Showing posts with label mindful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindful. Show all posts

Scented Candles and #SelfCare

Human nature seems to like maintaining the status quo however when that is the routine deaths of 100,000 people each year linked to issues with mental health care, I can’t help feeling something can and should change.

Whilst the male suicide rate was at its lowest in 2017 (since 1981 when the Office for National Statistics started) it is still the biggest killer of men from their teens to the time they should get their bus pass. In 2017, 5,821 people ended their own lives. 4,382 (75.3%) of those were male.


There are many ways to tackle this and different organisations are taking different multi-pronged approaches. In fact this week sees the Mind Media Awards which does a fantastic job of promoting sensible and careful conversation of mental health in the press or on films and TV. It also rewards those programmes, journalists and producers who undertake this difficult conversation and encourage people to talk and seek help. I was very proud to be on the shortlisting panel for the awards for a third year running and as ever found it a rewarding, enlightening and humbling experience. You can watch the event live via the Mind website.


One of the prongs to tackle this killer is the idea of self-care. In the ever hectic world where stress is the biggest cause of absence at work, helping people make healthier decisions can not just save the NHS millions or decrease your waist size but actually steer people away from the edge. The image of having a relaxing bath, or sitting still for 5 minutes of calm with candle or wax melt can at first feel quite… ladylike. But why should there be anything wrong with looking after your mind if it’s OK to look after your body? 


I asked on twitter: When was the last time you did nothing? Just focused on a raindrop, sat still, silently noticing the world around and what your senses' sense?

Every vote was either 'Rarely' or 'Never'.


One of the ways I practise self-care is to sit still and practise some simplified mindfulness with a wax melt or a candle to focus on. How does it smell? Can you see the flicker of the flame or the wisps of fragrance raise from the pool? Taking 5 minutes to notice these things allows your body and mind to reset from the chaos that is your pinging emails, buzzing text messages and banging of children or telephones. 


Below is a video review for Pick N Melt who reached out to me and given the nature of my blog and social media wanted my view on their products. The Mrs-to-be and I adore a Yankee Candle so went in with high hopes. It would be nice to spend some money on craft-made UK candles and wax melts? 


I have been blown away by the beautiful scents available and how well the fragrance remains. I've used big brand wax melts before and ended up with 'scent-less' wax lining my bin after a few hours but the 'Seville Orange' has been going for almost 35 hours now and it still smells like we've zested our own fruits right there. It's not overpowering but it is strong and lasts really well. I'm really impressed with the value of money their monthly subscription pack provides - a perfect gift for Christmas or for you to share with your friends and promote a bit of #selfcare.  #BeTheMateYoudWant.

Thanks for reading! Please share, subscribe and comment. Why not have a look at some past popular posts I've linked below!?



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The Mental Health Fight & Unboxing a Little Box of Distractions

Four months ago, I tried to kill myself. The main cause was stress and workload at work, since we had lost several members of staff without them being replaced, but the trigger was an incident at work where I defended someone I 'saw' as vulnerable but I came under attack. Without consciously knowing it, I needed to look after that vulnerable person just as I was the sole carer for my Mother between the ages of 8 and 13. She died when I was 13 from alcoholism. My 'damaged' hardware and software of my mind crashed. Once I returned to work, I volunteered my NHS assessments to my employer, saw their appointed Doctor who gave them a list of adjustments (which they only followed one of) and I agreed to be more open rather than bottle things up. I did. We all did.
I lasted just over 3 months. The trigger was when I brought something to the attention of my senior Manager and challenged him, just like we are always being told to. I told him he had offended some of the staff and he replied with "I don't care". It set off the same cascade failure we had seen a few months earlier except this time, I asked for help. When I told that same manager I had been signed off due to work he replied "No one else has a problem." He even tried to convince me to resign. I've seen GPs, my psychologists, I've spoken with solicitors and legal teams at Citizens Advice Bureau and ACAS as well as the fantastic team at MIND, the mental health charity. He discriminated against me, I assume because of my health condition, and tried to constructively dismiss me. I went straight to HR.

I self harmed because of him.  They knowingly exacerbated my condition.

On Monday, after some postponement, I have my first meeting with HR. If I didn't ask for help, this meeting could be taking place at an inquest in front of the press and a coroner. If I didn't ask for help they would have my blood on their hands.

I summarise my story because some of you are new to my blog. I have proactively removed any evidence of who I work for from my website and social media and I have never mentioned it here or in my interviews with the press. I want to tell my story but I do not wish for the negligent behaviour of a man to damage such a fantastic company I would work for but, I make clear, I would rather KILL MYSELF, then work in that department again or for that man again.

Such a meeting is playing on my mind. I went on a midnight walk last night to try and clear it. Will they be reasonable? Will they care about me? Will they be concerned for the welfare of those at work, working Saturdays to try and keep up? Will they want me to back in a different division?

Even though I am so much better than I was four months ago when I tried to kill myself, and better than I was a month ago when I first asked for help, my anxiety has returned and I am scared for my future. How will I pay my credit cards? My mortgage? It would be great if I could do more interviews like the one for LBC last week and fill my life with the little volunteer projects for the local Police and even this blog, but how will that feed or water me?

One way of helping people with mental health, especially those in a difficult place or an unhealthy frame of mind, is a box of distractions. Kerry Elliot is running a scheme where those who need the box can get one for free or a small donation. The scheme is crowdfunded. It is a brilliant idea and is really helping me at the moment, taking myself away from some of the more destructive thoughts. A video review is down below but boxes like this are really helping. I wonder whether a monthly box, like lootcrate, would work. I'm quite interested to use some of them and as you will see from the video, my cat Punch likes them too.

I have so much going for me. Hopefully you'll agree my interview on LBC went really well and maybe they will give me the leg up to do more media things. My radio show has a steady amount of listeners and my blog gets steadily more popular. The pantomime is coming really well and for the first time in a couple of years, I'm not being all negative and hateful towards it, an apparent side effect of work. I'm fighting. Fighting not to let them kill me. Fighting not to overthink. Fighting not to fail. Fighting for what is right and just. Fighting so that people with mental health are not locked away or left for dead. Fighting to survive and so that others survive too. Fighting to help others, and not hurt them.

I can see all of this on a loop. I'm going to open up that box and distract myself. I have to try.








http://mattstreuli.tumblr.com/post/132933305867/buy-your-tickets-now-and-the-booking-fee-is-free

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What is the point of it all?

 xx click for full screen xx
Last week I told you how excited I was to be finding positives in my current negative and anxious situation. This week I should be excited as again I'm on the Huffington Post, my radio show is getting good ratings but most of all it is my 26th birthday on Saturday or Hallowe'en. So please tell me why I feel unconvinced about it all?

Why do we all put so much effort in? Whatever problem you are facing or task you are battling, once it is over there will always be something else.I found a poem which I put at the very bottom of this week's post I'd like you to read.

That said, I do understand the completing a task or challenge can be fun and rewarding. I really enjoy making my radio show and writing here and on HuffPost. I find it quite therapeutic and gives me something positive to focus on. Pantomime is coming along well and actually ticket sales are quite good so I am proud about that. On the whole I guess I am looking forward to my birthday; a group of freinds and family gathering to eat sweets, punch local trick or treaters and set off some fireworks. I'm currently debating whether I need The Reckoning Barrage from Tesco.

In good news, I spoke with Vodafone who upgraded me early with no fee to the Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge+ and I love it. There are a few things I'm a bit iffy over but as the OS updates come through I am sure it will be great. The quality of the screen and the speed of the thing is very impressive. I also got my new washer dryer from AO.com. The product is fine but not overly impressed with their delivery staff - commenting on my flat being cluttered and so on. I have had a few downs this past week but I am trying to power through them. I dealt with the bombardment of my job so I can keep on top now.

This week's post is short as I would love it if you could go and read my latest article on HuffPost called You Give A Little Love and It All Comes Back To You after the song from Bugsy Malone.

 I used to consider myself as somewhere between the Conservatives and the Lib Dems on the UK spectrum but the more this Conservative Government does, the more I am convinced we as a country were safer when the Lib Dems were there in some role.  I'd like to finish on a poem (AT THE END/BOTTOM OF THE POST) which made me deeply think about my suicidal thoughts in the past few days.



Well Billy rapped all night about his suicide
How he kick it in the head when he was twenty-five
Speed jive don't want to stay alive
When you're twenty-five

- All The Young Dudes, Mott the Hoople - on this week's show on SouthWaves Radio!

Thanks again for reading and sharing xxx






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Work Vs Play #BipolarAndMe

  This week I should probably be writing about all the attention being focused on mental health but instead I would like to direct you to a fantastic blog (to read afterward mine of course :P ) which do a much better job than I. Clare or Brizzlelass wrote a brilliant post about Bipolar day and was open, honest and positive - something which is an extreme challenge to do. I currently have two diagnoses: bipolar and borderline personality disorder. They are similar and have some crossovers but either way stress doesn't help my condition.

Meanwhile I wanted to vent some frustrations with my employment. I was promised that we would be OK but we are far from it. I am sure if I looked at everything without emotion or morale it would be alright; but our species is human and not Vulcan so the rationale is braided with emotion. If any of my management are reading this then you are welcome to offer me redundancy. It would allow me to have a few months off so I could focus on my backup career without the fear that I am going to have a mental breakdown and kill myself because of you. Sorry. It is not the cheery or optimistic view I tried to have last week.

A message that others have tried to pass onto me, especially in group therapy, is that we should accept what we can do. Do what you can. The issue is, I know WE could do it better. In some cases, we used to.

So let's move onto to a place where I can make a difference and provide a great service with a great product. The great product in this case is our pantomimes. Below is the press release for our KICKSTARTER appeal. A few quid from everyone who reads this blog would help pay for paint and costumes - some of the things we are really struggling to afford. The links and info is below along with some lovely pictures. Please comment, share and like.
Thanks xx


Drama Club ‘Kickstarts’ Community Pantomime
Local Drama club turns to crowdfunding in a battle against rising overheads and to fund the show.
Money raised is being used to fund costumes and props for the forthcoming pantomime, DICK WHITTINGTON, which you can find more information about on our website (www.ihdc.co.uk) and Facebook (facebook.com/IverHeathDramaClub). Without help, the club faces an uncertain future with constant increases in costs such as insurance and royalties.

The Iver Heath Drama Club was founded in 1948 and meets every week. It has over 30 members  of all ages and a range of abilities. The community drama club is funded by ticket sales and donations but with rising overheads they are looking for inventive ways to keep the group open. Earlier this year the club turned to social media asking local residents to donate any leftover paint to help offset the costs. The next show is a pantomime called DICK WHITTINGTON which will be performed in January . Local mother Vikki Alone said “We are an all-inclusive club established in 1948 for all ages and abilities. Our shared passion for drama has enabled us to become a cornerstone in our community, providing a safe and nurturing environment for our youngsters and adults alike.”

Kickstarter campaigns operate under an “all-or-nothing” funding model so if the Drama Club doesn’t reach its goal then group goes empty-handed. Be sure to follow them on Twitter and Facebook to follow their progress and make sure to spread the word to your social media networks.  Consider donating as little as £3 to help their project come to life.  If you decide to donate more, you could buy VIP family tickets to the pantomime in January or even a date with the Dame.

The club played a vital role in the building of the current Iver Heath Village Hall which it continues to call home and to this day maintains the stage lights and stage for the club, hall and other hirers to use. The club charges a £2 for youth and £3 for adults a week membership fee and has the lowest pantomime ticket prices in our region.

Local primary school teacher Jo Williams said “I met my husband at IHDC and now our son goes. We need to make sure that IHDC keeps going so my grandson and his children go there too.”

https://www.facebook.com/IverHeathDramaClub/photos/a.10150597747301559.382285.92875806558/10153320296446559/?type=3&theaterMORE INFO IS ON OUR WEBSITE : www.ihdc.co.uk
 
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If you’d like more information about the Project, or to schedule an interview with Carol or Matt please call  07941 818 621 or send them a Tweet @ihdc
 
Since Kickstarter was launched, on April 28, 2009, 9.6 million people have backed a project, $2 billion has been pledged, and 93,515 projects have been successfully funded. For more information please contact press@kickstarter.com


Dick Whittington is our Pantomime this year!! Please invite all your friends to come along and join in the fun! Join this event for all details and exciting updates! Maybe even some sneaky peaks!
Posted by Iver Heath Drama Club on Tuesday, 6 October 2015
 


 



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Reboot into October 2015



 Did you miss me?

I felt I needed to take a short hiatus to practise some self-care, mindfulness but also to try and accept the situations I am in rather than get worked up about it. Perhaps now is the best time to re-cap my story.  

I’m Matt. I’m 25 and I live in my own flat near Heathrow in England. I have a full time job and a cat. Compared to most of the Earth’s population, I should feel lucky. At the end of last year (2014) I approached my GP after a severe bout of depression. For me, my depression has always come in waves. Imagine low and hide tide, most of the time the water, my mood, is in the middle. This has been a good description of my emotions since my middle teens – some bouts far more noticeable than others. My GP referred me and dosed me up and after many different referrals and consultations, by phone and in person, I was given two slight different diagnoses; bipolar disorder or a unspecified personality disorder. The first diagnoses came from a company occupational health Doctor I saw after an incident at work, combined with stress and anxiety, lead to ansever black patch and a suicide attempt earlier this year. The later diagnoses from the NHS who sent me to group therapy where I learnt some very useful tools such as mindfulness and some tools I’m less enthusiastic about, such as acceptance.

As you read through past posts, you can probably spot the waves as the tides of my mood move higher and lower, in and out. I’m rather pleased to say that the tide isn’t high, nor is it low, at the moment so I feel in control and almost confident.

I’ve used this blog for different things. Sometimes as a diary, to explore and understand how I feel and who I am. Other times this blog has moved into comedy, politics and trying to breakdown the stigma that surrounds mental health. Recently, I have come across issues whereI cannot be completely honest as I normally would be for fear of upsetting or embarrassing those around me or just creating problems. A new example of this is my work. I would love to go into details but I can’t. I can’t complain either, I have bills to pay and I can’t afford to be disposed of. In fact, all I can say is a quote:

“But every mornin'
I wake up and worry
What's gonna happen today
You see it your way
And I see it mine
But we both see it slippin' away”


As hard as it is, I’m trying to focus on what I can do and what I can change compared to what I have no hope with. As you may have seen from my blog post on www.ihdc.co.uk I am now the Chairman of the Iver Heath Drama Club. We are a small not-for-profit  self-funding community group with 40+ members aged 6 through to 85+ and hopefully late 2016 we will become a CIO charity. It’s a huge honour to be elected or promoted to this role and the club is something I am deeply proud of. As a child, getting to be someone else on stage, just for a little while, gave me an escape from being the sole carer for my alcoholic Mother. Every year we perform at least two shows and we are now working towards our January pantomime – DICK WHITTINGTON – in which I have once again been type cast as the Dame. I love the club, even if it is a cause of much drama. Have a look below and see some of the fantastic dance routines which are ‘en route’!! If you could help us fundraise, either through Kickstarter or the cashback site easyfundraising that would be brilliant. It gives a lot of local youngsters and adults and positive community outlet as well some hilarious show.

I also have some fantastic friends who put up with my humour whether it is silly, witty, sarcastic-y or rude. Having people keep an eye out on you is fantastic. 
LOL at Claire's face!! #RockyHorror
It is like having a mini-family. Only a few weeks ago a member of this friend-family passed away but I think everyone saw this as a lesson to be learned. Helen was cheeky, rude and fun mother to my best friend. She refused to fit the stereotype that society demanded of a woman her age and that made her approachable, intelligent and hilarious. She accepted what she could do and what she couldn’t but even in illness, never let that confine her. If anything, that should be our goal. I can’t fix certain things, and that’s OK, but I can do so much and I should enjoy, revel and rebel in doing so.
To finish: we should all be a little bit more Helen each day.
And as such, here is a video of people being hit in the face by whipped cream.  

Thanks for reading, sharing and supporting my blog and breaking the stigma of mental health.

Find out more at www.ihdc.co.uk and click on news xx #amdram #AGM #iverheath #iver #blog #theatre

A photo posted by Matthew E Streuli (@matthewstreuli) on

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