental illness, exactly that.
The Survey is LINKED here https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/6P6JJXD and we ask you pass this post and the link on to friends and support across the UK. We need a broad range of age, location and experience.

The YHP is funded by Google, Johnson & Johnson and LBS with a view of making/presenting real proposals and change to Cameron, Hunt, the NHS Commissioners and Pharmaceutical companies - but we need your help to prove how bad the crisis really is and what change has to happen.

A short post this week but to the point.

 In other news, I am pretty happy. Overly buzzy I guess. Last week suicidal thoughts keep popping up but they seem to have settled. Am I annoying people?  It seems that way..

That said my Nan, Mum's Mum, is having a difficult time with her memory. In short she picked a fight with me on Friday and I don't the energy to fight back. I know it is her dementia but how can I cope.

I've been more active than ever. I've started my new role as school crossing patrol officer... yes... There is a link all about it on the main page of my website: www.MattStreuli.uk 

Last week, as you may of spotted via Instagram, I had my makeup done at Pinewood Studios at the Iver Academy; a state-of-the-art leading make up and hair training centre for film and theatre. I looked stunning - a bit drag but wow.

Meanwhile, don't forget to tune into my radio show every Thursday night at 8pm on SouthWaves Radio. There's a quick highlights video below. As always, please do comment and share my blog and check out the past few editions. Thanks again!

Did you miss my radio show?
Catch the highlights here! Click LIKE and invite your friends to LIKE our page too :) https://t.co/a7m0av6u7B

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) April 10, 2016

We will increase early intervention ... Read our new 2016/17 business plan: https://t.co/5rq4Hk6AMB #FutureNHS pic.twitter.com/fyqQNvQuoL

— NHS England (@NHSEngland) April 8, 2016

Too ill to work, not ill enough to get help - A Mental Health Dilemma

Happy Easter! My Sister, Anna, and I. 

Where has the past seven days gone? I'm feeling slightly anxious just trying to remember the past seven days or perhaps it is nerves about today.
My shirt is ironed, pen and pad ready and my route checked; I'm off to the inaugural meeting of the UK's Youth Health Parliament. More on that later as first I want to talk to you about how I feel betrayed or let down by 'the system'.

I started working at 16, cleaning toilets at a major theme park. By 18, I was working in a off license whilst finishing off my A Levels. Aside from a brief spell of part time bar work (Threshers went into administration), I've been in work almost continuously from the age of 16 through to 26. As I've got older, I've earnt more and so contributed more to the tax system. For those of you new to my story, I take this chance to point out that I've been out of work due to my mental health, with additional stigma and discrimination for almost six months. In November 2015 I applied to PIP or Personal Independence Payments. Disability Living Allowance is being phased out and this is the successor. As you may of seen in my Huffington Post article I was  bit taken back to discover I am legally disabled, my symptoms meets the criteria. My PIP application has the support of my GP and included a statement from a friend which is why I felt so irritated to be told that two weeks after a meeting with their appointed independent nurse, 5 months after filling out the original forms, that I am not eligible for support.

Blog Continues below this tweet:

Got my #PIP decision letter today. Recognises my 'health issues' but don't qualify for support. So I'm not well enough and not sick enough?

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) March 24, 2016

 Click here for last week's blog post :Read more on my PIP story and how cuts to the NHS and welfare affect Mental Health here

Unless this post, or some of the other more popular posts on my weekly blog, suddenly go viral the advert revenue (please click a advert!) isn't covering my water bill let alone anything else. The staff of our NHS are amazing, but they are underfunded and overwhelmed with the mental health crisis before us.

What does mental health look like?
With thanks to SANE

As I've ranted before, the UK is the 5th largest economy in the world yet the biggest killer of Men is suicide; not cancer, car crashes or terrorism. How can we live in a country where the rate of teenagers self-harming is now at a all time high? The law makes it illegal to discriminate between mental and physical health yet we don't see the suicide crisis being rugby tackled like cancer is!

Mental health charities get it. The NHS chiefs get it. The Police, angry that they are being used as a emergency care and detention facility for mental health get it. Even the Royal Family, with Princess Kate and Prince William's work for MIND and editing the Huffington Post plus Harry's work with the armed forces and on PTSD, get it. Even Iain Ducan Smith with his recent resignation (see last week's post) finally gets it. Politicians are saying the right thing yet we see Junior Doctors being exploited, overworked and stripped; how can I expect them to fight the fire of the male suicide crisis with things just getting worse?
Why are the actions, stripping and dissolving the NHS plus quietly backtracking from promises on mental health services, not matching their words?

Please follow my blog by email (just type you email address in the box on top left of column on desktop version of site). Every follow, Retweet and advert click really does mean the world to me - Thank you

Last week as I moderated the @MH_Voices twitter feed, I shared a tweet which showed a reply to a referall. In essence, the referral was being rejected because the waiting list was too long. Why was the waiting list for mental health referral too long? There was no Psychologist in the role.

>  BLOG CONTINUES BELOW TWEET

For those who wonder why GPs prescribe antidepressants rather than send pts for CBT/talking therapy, this is why. pic.twitter.com/oTDGJb2Dac

— Marie Scully (@MarieOScully) March 24, 2016

Scroll back through my archive
to read more of my mental health story:
 Borderline Personality Disorder &
 Adult Child of a dead alcoholic

Oh God. Suddenly you begin to see that our NHS staff are doing their best but like firemen trapped by a forest fire, you can only hold it back so long without more support. If we want to tackle mental health and the crisis that I've described and discovered over the past year, then we need more firefighters with better equipment. Currently, it's all too easy for those in power to let patients kill themselves while waiting for treatment.  

I publish my blog every Wednesday, there are regular updates on my Facebook page, but as I write this I think my nerves are excitement as I think about my day to come. The Youth Health Parliament is a opportunity to not only make friends and network with people, but also to bring about real change and positively impact on people across the UK. I literally have nothing to lose by trying.

So, essay/rant over. My quick diary entry now! :)

Easter was a brilliant time which I spent playing games with my friends and family, binge watching some TV and I even did a spot of gardening! I had my training, ready to be a 'Lollipop Man' and had a good gossip and chat with my sister and my closest friends. Sometimes we all forget how lucky we are to have such amazing friends and family and I cannot believe how lucky I am. They have been tolerant, understanding and caring but with honesty and encouragement. With their letters of support I am writing to the Department of Work and Pensions to appeal their decision on my PIP application. Even a few pounds a week will help ease a big burden (MONEY AND BILLS!!) from my mind which with my ongoing medication and therapy can only help.

Thank you once again for reading and sharing my blog. PLEASE do comment below and share the link on your social media. You mean the world to me. Thank you.

I applied for PIP and was told that whilst I am ill, I do not qualify...

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on Mar 24, 2016 at 8:07am PDT

Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness! Your life matters. You matter. Please take care of yourself💕 #SickNotWeak #mentalhealth

— Kay Ska (@kay_ska) March 29, 2016

https://t.co/akLmc0sGsX pic.twitter.com/WOGyhPmUZI

— Matt Streuli (@mattstreuli) March 22, 2016

“I want my friends and family to know that I understand it from their side too. I know it’s hard to support someone with depression and I know you’re trying your best. So thank you.”
Posted by MattStreuli.uk - Mental Health Aware on Thursday, 24 March 2016

Work Vs Play #BipolarAndMe

  This week I should probably be writing about all the attention being focused on mental health but instead I would like to direct you to a fantastic blog (to read afterward mine of course :P ) which do a much better job than I. Clare or Brizzlelass wrote a brilliant post about Bipolar day and was open, honest and positive - something which is an extreme challenge to do. I currently have two diagnoses: bipolar and borderline personality disorder. They are similar and have some crossovers but either way stress doesn't help my condition.

Meanwhile I wanted to vent some frustrations with my employment. I was promised that we would be OK but we are far from it. I am sure if I looked at everything without emotion or morale it would be alright; but our species is human and not Vulcan so the rationale is braided with emotion. If any of my management are reading this then you are welcome to offer me redundancy. It would allow me to have a few months off so I could focus on my backup career without the fear that I am going to have a mental breakdown and kill myself because of you. Sorry. It is not the cheery or optimistic view I tried to have last week.

A message that others have tried to pass onto me, especially in group therapy, is that we should accept what we can do. Do what you can. The issue is, I know WE could do it better. In some cases, we used to.

So let's move onto to a place where I can make a difference and provide a great service with a great product. The great product in this case is our pantomimes. Below is the press release for our KICKSTARTER appeal. A few quid from everyone who reads this blog would help pay for paint and costumes - some of the things we are really struggling to afford. The links and info is below along with some lovely pictures. Please comment, share and like.

Thanks xx

Drama Club ‘Kickstarts’ Community Pantomime

Local Drama club turns to crowdfunding in a battle against rising overheads and to fund the show.

Money raised is being used to fund costumes and props for the forthcoming pantomime, DICK WHITTINGTON, which you can find more information about on our website (www.ihdc.co.uk) and Facebook (facebook.com/IverHeathDramaClub). Without help, the club faces an uncertain future with constant increases in costs such as insurance and royalties.

The Iver Heath Drama Club was founded in 1948 and meets every week. It has over 30 members  of all ages and a range of abilities. The community drama club is funded by ticket sales and donations but with rising overheads they are looking for inventive ways to keep the group open. Earlier this year the club turned to social media asking local residents to donate any leftover paint to help offset the costs. The next show is a pantomime called DICK WHITTINGTON which will be performed in January . Local mother Vikki Alone said “We are an all-inclusive club established in 1948 for all ages and abilities. Our shared passion for drama has enabled us to become a cornerstone in our community, providing a safe and nurturing environment for our youngsters and adults alike.”

Kickstarter campaigns operate under an “all-or-nothing” funding model so if the Drama Club doesn’t reach its goal then group goes empty-handed. Be sure to follow them on Twitter and Facebook to follow their progress and make sure to spread the word to your social media networks.  Consider donating as little as £3 to help their project come to life.  If you decide to donate more, you could buy VIP family tickets to the pantomime in January or even a date with the Dame.

The club played a vital role in the building of the current Iver Heath Village Hall which it continues to call home and to this day maintains the stage lights and stage for the club, hall and other hirers to use. The club charges a £2 for youth and £3 for adults a week membership fee and has the lowest pantomime ticket prices in our region.

Local primary school teacher Jo Williams said “I met my husband at IHDC and now our son goes. We need to make sure that IHDC keeps going so my grandson and his children go there too.”

MORE INFO IS ON OUR WEBSITE : www.ihdc.co.uk
 

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If you’d like more information about the Project, or to schedule an interview with Carol or Matt please call  07941 818 621 or send them a Tweet @ihdc
 
Since Kickstarter was launched, on April 28, 2009, 9.6 million people have backed a project, $2 billion has been pledged, and 93,515 projects have been successfully funded. For more information please contact press@kickstarter.com

Dick Whittington is our Pantomime this year!! Please invite all your friends to come along and join in the fun! Join this event for all details and exciting updates! Maybe even some sneaky peaks!
Posted by Iver Heath Drama Club on Tuesday, 6 October 2015

 

Justgiving - This will help fund the costumes and props for our forthcoming pantomime, DICK WHITTINGTON,... http://t.co/kB4YkGxKx1

— Matthew E Streuli (@mattstreuli) October 6, 2015

 

Running water found on mars, Protests at cereal bars, The Moon is turning blood red, Cameron boned a pig head, WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE

— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) September 28, 2015

He can't believe how tidy my flat is either

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on Oct 3, 2015 at 11:04am PDT