Earlier this week I talked through accepting distress from my group therapy.
• I don’t respond to your texts/msgs for hours or sometime not at all
• I make cynical comments, especially about my existence and my abilities
• I hate myself and blame myself for everything, even if I know they are out of my control
• My taste in Music changes
• I isolate myself (online and in reality) avoiding groups. Just preferring to be alone
• I feel bad for ruining other people’s lives – just by existing
• I stare out into space and find it harder to concentrate more than normal - even on easy things.
• I’m not as laid back or positive as normal, in fact I’m snappier and more frustrated than normal
• OR I just don’t care any more. I find no pleasure in anything. I have no energy to do things.
• I feel drained. Acting OK, putting on a mask to try and be normal Matt just wears me out.
• I lose track of time
• I sleep too much
• I feel anxious and under attack. Any plans feel like heavy pressure and commitment
• I can’t control negative thoughts, no matter how much I try
• I stay in one place for long periods of time without moving much
• I self harm and sometimes smoke cigars
• I feel like I want to cry but I never can. Sometimes I feel numb until I cut myself.
• I feel confused and jealous. You are all so happy and live such good lives and I can never get close.
Based on original post at http://aestheticallysatisfied.tumblr.com/post/121981270789/how-to-tell-if-im-sad-again
I'm scared I'm crashing - I’m scared I’m crashing Xxxx http://t.co/MuyqUPMnPM http://t.co/ezeeYXlR9C— Matthew E Streuli (@mattstreuli) August 20, 2015